All the Garbage Cried Out

I’ll tell you the end from the beginning…

Just this year (2019) The Lord decided it was time to deal with my past abusive relationship with my 1st husband.

He decided to allow me to be severely harassed in my dreams. I had night terrors like no one would believe unless they had been through it themselves. This had gone on for several years, but just this year it got to the point where I had to submit a prayer request. I couldn’t understand WHY the Lord was allowing this, I repeated scripture before bed and begged Him for ‘good’ dreams.

He also used a family member to constantly attack me verbally. I kept praying that God would bless this person, and the attacks grew worse and worse. I was thinking that soon it would come to an end because I allowed it to increase, trying to stay agreeable and hold my position.

One night this person came to my bedroom and was screaming and yelling and threatening me, I didn’t mean to, but my tears just started flowing as I just laid there helpless. They saw my tears and asked what was wrong. (Really?) I told them they reminded me of a person from my past that was quite verbally abusive (And physically although I didn’t share that).

IMMEDIATELY the person stopped screaming and told me ‘You know it wasn’t your fault right?'

Then they promised never to do that again and left the room. I cried for what seemed like forever over being told the truth. The next morning I was alone with the Lord and was begging Him to show me WHY I was having these night terrors.

And the FLASHBACKS began one after another of physical and verbal abuse. This went on for quite some time as all the garbage was cried out. I didn’t even know it was in there! So deeply rooted was the pain and anguish. Those deep groans as the Spirit is doing His work.

Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds".

Within a month one of my daughters got a call that she and her son were approved for a place down the street. Would you believe it? It’s the exact place where all of the abuse took place 33 years ago! When my husband and I drove into the parking lot, he parked directly in front the of the apartment I lived in at the time. I justed glanced at it, but no trepidation, just a glance.

Thank You, my Heavenly Love, for continuing the good work in me, healing me and helping me to trust you more.

Philippians 1:6 "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ"

Darby Bible Translation. "Having the confidence of this very thing, that he who has begun in you a good work will complete it unto Jesus Christ's day".

~ Mona
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