Don’t You Think I knew this Would Happen?

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22  Praise the Lord for always being good and merciful!

I went through some trials last week and HH led me to share it with you so I could maybe help some of you not to make the same mistake I did.

My relationship with EH is better than has ever been and I’m seeing him more often. So with that, I made a mistake – I reached out and asked him if we wanted to grab some ice cream with me. Even though he texted back saying no for the ice cream but yes for going with me as he could go to the next door and grab a sub for us. I believe the fact that I reached out gave space for the enemy to work.

We went together and we talked, we had a good time but then when we were leaving the sub place the woman working there said goodbye and she said EH’s name. I’ve been in this sub place many times before and I don’t remember they saying goodbye followed by anyone’s name. At that moment I said things I shouldn’t have said. I was not gentle or quiet. I also lied because when EH asked me if I was jealous I said no.

Two days later I saw EH and I was cold towards him and again said things I shouldn’t have said.

The first time that this happened I asked HH to forgive me. I was upset for saying the things I did but I was more upset because I felt I was embarrassing my HH. I knew better so why was I acting like I was?! He at that time didn’t say anything.

The second time around I repented again but didn’t hear from Him.  So yesterday, being Sunday I was able to stay in bed for a little longer than I normally stay. I did my morning reading and prayer and I had a long conversation with Him. I told Him that I’ve been fasting every week, I read His word, I pray, I know what He says about being gentle and quiet so why was I acting that way? So then, He said, “Don’t you think I knew this would happen? Don’t you think I knew you would make this mistake? This is so you remember that you will always need Me. I must be first.”

Sundays are the day that typically HH gives me a new song to praise Him and after hearing what HH had just told me, I went online to play some of the songs I have saved in a playlist and when I thought I had clicked to a song He led me to click on a testimony. It was from a singer that was saying that she went through a war, a long one. She said she came back victorious but she felt that after this war she wasn’t writing, singing the same way she was before, that her eyes weren’t shining anymore, she felt like she couldn’t praise Him the way He deserved to be Praised. While she was talking to HH, He told her “Didn’t you think I knew this would happen?” He then told her to keep praying that He would restore her strengths again and He would give her things she didn’t have before. She said two years passed and one day she was singing and writing better than she did before. She was ministering to other people, He gave her things she didn’t have before.

I knew then that He had confirmed through her what He had said to me. And I praised Him! I remembered then that better than asking Him why I should have praised Him!

EH came by yesterday and I was able to be quiet and gentle again. And surprisingly my EH was kind and gentle towards me; it was like I hadn’t said the things I had said the last couple times I saw him. I believe HH erase the bad things I said. I believe my HH did turn the bad things I said into good because He knows my heart.

He gave me another chance, He showed me again His love for me! He showed me once more than I need to praise Him in every circumstance! That I need to start looking at things the way He sees them and follow the principles by letting my husband take the lead.

” Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 NIV

“For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do” Romans 7:18-19 NIV

“But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5 NIV

~ Grace in North Carolina