RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “I Had an Online Affair”

♕ Today's Promise: Wait on the Lord, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land; When the wicked are cut off, you shall see it.” Psalms 37:34 NKJV

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Elke, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?

I had an online affair with an old friend 20 yrs. into my 2nd marriage. For over two years my tormented husband tried all he could to change things and fix the things that had hurt me over the years, but the devil was happily in control to the point I believed I could have a double life. What I didn't know was, my husband had prayed the hedge of thorns around me and sure enough over time, my "lover fled" but it was not soon enough for my husband. He gave up his fight as the other man fled and began to stay gone on weekends. I went to marriage counseling and was told it can't be done alone. So I searched online to know “how one person could save a marriage” as I returned to God with a broken & contrite heart. Somehow I found Erin in one of those searches over 12 years ago.

How did God change your situation, Elke, as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

He showed me all the bitterness I had. He broke my heart more in regards to divorcing my first husband. I was brought to total repentance. I went to my first child and asked for forgiveness. I asked if she felt I should return to her father but she asked me not to as she didn't want her step brother and sister to have them in the same situation and her children knew only my current husband as Papaw and she didn't want to confuse them. So I called and asked my first husband for forgiveness instead. God sent me angels to my work place. Women who knew His power and had encouragement. I began to see I could go on alone if that was His plan.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Elke, did the Lord teach you during this trial? 

How to wait on Him. Seeing my wrongs (so many of them!). To REPENT, wait...wait some more. Praise God for every circumstance. Give Him my tears. Not to speak of our situation to others, only to God.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Elke?

The fear of failing, the heartbreak of knowing I had no good witness for my husband to trust. Being without human companionship at night or during a blizzard (our children were grown)! Trying to cover for Papaw's absence when he was gone (without bitterness since I was the one to blame).

Elke, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

My husband wanted to leave but he was out of work for winter. And because we lived in my parent’s apartment building, he couldn't tell me to leave. His plan was to go as soon as he had work. He began to separate our finances...different banks for his unemployment and another for my pay. As I prayed God brought RAIN...lots of it! Day after day it didn't stop! Mind you, I was not asking for rain to start..but as I saw what it was allowing to happen,I began to pray for God to use it to give us more time to heal! Depression set in for my earthly husband and God gave me the opportunity to minister to his needs while making it clear I was repentant.

Tell us HOW it happened, Elke? Did your husband just walk in the front door? 

The weather finally broke and he was getting called back to work. In passing I asked if he would consider staying. He said he would think about it. It was 5 months before our 24th wedding anniversary. I took on a second job and offered to help pay any bills to make it easier for him. I stuck to the payments he gave to me and showed I could be trusted (I had ruined our finances in the years of the affair). Our healing was a matter of him trusting me slowly. And I knew this would be the way of it because of my unfaithfulness.

Elke, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? 

During this time, I viewed any indication of positivity coming from my husband “a God stop.” They increased more and more. I praised God constantly. There began to be peace in the days and he just stayed. I refused to let fear of failure haunt me since I knew God's promises and the forgiveness I had learned to walk in. I rebuked the enemy as he tried to bring up my failures.

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Elke?

How God can and will restore your marriage, Wise Woman, By the Word of Their Testimony.

Elke do you have favorite Bible verses that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you, Elke?

“Wait on the Lord, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you shall see it." Psalms 37:34 NKJV 

This verse was very important to me as we had never had our own home—after we were restored, my husband began looking for the home we live in now!

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Elke? 

Yes, by my giving.

Either way, Elke, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

God forgives and heals those who fall before Him and surrender all. If your husband is not a believer, give him completely to God and be willing to wait. Don't quit seeking God and trusting Him.

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