RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “I Believed I Was the One Walking Rightly”

♕Today's Promise: “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Rasa, how did your restoration journey actually begin?

I would say it began shortly after we married. I was very lost in terms of what exactly a godly wife was called to. I was living from a place of pride and fear of getting hurt. My past life before the Lord was filled with many traumatic events, and my Beloved had so much healing to bring me through. I had been a believer for ten years when I met Aaron, but a very shallow believer. He was a believer as well, and we married after dating for a very short couple of months.

I was very manipulative, contentious, fearful, rebellious etc. All the while believing I was the one walking rightly. It was all "his stuff" he needed to work on. He struggled with certain things that caused a lot of issues in our marriage, I don't want to go into any details, but it was painful, for him and me both. The enemy was coming against our family brutally.

Rasa, how did God change your situation as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

After five or six years of me being self-righteous, kicking my husband out, "allowing" him to come with stipulations and rules to prove himself, then being so overcome with fear and hurts, I would become contentious and crazy once again. Pushing Aaron away. The Lord would convict me heavily while Aaron would be away, but I didn't trust my Beloved Lord to help me when Aaron came home. Finally, Aaron had enough, wanted us both to be happy, and free, so he left me and got a new woman. He was planning a life with her. Meanwhile, I had two young children, alone, I was a stay-at-home mom for years, and I absolutely broke. I turned my social media off, didn't text or call anyone. I got my Bible out and I started writing every verse that encouraged me and spoke deeply to me. I studied, I began to pray, on my knees. I gave the Lord my everything during that time. I remember turning on worship music, feeling absolutely crushed and broken, and would sing those songs, sobbing, turning the songs into a prayer, an agreement. I began singing praises to my Beloved no matter how bleak the situation looked. Then, He began filling me with this deep hope, this deep knowing, a profound understanding that He loved me, that He was more than enough, He had the power to move these huge mountains in my life. I felt free for the first time in my life. I had many people tell me that my face was shining, I looked radiant! Wow, only HE can do something like that during a trial like that.

Rasa, what were the most difficult times that God helped you through?

When I found out Aaron was seeing another woman, that I personally knew. When he moved her into our family home and I moved out. She was now the "stepmom girlfriend", and I got my kids during certain days. Finding out she was pregnant with his child. That was excruciating and painful. Being asked to fill out the divorce papers was hard but agreeing and not trying to convince Aaron to argue with him was a blessing. And all the things my Beloved had done for me since I found this ministry, caused me to remember to turn back to Him. My heart was crushed, but as I cried out to my Beloved Lord and praised Him in the midst of it all, He caused me to feel like I was soaring above all the pain. I used to distract myself through exercise, alcohol, shopping etc, avoid the pain and the problems. But actually, bringing it all to Him, sitting in those feelings, and knowing that He brings a balm to the painful wounds, is so much sweeter.

My Beloved led me to radically ask for nothing from Aaron. That meant not asking for visitation time at my house, for money, for my things out of my house, other than my clothes. But in the end, He used it all for my good. He showed me that HE moves the heart of Aaron and He can and WILL put it on Aaron's heart to give me money and my children on certain days. I was amazed because I never knew my Beloved Lord like this before. He would do all that for me? My children? I was homeless and the Lord brought me a new home, without me asking anyone! My car broke down, and I didn't ask for help at all, and the Lord put it on someone's heart to gift me a beautiful car. He brought my children back to me FULL time and had me let my full-time job go and made a way for us to live simply and abundantly.

Rasa, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

I know that when I began to finally have joy again. My Love showed me that He was all my heart had ever truly longed for. He is peace, He is love and with Him I could love beautifully and abundantly NOW. Not waiting for anyone to come. Learning how loved I am by Him. He showed me many lies I had been believing about Him and myself. Religious mind sets and shame in exchange for His freedom. Wow. Finding the Abundant Life!

Tell us HOW it happened Rasa? Did Aaron just walk in the front door? Did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

Well, Aaron was actually in prison when he wrote to me and asked if I would be willing to try again. Asked for forgiveness and told me of the life he dreamed of having with me and the children. I could tell it was coming though. I had so much peace about being alone with the Lord, and that attracted my husband a lot.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial, Rasa? Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you?

I cannot even put in words how much every principle and lesson in these resources radically transformed my life. I recommend every single book and lesson. Letting go, asking for nothing, praise in all circumstances, taking eyes of the natural realm, not letting the enemy steal our praise, shutting my lips, a gentle and quiet spirit, not fighting in the natural at all! Getting in the word, intimacy with HIM, getting rid of that poverty mindset. Blessing others with time and money. Tithing.

There were times when I would read the marriage restoration testimonies and become discouraged. But I knew if I felt that way, I needed to get back alone with Him, confess that and break agreement with the lie that it would t happen for me. I learned that no matter how I FEEL I go to Him. I praise Him. I pray. I submit to his ways. I tell Him how I feel. Radical honesty.

Rasa, do you have a favorite Bible passage that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?

"The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Either way, Rasa, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Precious sister, the season you're in right now may be the hardest you'll ever face. But there is hope, there is a new season coming. He is gently guiding you, holding you in his hands. He will never ever leave you or forsake you. His love for you is so deep and rich and unbelievably beautiful. Keep your mind stayed on the Lord. I declare In the Lord's name, that you are an overcomer by the blood of the Lord, you have all that you need to go from glory to glory and that you will soar on wings of eagles and rest in the shadow of His wings.