It Crushed My Soul

♕ Today's Promise: "All my enemies will be ashamed and greatly dismayed; They shall turn back, they will suddenly be ashamed". Psalm 6:10  

☊ PR Audio

I want to praise God for what he is doing to restore my relationship. My partner of 10yrs, 3 weeks ago walked away and told me he has been talking to someone else and didn't have the energy to fix us. We have been through so many hard times but this I couldn't comprehend. It crushed my soul. Yes we had been having problems but never would I think that would happen. But I know now that is the only way for God to have broken me to bring me back to him.

I will say he still said he loved me, I was his best friend and thought I was beautiful. Which by the way is confusing even more. But that night crying on the floor decided I was not giving up. I searched everything I could to find how to fix it. Then came across Erin book How God can and will Restore your Marriage. I got it read it and everything made sense.

I was contentious to the core! My partner he told me these things plenty of times but I never wanted to hear it. I just focused on his issues and problems. So I started to apply the book. Just in last 3 week's God is so Good!!!! I told my partner 2 weeks ago I was letting him go that I was not going to stand in his was. See he still comes by our home every evening to get clothes to take out there. Which kills my knowing he is walking away to her. But through God's great presence and the the book I make it through.

Then when my partner and I cross paths he ask where I'm going, am I dating anyone, he has still told me he loves me, wants me but is confused! While it's confusing and hard to hear I caused this. I didn't meet his emotional needs and someone stepped in and did. I truly believe he does love me and wants me but knowing how I was is scared of that. He has noticed changes and actually got frustrated and was like why did you wait so long to change. I just listened and agreed.

The most recent is that my partner came to me saying he thinks he is going to leave our home to move into his sisters where the OW (other woman) lives. Every interaction I have with him I show and speak with nothing but love and kindness as the Lord would and just listen. Something I didn't do. I told him ok and I would turn in our lease termination for the 60day notice the next morning. Then he was like we'll wait another month. So I asked why and he was like cause this whole thing scares me. Mind you I pray, pray, pray to God and ask him for everything. I don't reach out to text or call unless it is absolutely necessary. I try to stay gone when he is at the house getting clothes. So then with God's great glory I started packing and my partner came in and was like you find a place already. I was like not just getting ready for it so it won't be as hard on me.

Then the next morning I am up praying and Psalm 6 comes to me verse 10 exactly. Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled, Let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly. I prayed that all morning in the car going to work did not stop. Then at work I get a text from my partner saying don't text back thinking out loud it says I think I want to come home I'm insecure and paranoid and don't know if it's me. I almost fell to my knees i went to the bathroom praised God. Now we still have not spoke and Idk what it holds but God hears you he is so great just show faith in him and believe.

The devil is always trying to overcome you he did me that morning and I stood up to him and asked god to show me a sign for good!! What do you call that. I still don't know what is going to happen he may still move but either way God showed me just keep the path all will come here is your sign for good the thought of coming home is there. Stay the course ladies!

~ Ashley in Kansas
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