Love Washed Away My Guilt

So the 15/12/2016 marked 15 years to the day that I walked out on my marriage my family and my home. I felt sadness but I still declared: β€œThis is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it, and I declare a festival of miracles in my life today!”

Well my mom is now living with her ex-husband, they reconciled 6 months ago after 10 years of separation after both their spouses had passed away. My mom had remarried but not my stepfather. I was visiting my mom when my ex in-laws arrived (my stepdad and my MIL are brother and sister.) It was the first time since my stand that I had been in their company and I noticed their hearts had definitely softened towards me. For the first time in my life I looked at them with the love of the Lord, something I did not even do while I was married. It was not coincidence that they visited that day and God orchestrated it because I was just about to leave. I had the honour of making them tea for the first time in 15 years.

But, for me the miracle was that in the past I would cower in their presence, guilt ridden because of the sorrow I had caused them and their son. This time it was different. I greeted them with a friendly smile and then looked each of them in the eye and asked how they were separately. They responded in a friendly manner. Throughout the visit I was praying and looked at them with so much love that I am sure they must have felt it. The love of God washed away my fear and was replaced with love. I had the courage that only God gives.

Glory to God for preparing me for what I thought what might be a battle. He prepared the table. I’m no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God.

β€œThis is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad today!” Psalm 118:24 (NCV)

β€œYou prepare a meal for me in front of my enemies. You pour oil of blessing on my head;[a] you fill my cup to overflowing.” Psalm 23:5 (NCV)

β€œThe Spirit we received does not make us slaves again to fear; it makes us children of God. With that Spirit we cry out, β€œFather.” Romans 8:15 Β (NCV)
~ Mercy in South Africa

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