RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “I prayed for something to happen in his heart… and HE did it!”

Ruth, how did your restoration journey truly begin?

My restoration journey began when I was finally able to truly understand, with all my heart, the magnitude of the damage that all my attitudes, decisions, and words had caused. I am the middle of three sisters, and I grew up in a home without my mother. Since childhood, I carried unhealed wounds and the pain of knowing I came from a broken home. Eleven years later, when I was 17 years old, my parents’ marriage was restored, but I was still trapped in the cycle of a dysfunctional home.

In a way, I ran away from home and got married young, at 21 years old. My spouse also came from a broken home. Even though his parents never married, he experienced the absence of a father and had a very difficult childhood and adolescence. Without realizing it, I slowly brought those same patterns and behaviors into my marriage. Every day the situation became more unbearable, and everything began to collapse after we had our son.

I am ashamed to admit the terrible wife I was, but it is necessary for me to share who I used to be so that you can hold in your heart the certainty that nothing is too difficult or impossible for the Lord. I was pharisaical. I always went to church and pretended before others that I was a “saint,” but at home I was a wolf disguised as a sheep. It sounds harsh, but it’s true. I did not reflect love, compassion, or respect for my earthly husband and his God-given authority as head of our home. Instead, I was contentious, angry, proud, arrogant, resentful, loud, hurtful with my words, and many other terrible things. Thank You, beloved Lord, for having compassion on me!

One day while we were at home, my spouse started behaving stranger than usual, and we had absolutely no intimacy. After nine years of marriage, I simply felt that I did not need him or love him anymore. Then I noticed he was acting very differently and often would not come home to sleep, saying he was spending too much money on gas because we lived outside the city. Before I knew it, there was someone else in his life, and I felt my world collapse.

I felt my greatest fears becoming reality, and no, it was not a nightmare—it was truly happening. I remember feeling as though I was dying that day. I tried to make him reconsider, to come to his senses, but nothing seemed to work—not even trying to seduce him. Instead, I ended up even more hurt.

I remember that before leaving me and my son at my parents’ house, my earthly husband told me that he had already warned me that once he made a decision, NO ONE could change his mind, and that only if God wanted it, someday we would be together again. But for him, it was over. He did not love me anymore and wanted me to move on with my life.

When I finally faced reality and saw how my home had been destroyed and that there seemed to be no hope left, I truly hit rock bottom. The only thing I could do was cry out to God in agony. I had grown up in a Christian home, so I knew God existed, but in my agony, all I could do was cry out for help over and over again.

It was then, after nearly three months of brokenness and searching online for help about restored marriages, that He guided me to RMI, where I found the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. That was when my journey truly began, and I came to know the truth that set me free.

2. Ruth, how did God change your situation while you were seeking Him with all your heart?

After being truly broken, I was able to see through the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage how I had been that foolish and contentious woman who destroyed her own home with her own hands. I cried so much—I was truly broken. I even thought I might lose my job because I simply could not stop crying.

At that moment, I was finally able to surrender before Him and ask Him to please save my marriage and give me another chance. It was not easy. There were many moments of sadness, but through it all, my beloved Lord was always there.

During that season of brokenness, which lasted nearly four months, one night I fell asleep after crying so much. Suddenly, I woke up because I felt someone looking at me. When I opened my eyes, I remember seeing someone very, very radiant. I became frightened, and then I saw Him extend His hand toward my heart. I felt something inside me that I had never felt before—something flowing through me—and then it disappeared.

After that, little by little, He began restoring me.

One night while I was making dinner at my parents’ house, these words came to my mind: “For a brief moment I turned My face away from you, but with great compassion I will gather you.” I went to the Bible, and that was when He gave me Isaiah 54. It deeply impacted my heart because it spoke exactly about what I was living through. And when I read that my Maker was my Husband, and that He promised I would no longer remember the shame of my youth, and that He would teach my son and fill him with peace—wow… I remember it, and all I can think about is how great His mercy and His love truly are.

There came a moment in my journey when I understood that it was not about the Lord changing my situation or my surroundings. It was a journey He allowed in order to heal my deepest wounds, to make me more like Him, and to transform my heart through His presence and His love.

