I Was So Much More

♕ Today's Promise: "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

~ Ruby in California

☊ PRAISE Audio

Wow! I’m so surprised by this weekend. My Love continues to show me so much love in so many different ways.

First, there was a wedding on my former in-laws side of the family. I was invited, as I usually am to all their family events still. I sent RSVP for me to be there. This week, as the date came closer, every time I read my Bible, in the morning and throughout the day, I got this feeling that I would not and should not go. Any other time, thinking in the flesh, I didn’t see a reason for me not to go. I already reserved, I love and wanted to see my former in-laws, I wanted to spend time with them, have a good time and I was invited. But again every time I sat down to spend time with My Love I felt strongly Him telling me not to go.

FH (former husband) even tried to find a sitter for the girls. I didn’t know how to say I’m not going after all. Everyone thought I was. I finally told my boys I was not going and I would stay home with the girls. Then I told FH the same. I usually would’ve been so sad to miss out on the event and the fun but I was totally happy not going. It meant more to me to be obedient to My Love even if I didn’t know His reason. I had a very nice evening at home with my 2 little girls and My HH (Heavenly Husband). I loved it. I’m so happy that I have let go of everything including family and My True Love is truly first in my life. The feelings I had surprised myself.

The next night we had another wedding to go to for my niece on my side of the family. It was a great night. Some of my nieces and nephews, my brothers kids, had a talk with me. This brother has struggled in life, has been distant from the family off and on and kept his children distant from us also. Three of his kids, young adults now, told me that they were excited to see me.

One nephew said he really wanted his new girlfriend to meet me. He started to cry and said that even though we have had a lot of years apart that he has always felt that I have shown them so much love. He said every time he sees me I always have a big smile, open arms and full of so much love for them. He said I was just full of so much hope and that’s what he felt when he was around me. The others agreed and they all said I have always been their favorite Aunt. They said look at this, you have a grown man crying here, pouring out his heart to you.

They all were crying, hugging me and wouldn’t let go. When they let go they would grab me again and hold on tight. I could just feel that they didn’t want the feeling to end and they couldn’t get enough. I felt so surprised and honored. Wow! I didn’t know this. I knew some of the other nieces and nephews that I do see often have said that they feel I was a kind, silly, fun Aunt that made them smile, feel happy and laugh. But to these children, now adults, that I didn’t see as often, grew up in stressful/abusive situations and lacked love all their lives, I saw how much this meant to them their whole childhood.

I am in awe for a couple of reasons. First, of course, hearing these strong feelings about me was a pleasant surprise. I was shocked when I heard them say I was full of and gave them hope! My HH (Heavenly Husband) shows me that I’m not a bad person. Yes, I have been a terrible wife in the past for lack of knowledge but I was so much more than just that. I gave love and hope to those who needed it most. He was able to use me to reach the heart of others when I didn’t even know it at the time.

Second, I realize that I know exactly how they feel. I feel the same way about My True Love. I have been a grown woman crying, pouring out my heart, grabbing on to Him, not wanting to let go. I can’t get enough of Him.

Thank You, My Love, for continually showing me Your love, using me to show your unconditional love and hope to others. It was not me they felt, it was You. The hope and love they feel is not from me, it is from You. You are love, hope and peace. You’re all these things and more.

They said they wanted me to know all this, they felt they had to tell me but I know it was You telling me. Showing me what You did through me, in my past when I thought I was a terrible person.

The way they cling to me is the way I cling to you. That’s how I know it is truly You they feel. Thank you for choosing me and using me as your vessel while I was still a sinner.

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners,……." Romans 5:8

"And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:5

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

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