Church was always part of my life, both as a child and as a married woman and mother. It was often stressful--hurrying to get dressed in an acceptable way, fussing over 5 children and trying to get them in a car looking "perfect" enough for the church body. I was often so exhausted and preoccupied with containing children that I truly couldn't worship. Once my FH left (my children were all grown and married or in college), I felt uncomfortable at local churches. I always knew someone, and they would ask about my FH, then--if I could get the words out--I would be the recipient of much contradictory advice. So, I began to stay home on Sundays, and that became a beautiful thing.
Having been a mom of five and used to a house full of busyness, at first I was uncomfortable in the quiet, and I felt very alone. Yet, from time with Him, I remembered how alone I could feel when surrounded by many, and I realize how NOT alone I now feel, with my Heavenly Love at my side.
I was FREE to speak with my HH. I read His word, sang along with my music. Often, I was led to go for a walk in the botanical gardens or a local park. I would recite memory Psalms, using my phone as my index cards. When exhausted, I even stayed in my bed, reading my Bible and listening to Him. I truly felt His presence--and the comfort of His presence.
The “turning point” for me actually ENJOYING these times with Him was that I had to be humbled first and come to the realization that all my exhausting WORK was not going to hold the world together. I always felt responsible for everyone. I thought I was supposed to be exhausted, dragging my load. It was foolishness to try to do it myself. I was foolish enough to think our HH admired my hard work. 🙁 Instead, it was when I put down the load and acknowledged that HE is in charge and that He longs to carry our burdens...
Sundays can differ for me. Sometimes, I am visiting adult children, so I go along with them to their churches. I help with my grandkids and enjoy my time with other believers, but I am eager to be back spending time alone with my HH. Sometimes, He wakes me early and I am led to drive some distance to a beautiful place. Sometimes I sleep later and just spend a quiet time at home. I allow Him to send things my way, and I realize that He has plans for me, so I go with what comes my way.
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
Dear Radiant Bride, the more time you spend with Him, the more peace and joy you will feel and the more your face will GLOW.
Watch for more How I Spent My Sundays and other brides who have amazing testimonies of how they let go of attending church on the first Sunday of each month—adding to these:
Spiritual Milestone #4: Letting Go of Your Church ★★★★★ Testimonies
Spiritual Milestone #5 Fellowship with HH - How I Spend My Sundays ★★★★★ Testimonies