Fighting Back in Our Limited Strength and Flawed Capacity

♕ Today's Promise: "My mouth will impart wisdom, and the meditation of my heart will bring understanding. I will incline my ear to a proverb; I will express my riddle with the harp." Psalm 49:3-4

☊ PR Podcast Esme

The lesson 'Name them one by one' in the HTBB series follows the one on living in the blessings of the Lord. From this class, I have learnt that for evil to be vanquished, it needs to ramp up and increase greatly AND we not resist it, only then can it be thoroughly destroyed once and for all. That when evil is done to us, we then must seek, as led by our HH, for ways to (1) turn the other cheek (2) embrace the evil by not resisting it (3) go the extra mile by giving even more than what was asked of us, as led by our HH.

This is beyond anything I had ever imagined I would be called to do. Yet the word of God really confounds the wise by using foolish and weak things to shame the strong. Oh that I may count all my wisdom as foolishness to do His will alone.

I had to give a shout of victory when I read this lesson as it reminded me of a recent incident where I wanted so desperately to say something that I knew I shouldn't as it would only cause strife. This incident underscored for the importance of us burying God's word so deep in our hearts and stay deeply hidden in the Lord so we can embrace evil and let it increase instead of fighting back in our limited strength and flawed capacity. It was a real struggle and I wanted so desperately to say something even though I knew it would serve no useful purpose except cause upset.

I went for a long evening walk and I was crying out to God to help me not do it, when this verse sprang to mind: walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of the flesh - Galatians 5:16. Quite honestly I think this is the first time I have wielded the sword of the spirit to ward off temptation! And what's more, I didn't go searching, the Holy Spirit simply brought it to mind!! How good is our HH! I have since used that verse a few more times when that same thought came up until it subsided and the urge has now left me as I clearly see the absurdity of such an action and how it would benefit no one except to cause strife, yet we have been called to peace. The word of God really is alive, and rightly dividing it (2 Tim 2:15) has to be our pleasure.

Still, I recently spend some time catching up on all my 'Encourager' testimonies and for every test I have passed, I uncovered one that I had supposedly failed judging by the countless testimonies that inadvertently provide us with a roadmap on this restoration journey back to our HH. It made me feel both sad and defeated, like I had done too many things wrong that restoration wouldn't happen for me because I have failed some key tests. Yet does God really work in such absolute terms? Isn't God merciful even while He has patterns He works within? Just how prescriptive and rigorously are we to interpret His methods? Is there room for grace? Must we not leave room for his mercy and grace? He doesn't always pay us what we deserve, He is merciful and sees the heart.

Are we to earn this restoration ourselves by our good works of passing tests? And what about the Bible telling me that all my good works are filthy rugs in His eyes? So that's an impossible and flawed plan and it just won't do as it falls short! We are restored to Him by His righteousness, for we have none of our own that is worthy! It's by His mercy and grace alone, isn't it, which begs the question: how does this fit with passing tests? If it's not by my works and me getting it right, then where does 'passing the tests' fit in? If I can't advance until I 'pass' a test, where does that leave matters of God's grace? How do all these things fit together? Where does 'passing tests' intercept matters of your righteousness, faith, mercy and grace? Show me how Father. How do all these things fit together? How does passing tests relate to grace, faith, mercy and your righteousness?

Beloved, help us understand your mysteries. Help us lean more into you as you seek to instruct us in the way to go.

Hebrew 4:12 - The word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

2 Timothy 2:15 - Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that need not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Psalm 49:3-4 - My mouth will impart wisdom, and the meditation of my heart will bring understanding. I will incline my ear to a proverb; I will express my riddle with the harp.

Job 12:22 - He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings utter darkness into the light.

Daniel 2:22 - He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.

Proverbs 25:2 - It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.

Romans 11:33 - O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

Galatians 5:16 - Walk by the Spirit to not gratify the desires of the flesh.

~ Esme in Connecticut
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