♕ Today's Promise: “You will not fear bad news; your heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Psalms 112: 7
Camille, how did your restoration actually begin?
It began when my husband came home on a Monday after work and told me that we needed to talk. He said that he was not happy and that he thought it was better for us to be separated. While he was telling me that, he was crying, which surprised me because in the nine years we have been together I have seen him cry only twice. I didn't know what to say to him, because he had already left me more than once before, so I knew this time was different.
The first time my husband left after I'd told him that I no longer knew if I loved him. He was hurt by what I said, so he packed a bag and left. The next time he left I'd told him to get out during a fight but of course, it wasn't long before I regretted it and asked him to come back. He was gone a total of three weeks before he came back home.
The third time this happened, the final time, was when we were having another argument when I told him to "just leave." This time when I asked him to come back, he came back right away but I noticed he was really distant and cold with me. So I asked him what was going on because he was already showing signs of something that was very wrong. He didn’t say anything, so I demanded to know why he didn't turn his cell phone on at home anymore, he didn't let me get his cell phone, and also why he changed his password on his phone. Then I told him I noticed I no longer had access to his social network, that the password had been changed. And that's when he told me that he wanted to separate, and this time he made it a point of telling me that he thought he no longer loved me. I cried, begged, literally crawled to make him reconsider but there was no way he wanted anything to do with me and he simply left.
It was then that I started to seek God, but without much understanding of how. It was the first time that I really approached God in my life.
How did God change your situation, Camille, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
Dear brides, I'm hoping to share my testimony with you and give you as many details as I can in order to encourage you because the testimonies that are full of details have helped me too. However, it is not my desire to expose my husband's sins, so I promise that I will soon tell you how bad a wife I was. I want you to know what you read here at RMI, where it says that even if your husband comes home that he won't stay for long is true! If God is not with you or if there is no transformation that's what will happen to you. BELIEVE ME he’ll leave again and again and again because I lived it!
I knew what I had to do this time. I knew there was only one way to change the way I was and it began when I was looking for God! Not knowing what to do, I went to my local church and talked to my pastor's wife (a sweet woman, who did her best to help me when all I could do was cry). So I basically found an ePartner during the first days of the destruction, but I needed more. I needed to know whether or not God was going to restore my marriage. I doubted He would because I heard from everyone "perhaps God was preparing a better man for me" so my emotions and thoughts were divided. Should I pray for the restoration of my marriage or pray for a new husband who is better suited for me? In the midst of my despair, I prayed to God and asked. I begged Him to show me because I wanted the restoration of my marriage, but I needed to know if God wanted it too.
By this time, my husband had already been gone for two months and the pain was killing me. It was then, in answer to prayer, that I discovered RMI. A kind woman from another state, who I didn't even know saw my prayer request and sent me a message with the HopeAtLast.com link and Chapter 1 of the book, How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage! I couldn't believe it when I read that message, God answered me, Hallelujah! He did hear me when I prayed and He was confirming what He wanted for me. He wanted to restore my marriage: He was very clear!
Immediately, I started reading the book, then I devoured everything that was on the website. I began working through the courses, journaling every step I took on my journey and started submitting praise reports of my own. My mind and heart were being transformed and from that moment on I knew there was hope!
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Camille, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I absorbed as much as I could and will continue to absorb for as long as I live. I first learned how much of a contentious woman that I was. When I read that title, A Contentious Woman, in one of the early chapters of the book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage," I thought proudly, "Well, this chapter is not meant for me, I am not quarrelsome or anything close." Oh, how wrong I was.
As I read the book, God convinced me that it was His will to restore my marriage. And that it was He who removed my husband so that I would totally turn to God. I learned to seek the love of my Heavenly Husband. I'd never heard of this before, but I wanted it to help stop the pain. It is almost impossible to believe that I could be His Bride and experience this kind of love so many testimonies talked about.
But above all, God showed me how wrong I was and what a wretched wife I was to my husband. I never let my husband be the head of my house, everything had to be my way. I felt superior to him because I had no addictions (alcohol, drugs, etc.) and also because I have a higher education and he only just finished high school. I believed myself to be the one who knew more and actually believed he was lucky to have me. The more I read the book, the more God convicted me and showed me everything, absolutely everything wrong that I had done over the nine years we have been together as a couple. That's when I stopped looking at my husband's shortcoming and I knew I needed to change. It all depended on my relationship with my HH.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Camille?
The most difficult time for me was the very beginning when I found out that my EH was with an OW. A deep piercing pain entered my chest and remained there until I was truly my HH's Bride. Back then, I walked around the house because I couldn't sit still. I hated the weekends because I was alone at home (since we don't have any children). However, when I found RMI, I started to love staying at home alone. I had time to be with my Beloved HH. But the weekends that were horrible happened in the first two months, which later became wonderful, all due to the time I spent with my HH.