3. Ruth, what were the most difficult moments in which God helped you?

There were so many moments that He helped me through. Without a doubt, I know that if it had not been for Him, perhaps I would not even be here today. And I share this with you today, precious one, not because I desire to be a decay in my earthly husband’s life, because as we know, we are called to be a crown to our husbands. But it is important for me to share because I promised my Beloved that I would speak about what He did for me, so that just as I came to know, you too may know that nothing is impossible for Him.

He helped me endure the moment I found out about the other woman and watched him speak with her daily, even while we were still sleeping in the same bed. He helped me when he abandoned me and our son at my parents’ house and left without looking back. That truly broke both my heart and my son’s heart, because he did not understand what was happening or where his father was going.

Another moment He faithfully helped me through was when people close to me, even my own family, told me to do the opposite of the narrow path I had decided to follow out of love for the Lord and for the restoration of my family. Everyone would tell me that he was enjoying life, posting happy pictures in beautiful places, and in obedience I chose to close my social media and disconnect from everyone.

There were also hurtful comments from people I loved who would ask when I was finally going back home or say that my house would rot away. That was very painful for me because in obedience I knew that He would allow me to return home, and that it would not happen in my timing, but in His. I made many mistakes, but in His love He has taught me that none of this happened because I deserved it or because I was perfect, but because His love goes beyond anything I could ever imagine.

Another very painful moment was when he brought the other woman to my parents’ house to drop off our son, and I knew they were spending time together with her daughter. That hurt me deeply, and only by clinging to Him was I able to endure every trial.

He also helped me when my earthly husband told me that he no longer loved me, that I should have some dignity for myself, and that only if God wanted it would we ever be together again. I had been abandoned with our small son and without financial support, but He was faithful and never abandoned me.

He is wonderful!

4. Ruth, what was the “turning point” in your restoration?

My dear one, I want you to know that I am not perfect, and I do not believe this journey is about perfection or about how well you do everything—although we should certainly strive to do our best. But I believe our Beloved knows our hearts.

I believe my turning point came when I began to genuinely smile again and accept walking through the middle of the fire while holding tightly to His hand. Don’t misunderstand me—I cried so much. I am a professional crier! But there came a moment when I surrendered and placed everything into His hands.

More than simply stopping the pursuit of my earthly husband, I believe there came a moment when I truly released him from my heart, even though it felt completely impossible. But He faithfully helped me.

I remember one night, crying deeply, and I told the Lord, “Let Your will be done. If I must choose between a restored marriage and the salvation of his soul, I give You my marriage. Please save his soul from condemnation and destruction.”

I believe He truly saw my heart and my desire to never hurt or wound again. In a way, I think I was finally able to surrender my Isaac and keep walking, even though I had been left alone with a five-year-old child, without a home, staying at my parents’ house with only two small suitcases of clothes—the only things I could take the day my earthly husband left me there—and without enough income to meet our needs.

When I was finally able to open my heart completely to the Lord, to speak with Him about everything, to pour out my tears before Him, and to accept His will for my life… when I surrendered all my desires and dreams for myself and my son, and was still able to encourage others even when my life looked ruined in the natural, I began to feel that peace—that sweet peace that surpasses all understanding.

He led me down the path of forgiveness, of repaying good instead of evil for evil, of loving those who hurt me, and of surrendering justice to Him and to Him alone.

5. Tell us HOW it happened. Ruth, did your husband just walk back through the front door? Did you suspect or feel that you were close to restoration?

There were so many prayers and conversations that I had with my Beloved, and He began to surprise me by answering many of them. I remember praying that, in His timing, my earthly husband would feel attracted to me again, that we could grow close in intimacy once more, and that when that happened, something would take place in his heart. And He was faithful—He did exactly that.

After that, everything began happening so quickly. He started calling me. One afternoon he came to my workplace to take me out to lunch, and he began talking about future plans that included both of us. He talked about things he wanted to do around the house, and one day he even asked me if I wanted to have another child. This was something I had asked my Beloved for and had prayed about as well.

