♕ Today's Promise: “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him.” Psalm 62:1
☊ PR Podcast Maria
Most of the times I've sent a PR, I'm probably at wits end and no longer know what to do with how my mind is working, at the moment. It's a matter of mindset and a heart condition, to whom does my heart belong? Submitting a PR is a wonderful tool to correct my thinking and be reminded of the immense grace and mercy I have received from Someone who loves me and longs for me to love Him.
What's amazing is that I read my own PR or journal posted on the website. The Ministry post it when I need some encouraging, it just so happens at a time I need it the most which shows me that I am not alone in this journey. They're being lead to help me, see how amazing God works. We encourage each other to continue in this journey of restoration, restoring our hearts to Him, the One whose love for us is endless and unending. Our words impact others, but it's also a reminder to us, as it impacts us differently when we write it and when we read it. We encourage ourselves, too.
I have learned to give God praise especially in the midst of a storm, when nothing is going my way, when things are at odds, in conflict, through pain and confusion. Giving God praise is easy when things have been comfortable for a while. But when one has been walking on egg shells or shattered glass, it takes a lot of brokenness to be molded into a person who is content in nothingness and suffering.
The pain and suffering is a setup for the glory that is to come, His glory. Our experiences ought to be shared to like-minded ladies who are just as hungry for His word. I love my Beloved for leading me to people who think this way. All these were in the Bible and I've never learned this until I was going through it. Praise is embodied in submitting journals and PR. I cannot withhold sharing about how He works because others may need to know it too, even if that others mean me at a later time.
I have decided a little while ago that my lips shall continue to praise God in the good and even when He is silent of His plans. His silence sometimes mean a season of pain, anxiety, or nothingness. So yes, praising Him when I cannot stop crying or worrying. During these times I am reminded to give Him the honor He deserves. I have proven this to be a strong weapon against the lurking shadow of death. I know that when Various Trials hit me, God is still with me. My prayers are my weapon against the enemy, my Beloved is my shield. When I feel troubles coming in, I think of my blessings and share it with others to defeat the enemy.
I was having a lukewarm morning yesterday as I prayed as I have failed to let go of any emotions that are not of God. My EH asked me to go on a vacation with him. I didn't celebrate because I do not trust man in keeping his words. I have learned to trust God and His will for my life and have accepted that it will happen when it pleases Him. We don't have a living child and I ask God to bless my womb, if it pleases Him. I have said that I have stopped praying for a child because it's not fair to bring one in a broken family. Yesterday, a journal of mine was published, with a note from the Ministry that it's not fair to NOT bring a child into this world. My God is a God of impossible things. God can do it. I do not need to worry because my child/ren will have a Father. So today, I continue my prayer for God to open my womb and let me bear and rear my own children, and for contentment if it does not happen yet.
I know I am not the only one who face this struggle and I ask you to read the Ministry's note from the encourager blog Felt Like the Odds Are Against Me. I remind you to also share your experiences, thoughts and prayers via journals and PRs to continue encouraging like-minded women, including yourself, as we lift each other up to our Beloved.
"When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset." Exodus 17:12
This is the truth that we can never really be alone. We seek God on our own and build an intimate relationship with our Beloved. But we share our experiences with like-minded women who wants the same things we want/have found. Through these experiences our faith is validated and we are lifted up to God, we see God do it again and again for each of us, when He moves mountains for each of us, we rest in His faithfulness and confidence in His heart.