Mentally Incapacitated to Fulfill my Role as a Wife?

He is so faithful! My HH “Heavenly Husband” had blessed my family by having my baby dedicated yesterday! Preparations were done only in a short span of time but it turned out well! I admit I feared for that day because of the awkwardness it will make others feel about my EH “earthly husband” current situation with me but He is faithful. Although it was not perfect, the day turned out great and what’s important is that our son is finally dedicated. PTL “praise the Lord”!

Also, many things that I have been praying for were revealed to me that day the same time the enemy is trying to steal the peace my HH is sustaining me. When my EH had invited our friends over for a drink, some of my well-meaning friends cornered him and asked him about our current status and all he can say was that He and the OW “other woman’s” relationship is getting much stronger each day, it would have broken me so much if I didn’t put my whole faith in my Beloved but my EH also revealed to them how much he appreciates me taking care of our son and that he noticed that I turned out to be a different person than I was before. He told them I never did ask him for anything or obliged him with his responsibilities with our son and that causes him to offer his help voluntarily, all of which I learned from this ministry.

During their conversation which I can’t help but overhear since we are on the same table, one of his friends then revealed to me how much confusion my EH is going through right now. He admitted although he was very private about their relationship, that the OW is slowly turning bitter because she always demands time from him whenever my EH is with my son, that he commits white lies to her just to avoid confrontation and that his current state is worse than his state before when we are still together. He told them how strong he thinks of me because of my faith which in truth is actually the Lord guiding me, not because of what I do for Him. That my outward appearance is very pleasant and that I am glowing. PTL! He also told them and my friends that although he has sought many lawyers regarding our annulment, he is still hesitant because he doesn’t want to commit another mistake again and that he didn’t want to accuse me because the only ground for filing is by rendering me as mentally incapacitated to fulfill my role as a wife to him, and he didn’t want to do that to me, PTL again!

He is so faithful even though I failed him many many times, and all these happened at the same time our dog passed away. My mourning had caused me to be drinking way too much but thankfully my Beloved didn’t let me act unbecomingly. This event had cause to have him care for me instead.

I woke up with a heavy head, aching tummy and a feeling I don’t want to feel again for this is the first time I drank too much and I asked for forgiveness from my Beloved if I didn’t act the way his Bride is supposed to do. He assured me then that the aftermath of what I did is sure enough not to let me repeat what I had done the other night! My PR shows how much mistakes I commit but my Love is still holding me up.

I only pray for Him to show me that there is trouble in paradise because I only see happiness in my EH and when I found out about his plans of filing for annulment, may He reveal to me the truth. I also prayed to him to reveal to me if I am not being a good mother to my son as my EH is always mocking me and He is ever faithful.

He will always be faithful to us even if we turn our backs, ignore him and fail him again and again for He knows our sins even before we made them and He died while we are still sinners. I asked Him to let me just love him, makeup to him, and give him all the glory and honor he deserves because that is what I can only do for him as the lover of my soul.

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”.

~ Cherie in Manila

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