Today was the very first time that I’d be celebrating Mother’s Day as a mother! Thank you to my Beloved for making a miracle out of my life come true! For making me a mother though I don’t know if I deserved to be!
My EH contacted me last night and asked if I would go to church and have lunch with his family since my MIL requested that I come, so I agreed. I was already programmed that I’d be spending the day with my Beloved and child only but it turned out He had different plans for me.
I know it is still not reconciliation, it is just a casual get together but I praise the Lord for allowing me to at least spend time with my other family!
Last night, I was going through the lesson of spiritual leader and I already gave up going to my church since I know now that my EH is my spiritual covering. I was actually baffled and confused as to what I would say to him last night but I knew I had to submit to him and since he is the one who asked me to go to church with him, I had agreed.
I pray to the Lord last night to please let the message in service touch the heart of my EH somehow and during the service when the priest is preaching, he is telling us about the stages of letting go.
My EH was beside me all this time and I don’t know how to control my tears from flowing because all throughout the service, I focused on the Lord only and not try to be a Pharisee by actively participating in the rituals in the mass.
I was astounded! Letting go is actually one of the most difficult phases of my journey with the Lord and to be able to hear it from another person, a priest, during a service sitting beside my EH was the turning point for me! He told us that we should ask ourselves if God is asking us to let go of something in particular in our lives right now and for me that someone was just sitting beside me! I refused to think since I know I have to take every thought captive that maybe, my EH is also thinking the same thing about me but what mattered to me most is that God is allowing these circumstances to happen to show me what HE can do, what situation HE can create in order for me to lay everything unto His feet because HE truly loves me enough that HE wants what’s the best for me! And not letting go meant that I still held unto the things that are causing me to feel so much pain! Praise the Lord! I was uplifted, my spirit is! God gives us the things we had prayed for but only so much better and if ever we are in doubt on what we should do, we should not be afraid to ask Him because He will deliver His promises to us! Having spent time with my EH was not the same as before, instead, I looked forward to coming home and spending alone time with my HH whom I know is the only one who can provide for me an unfailing love!
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “
~ Cherie in Manila
New Tagalog Translator