I want to thank God because He always offers direction, if we remain in his path, trusting in Him. Last week I was asking Him if there is something else I should be doing more in this journey we are having together. Maybe because for me things were too flat, nothing happening, no movement in front, or behind. I opened the devotional of the next day October 7th, just to read this verse :
Isaiah 50:10 “Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God”. With further explanation :
"A darkness not of the heart but of the mind? a darkness of perplexities and confusion— They come as seasons when he does not know what to do or which way to turn. What should you do in times of darkness? Listen to God’s Word: “Let him... trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God." Actually, the first thing to do is nothing. This is a difficult thing for our lowly human nature to do. There is a saying, “When you’re rattled, don’t rush." In other words, “When you are confused and do not know what to do, do nothing."
That was really my state at that time : confusion. Some days after that, I sent a text to my EH “earthly husband”, asking him if we could let a young girl pregnant and without a home and work at the time live in our home for some weeks since we have a free room. After some days, he responded by saying he doesn't want me to ask for his opinion about anything I want to do, because we are supposed to be clear enough concerning our situation which is living like roommates, but I should be ready to bear the consequences of my actions and other accusations...
Knowing that before we reached this situation he was sort of without saying it accusing me of dirtying his reputation…etc. Now there was another accusation. It made me sad, but I answered by apologizing that he is right I am a bad spouse, unsubmitted, rebellious, and apologized for all my bad attitudes and that I understand that he wants a separation, but please I don't want to be the one to take care of it.
Matthew 5:25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.
For the first time I think; there was no answer back or accusations again. At the beginning it was a bit difficult to send the text because the accusations hurt me. I prayed during my break time and did it, I felt such a peace, and since then I am just so happy to obey.
Deuteronomy 5:33 Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.
I'm also grateful to the Lord, because He answered me and showed me how to react, and made me able to do it. Obedience produces peace and joy, we should not hesitate to do what the Lord tells us to do. If it is difficult we can ask Him for His help and the good heart to obey, He really turns our heart wherever He want.
Proverbs 21:1 The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.
Psalm 126:5 Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.