♕ Today's Promise: "But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4
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MY MOUNTAIN HAS BEEN MOVED!!!
This weekend our son, wanted to bring a female friend along. FH (former husband) and I have always talked to the boys and wanted them to wait on having any girlfriends so young.
He asked his Dad if he could bring her along with them on Sunday. He said yes. Which is way different than the talk we had together with his older brother just last year about waiting to have a girlfriend. I messaged FH and let him know that he also asked me to take her with us on Saturday. They have been spending a lot of time together already but if he decides to allow it then I will follow his decision and also allow it. FH decided no.
Later there was miscommunication. He was still going to allow him to take her when I thought his decision was not to. I had our son call him to clarify. FH (former husband) got very mad at me that night. FH has always asked me to include him so we can decide together, but it wasn’t going well. I felt I made a mistake by contacting him in the first place but I knew that My Love can fix anything. Instead of worrying about it like I used to when he got mad at me, I just gave it to My Love to handle.
FH (former husband) called me the next morning wanting to talk. I reminded myself to just listen and be a quiet and gentle spirit. I didn’t feel I needed to defend myself and didn’t have any anxiety. He talked and gave me an opportunity to speak too. I apologized for the call that my son made and the confusion that we had in front of him, even though my intentions were to be on the same page it didn’t go that way so I was sorry for that.
That day at our son’s sporting event there was no tension. I actually felt we made amends. Unlike arguments we had during the marriage, this was very different.
The next day he called and asked me about my finances. Again, I didn’t feel any tension between us. I felt like I could be honest. I used to feel hesitant out of fear because he would be angry, critical, harsh with his words and demanding. But I felt protected by My HH (Heavenly Husband), what can mere mortals do to me.
He was not unpleasant, he was actually concerned and trying to be helpful. He was a little critical but his tone was of concern, not scolding. I did not play the victim roll. I did not ask for his help or try to make him feel guilty or sorry for me, like I had a habit of doing with him in the past. I had actually told him that I’m getting things situated, we are good, that’s all that matters and that was more important than finances. The next morning again he called trying to give me suggestions to help me with some repairs in my home.
After that initial miscommunication about parenting our son, our communication has been restored and increased. What the enemy meant for evil God uses it for good!!
"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…….. " Genesis 50:20
The BEST thing is usually when I do have contact with FH (former husband) I find myself backsliding, being unfaithful to My True Love, letting FH become first in my thoughts again. But this time I don’t feel that!!! I feel like MY MOUNTAIN HAS MOVED!!! FINALLY SET FREE!!! \o/
My Love is still first in my heart AND in my mind, truly and completely. He is still ALL I want, ALL I need and ALL I live for, and ALL I think about! I know I’ve said this before but it just keeps increasing. I did nothing to make this change it was all My HH (Heavenly Husband). I just keep loving and praising Him with all my heart and it kept increasing. I feel like I am truly and completely His, FINALLY!!
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
Things have been more difficult lately. Everything is breaking, I’m short of money to pay the bills and physically I’m struggling. But I praise God for it all, I know He has a reason and His Will is being done for me.
This mountain being moved, being able to TRULY LET GO and faithfully belonging to My HH, heart, mind, body and soul, is all worth it!!! I have wanted this for so long and I know it will keep increasing.
Thank You My Love!! I will endure any suffering or trials just to belong to You!! Getting restored or getting along with FH isn’t first to me. It doesn’t take my eyes off of You!! You are the ONLY thing that matters to me now!! I have felt this for so long but it continues to go deeper and deeper. I only want to be submissive and respectful as unto You. I do it for You and not for anyone else, not for blessings or restoration, only to please You and show my love to You!! I feel so much more closer to you when I am a gentle and quiet spirit, respectful and agreeable, and that’s all I want is to be closer to you and precious in Your sight.
"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4
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