I am currently taking Course 2: Renewing Your Mind and I was able to make it over a Hurdle, which is Milestone # 9. “OW is not the Enemy” and want to share HOW HE helped me let go of my fear and move forward.
Since this is my first praise report, I will start by saying when my EH left I suspected there was an OW and I asked him but he assured me there was not. He had already filed for divorce before he left or even told me he was going. About a week later I was served with the papers. I decided I was not going to sign them. I was told this was a no fault state and if I didn’t sign the divorce would go through. Turns out that’s not true.
About a week after I thought the divorce was final I got a phone call from my EH asking me to sign the papers and take them to the courthouse. At this time I had already found RMI and I was learning about being submissive. I called the court house and sure enough, if I choose not to sign the divorce, it wouldn’t go through. I did as he asked.
This was just about a week before Christmas and I figured it would be at least after the first of the year before I would hear anything. It was just a few days after Christmas when I got the final papers. My EH had asked me to file our taxes together and split the return because the minor children we could claim are mine from my first marriage. He wouldn’t get any child credit if we filed separately.
At first, I said no on the advice of friends and family. After reading RYM book I contacted him and said I would do this. He received his W-2’s about a week before I got mine. When I told him I got mine and to set us an appointment to file he said he needed to meet with me. I just said ok. He came to my house and told me he needed the money so he went ahead and filed alone and he claimed my youngest girl on his taxes. He needed my signature to keep him from having to pay the child tax credit back. I signed.
As he was leaving he said “I just wanted to let you know I am dating someone here in town (He moved to another town when he left me about 30 miles away). I just said “ok”.
The amazing part was that I didn’t fall apart. I felt no pain. All day that day I kept repeating “I will NOT fear evil tidings, my heart is fixed, trusting You Lord”. God had told me his coming to talk to me was not with good news and I needed to be ready. Two days before he asked to come over God had told me to fast. I was on day 5 of the fast when he came over. I felt such peace after he left. That was all my HH!
The next day I got a text from an old friend saying that my EH was dating a mutual friend of ours that went to our church. When I got the text I actually chuckled. Then as I thought about it I felt a sadness for them both. I got on my knees and cried and prayed for them both. My heart literally ached for them knowing they are both being so deceived by Satan. I didn’t and still haven’t felt anger for her or him about it. That too is all my HH. She was a friend of mine.
When my EH left she was one who told me how sorry she was for me and that she was praying he would come back. The funny thing was that very soon after she texted me telling me she was sorry and praying, my HH told me to not discuss my restoration journey with anyone except my sister. So when this woman texted me again to ask how I was doing, I just text back ‘Praise the Lord! God is working”. After a few times of texting this answer, she stopped texting me. From what I gather they were already chatting it up when she was asking me this. I haven’t heard from him or her since. I don’t pray for them anymore except that God’s will be done in their lives. I do feel very sorry for them because I know from God’s word how this will end and they will both be hurt from it. I truly hope it is a Godly sorrow that leads them both to repentance.
Do not fear to let go of your EH or your anger at the OW. I know from my experience that this is the only way to have the abundant life God promises us in His word. If you are anything like me, before coming to this ministry I had no idea the woman I truly was. I thought everything was my EH fault. I was so wrong.
I tore down my own house and I was the one unfaithful to my HH. Once you see your sin for what it really is, it will make it much easier to forgive Your EH and the OW sin. Before I sold out to the Lord and made Him my HH I was just like her and He forgave me. How can I NOT forgive her? I know He loves them both as much as He loves me and He wants them to fall in love with Him just as I have. If He can change me, he can change them and you. Give it to Him. Let Him heal you from the inside out. Then you will have joy unspeakable and full of glory!
To the Lord our God belong mercies and forgiveness, though we have rebelled against him; Daniel 9:9
God forgives us for all the sins we have committed against Him and He still loves us with perfect love. This is the kind of love we are to show to all, even our enemy. We can only show this kind of forgiveness when we receive it from Him and let Him do this through us. He promises to bless us if we will do this.
~ Miranda in South Carolina
Do you want to PRAISE Him for how He’s shown you how to FORGIVE in order to be an Encouraging Woman to someone who’s struggling to forgive?
Remember, Matthew 7:13-14 tells us to “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it. For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it.”
And Psalm 100:4 tells us HOW to Enter— “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name.”
Be sure to submit a Praise Report today and enter through that narrow gate few ever find!