Another difficult moment, but one that God prepared me for (because when we entrust everything to God He prepares us for upcoming storms), was when my EH told me through a text message that he was pretty sure that OW was pregnant. I was at my job, so I grabbed my 3x5 cards from my desk where I had written down the Word of God and I went to the bathroom and began reading them. I got to Psalms 112: 7, “You will not fear bad news; your heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” When I got home later that day, I searched the Bible on the internet for words about children and conception and God gave me the promise, Hosea 9:11 "As for Ephraim, their glory will fly away like a bird— No birth, no pregnancy and no conception!“ I added it to pile my 3x5 cards and clung to that promise and prayed it over and over and God honored it, the OW was not pregnant. Hallelujah!
Camille, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
When I finally learned to let my EH go. It took time for me to learn this principle. But I started asking God to help me forget my EH. I asked God to make my HH be the love of my life, to be my First Love as described in His Word.
So I didn't expect my EH to be back even though we were talking almost every day, as it still seemed that everything was going wonderfully with OW. Yet I was sure that God would restore my marriage but I didn't know it would happen so fast and come out of nowhere!
We've all heard that "God answers all of our prayers" and this is so true! At the beginning of my journey, I prayed and asked God to restore my marriage as quickly as possible. I even prayed and asked Him to restore before the end of the year, because I did not want to spend Christmas and New Year, away from my EH. But I began to get excited to spend the holidays and the New Year alone with the Lord. When I told Him “let it be done according to His will” He granted my heart's desire! I spent time alone with my HH and then God also knew I was ready for Him to restore my marriage and for my EH to return home.
Tell us HOW it happened, Camille? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Camille, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
On a Wednesday night, just after the first of the year, my EH sent me a message asking if he could come home. I, immediately texted back, "Yes, of course." However, after I agreed, the question arose in my heart if I really wanted him back. I was so close to my HH, my life was perfect. But I knew that telling him not to come wasn't His plan. Knowing too, how things were never good when he came back before, made me question if this was a good or a bad thing. Once I spoke to my HH, I knew that everything would be okay because this time it was different from the other times, this time it was God who brought my EH home and not me!
I simply had a great certainty in my heart that the Lord had great plans for me and my EH. But no, it was not easy, as in the lessons and testimonies I read said happens. I am so thankful I had enough time to get through all the courses so I could be prepared to welcome my EH home and weather the storms after he returned.
When he came in he didn't ask me for forgiveness nor did he say he loved me or anything. There was nothing romantic whatsoever. he simply said that he and the OW were fighting a lot (in the lessons, Erin says that even though the other side seems like a paradise this is not true, sin never brings happiness) and that he decided it would be better to be with me than her. Immediately, I remembered it says exactly that. from the prayer I'd prayed from the RYM book!
“Therefore I will hedge up his way with thorns, and I will build a wall against him so that he cannot find his paths. And he will pursue his lovers, but will not overtake them; and he will seek them, but will not find them. Then he will say, ‘I will go back to my wife. For it was better for me then than now!’ Therefore I will allure him, bring him into the wilderness, and speak kindly to him. For I will remove the names of Baals from his mouth. Then the Lord said to me, ‘Go again, love a (man) yet an adulterer.’” From Hosea 2.
So I again, I knew it was God, and simply didn't bother him. I just let him say what he wanted to share, while I made sure I was responding with my new gentle and quiet spirit. I took this time to fall in love with my HH again and chose to get away to be alone with Him. Not hovering around my EH but in a way looking disinterested ultimately led to my husband pursuing me. Now he's romantic and kind with me again.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Camille?
I recommend ALL the materials. I tell everyone just read the book, How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, because every married woman should read it. Share it with people because this gives everyone a lot of hope and to be able to recognize God's will for their lives. It also shows you how wrong you are, the way you are living now. A Wise Woman really helped me a lot in this area of my life. I also recommend the courses, many of the questions you have will be answered and it will all begin to make sense. I recommend all of Erin's Be Encouraged eVideos, they are wonderful and will show the steps taken by this wise sister who gave up her life to help you.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Camille?
Yes, I'd love to!
Either way, Camille, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
When I read in the other testimonies "do not give up" my heart was filled with joy! Oh, how many times I cried when reading testimonies of restoration and them ending with "do not give up." Today, for the Glory of God I am here saying the same thing to all of you, dear brides. Will God restore your marriage? Yes, oh yes! As difficult and as impossible as it may seem, God will do it! But it depends exclusively on you, it is all about your relationship with God, then finding your HH and trusting Him with everything. He knows bringing your husband back will just mean he will go again and again and again. But with the way He wants to transform you along your journey, that's when He knows your ready and He is able to grant you your heart's desire— just as He did with me!
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.