All Counselors Felt Short of My Expectations

♕ Today's Promise: “Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” James‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭

☊ PR Podcast Rut Ester

As I read the chapter about psychology in the Renew course, the Lord gave me an answer to a question I made to Him last year. I asked Him why no counselors I went to were a right fit. They left me equally empty.

At the beginning of last year, I asked my earthly husband for us to go to Christian counseling. He said no because he said he knew what they would say. So, I asked for non-Christian counseling. He didn’t want to but agreed. We went to counseling for 4 months with nothing getting better. Things were superficially looking better but deep down I knew they weren’t. My earthly husband kept pulling further away from me. See, I was the contentious woman in the first course and could not see the log in my eye. Counseling made my earthly husband see that log even bigger and better than before. I wasn’t following the Lord at that time.

When my Restoration Journey began, I, once again, asked for counseling and my earthly husband reluctantly said yes. We had one appointment together where I let him do all the speaking. That same week we each had an individual appointment. My “Christian” counselor who cost more money than we could afford at that time, let me know of my legal rights and how much child support my earthly husband would have to give me. He told me I had to stop blaming myself, which caused me to blame my earthly husband solely when I was the one who drove him away. At the end of the appointment the counselor said there was nothing else he could do for me. My husband had made up his mind. Not once did he mention God. It was money down the drain. God knows what he told my earthly husband on his solo appointment.

So I decided to Seek God during that time since the counselor couldn’t do anything for me. As I Sought God, not having any of the Restore Your Marriage (RYM) principles, He led me closer to Himself. I actually got to a point of letting go which led my earthly husband to seek me. But, without the Restore Your Marriage foundations that are all straight from the Bible, I fell back into my old ways. I was broken, but not broken enough.

Months later, when my earthly husband was close to leaving, I sought counseling once again. This time I was Seeking God but was still double-minded. I also didn’t know about my Heavenly Husband. I went to another Christian counselor who tried rapid-eye movement therapy. What a weird thing. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t like it. She also asked me if I was willing to forgive everything my husband was doing, in a condescending tone. That struck me as strange since she was a Christian and the Bible clearly says to forgive others. I never went back. Still, I was very fearful and shortly after I went to another counselor. This time I wanted help to manage my toddler as his dad was close to leaving. This counselor was the most Christian-related of all but my appointments were transferred to another counselor. Yes, my fourth counselor in 6 months. It was nice having someone to talk to but at the end of the appointments I always felt rushed to move on with my life. My earthly husband had left and I was expected to be ready for divorce, which I never wanted. I stopped making appointments. I felt no counseling was helping me.

This whole ordeal happened so I would realize how my Love was protecting me from trusting in man. He was keeping me from counselors. All counselors felt short of my expectations which is obvious since all humans fail, and my Beloved was leading me closer to Him as I sought others. What a fool!

Through RMI, I’ve learned to trust in Him alone. I’ve made plenty of mistakes and He corrects me with so much love. As I seek Him, He guides me and leads me closer to Him and His plans. Praise Him!

Dear Bride, don’t trust in man. Learn from my mistakes. Stop seeking others instead of seeking Him. Stop wasting money for things that don’t work. If counseling had helped, you wouldn’t be here. I don’t know your situation, but He does. Seek His face. He gives peace beyond understanding. He restores broken hearts. He heals all wounds. That’s what you want most, isn’t it? Only He can give it.

“Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” ‭‭James‬ ‭1:8‬ ‭(NIV‬‬)

“Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” James‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭(NIV‬‬)

“But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy‬ ‭4:29‬ (‭NIV‬‬)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ (‭NIV‬‬)

~ Rut Ester in Florida
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