RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “I Grew Up Believing I Was Not Good Enough”

RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “I Grew Up Believing I Was Not Good Enough”

Today's Promise: “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance... and everlasting joy will be yours.”

How the Journey Began

My restoration journey began last May. After 11 years of marriage, my husband, Caleb, wanted to leave due to my contentious and insecure behavior.

Looking back, I realized I grew up believing I wasn’t "good enough." After seeing my father be unfaithful, I spent years seeking love in the wrong places, allowing myself to be used and hurt. Though I gave my life to the Lord at 20 and married Caleb—a man truly on fire for God—my deep-seated insecurities followed me into our marriage. I constantly accused him of cheating, belittling him because I was terrified that his potential unfaithfulness would prove my lack of worth.

Eventually, the weight of my accusations pushed him away. He met someone at work, and believing I was a "mistake," he decided he wanted to leave.

The Turning Point: A Heart Transformed

While searching for hope in my devastation, I found RMI. Reading How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage was a wake-up call. I finally saw my own sin and the role I played in the breakdown of our home.

God began a deep work in me. I stopped the questions and the accusations, and instead, I focused on becoming a Gentle and Quiet Spirit. Most importantly, I found the true Love of my life: my Beloved Lord. I realized that the love I had been desperately seeking from men was only ever going to be found in Him.

Facing the Most Difficult Times

The hardest season was watching Caleb come home late from being with the Other Woman. Our anniversary—which fell on her birthday—was particularly painful because of the visible wall of hate he had built toward me. My heart was shattered, but I leaned entirely on my Beloved to get through those nights.

How Restoration Happened

The "turning point" came when I truly let go and held onto the Lord. Caleb never actually left the house, but as I changed, his "hate wall" began to crumble. He noticed the transformation and told me I had become the most beautiful person he had ever known.

He became kind and gentle again, and our relationship was restored! Even more wonderful: Caleb’s own heart was reignited for the Lord. He now says that seeing our marriage restored is what truly led him back to his faith.

Principles for Other Women

I cannot recommend the Be Encouraged: Video Series and the Psalms & Proverbs resources enough. Learning the principle of "letting go" was vital. If I hadn't seen myself clearly through these resources, I would still be playing the victim instead of falling in love with the Lord.

Favorite Promises

• Psalm: "They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces will never be ashamed."

• Psalm: "Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart."

• Proverbs: "The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes."

My encouragement to you: Wrap yourself in Him. He is the best Lover—faithful, kind, and protective. Once I let go to the point where I didn't even desire restoration more than I desired Him, that is when everything turned around.