Dear radiant bride. It's difficult to break free from tradition and rituals. Coming from a Catholic family that attended church each morning before school and also Sundays, I fully understand. Yet, if you can ignore the concern of others and let go of your reputation, and simply flow in His love, I promise it will be one of the most life-changing experiences of your life. Don't rely on you doing it, just keep asking and following His lead.
It was years ago when I just sensed that He didn't want me to go into church, but instead just drop my children off so they could attend their weekly Sunday school classes. If felt strange but after following His lead in everything, for so long, I knew what I sensed. That morning we simply went for a drive. I sang love songs with Him and the time past quickly. Each Sunday was different, and I just couldn't wait to see where He would take me next.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths” (Prov. 3:5–6 KJV).
Yes. At first, my children were worried, but I knew I would have felt/thought the same way had one of them stopped attending. I assured them this was to get closer, find a more intimate relationship with Him, which they understood. When I applied the principle of 1 Pet. 3:7 about an "understanding way" I put myself in their place and understood. Then I let go and gave it to Him as their Father, knowing only HE could help assure them and help them make sense of it. And of course, He did until they were convinced that WE are the church, not the building they attend or don't attend.
Now, years later, I have seen just about all of my children stop attending like they once did, while at the same time reflecting a deeper more assured relationship with Him. If they do attend, it's for the fellowship, but each knows that it's their time spent alone with Him that develops the deepest of intimacies.
The turning point was just listening and doing what I knew He wanted me to do. The truth is I loved attending church, I enjoyed every aspect of it. But I believe the turning point is when I was invited to attend an event at church. I hesitated at first, but then in agreement, went. It was during the praise and worship that I realized I couldn't "feel" Him at all. Nothing close to when I would go on a drive or just sit having coffee. I began to panic and whispered in my heart "Are You here?" I heard Him whisper back "I'm right here" and went on to share that the way I felt was the way most of the people worshipping felt too.
I also find that Sundays are not enough, most of my afternoons are just the two of us, and of course when I get into bed at night and when I wake up. All my life I'd jump out of bed the moment my eyes opened, but now I just talk and listen to my HH “Heavenly Husband”, sometimes for a full hour. Even my morning with coffee is with Him. My phone is off, He might lead me to one of our love songs, and it's just the best way to wake up to start the day!
My HH and I have done just about everything on a Sunday. At first, we would go out, primarily because I'd drop my children off so I was already out. Now my Sundays are simply a glorious day to rest and be pampered. He always suggests a special pastry with my coffee, maybe a soak in a hot bath, and often time to just read a novel or watch an old movie. It just feels like I'm nuzzling close to Him and it's wonderful!