I remember that after I answered him, I regretted it in my heart and mind because I knew we should not share our desires with our earthly husbands, so I asked Him to turn my mistake into something good. But truly, He knows all things and knows what we will go through. Later, my husband told me that the other woman had asked him to have a child with her, but he refused and told her that this belonged only to a wife. I simply stayed quiet and said in my heart to my Beloved, “You truly honor us in everything.”

I really did see things begin to move quickly. Even one Sunday, my Beloved worked in my earthly husband’s heart and led him to church. Yes, precious ones—He did it! I did not go to church that Sunday, and now I understand that it was all part of His perfect plan.

On April 19th, my earthly husband reconciled with his Savior, and my father was there that day and welcomed him with a hug. They both cried. That same day, an aunt sent me a picture on my phone, and tears began rolling down my cheeks. I called her and said, “Aunt, that’s my husband, that’s my husband!” And she replied, “Yes, my girl, yes my love, today your husband reconciled with the Lord!”

Praise be to my Beloved Heavenly Husband, my Savior, my King—He did it!!!!

Although he is still being worked on by the Lord and is still being freed from chains and everything he had been trapped in, I have faith and believe that the Lord will complete the work He began in us.

The following week, he came to pick up our son and me from my parents’ house and invited us to stay overnight at his mother’s house. Throughout all this time, my mother-in-law and I had always remained united in prayer and faith for restoration, even when things looked impossible.

I want to tell you, princess, that from my perspective everything seemed stalled, stuck, and without progress—but my Beloved was working. My earthly husband has told me things at different moments, and all I can say is, “Thank You, Lord!”

I saw how He even used unbelieving friends who told him how bad he looked, how deteriorated he had become, and that he needed to leave that relationship and return to his wife! Praise be to my Lord! I also saw how the relationship he was in began turning bitter and how conflicts started growing between them, to the point where they even falsely claimed that I was calling this person. But my Beloved is faithful because He knows the truth. He defended me and brought the truth into the light.

His Word is truly fulfilled when it says that He fights for us and that we do not need to fight in our own strength.

This Wednesday, he went to collect the remaining belongings from the place where he had been living with that person, and then he brought my son and me to my mother-in-law’s house so the three of us could finally be together again.

We have not yet been able to return to our own home because, as we know, His Word speaks about being reduced to a morsel of bread, and our finances are still very limited. But there is peace in my heart and hope that all things work together for good. Once He guides us and we are able to pay off some debts, we will return home.

He tells me how much he misses our house, our bed, and how much he wants us to be together again in our home.

Even though I am staying at my mother-in-law’s house, I understand that this has been His will, and I thank Him for everything He has done—and for everything He will continue doing in our lives.

6. Ruth, what principles from the Word of God (or through our resources) did the Lord teach you during this trial? Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you?

There were many principles that spoke to me through the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and also through the book A Wise Woman. They showed me how I had been a contentious woman and how I had been living my life outside of the divine design for which He created me.

I realized that for many years—throughout almost my entire marriage—I had acted as the head of the home instead of living according to His will.

I also learned how the different trials He allows shape our character and make us more like Jesus. Having a kind and compassionate heart will always be His will for us, and I learned that we cannot achieve this in our own strength—only He can do it within us.

7. Ruth, do you have any favorite Bible verses you would like to share with the women reading your testimony? Any promises He gave you?

Yes! I would love to share those wonderful words He gave me and through which He spoke directly to my heart.

8. Finally, what words of encouragement would you like to leave for the women reading this?

Precious one, no matter what others may say, all things are possible for the one who believes. Is anything impossible for Him?

He loves you so much, and He will never leave you nor forsake you. He knows your pain, and He sees every single tear you cry. Be assured that none of them are wasted. They water the ground where His glory will one day be revealed, and from Him your salvation will come.

He chooses the weak and the despised to do wonderful things. He chose you, and He will fulfill His purpose in you and in your family.

You are not alone, and you never will be again. He promises to be with us every day until the very end, and He promises that this trial will not last forever. Today I write to you and tell you what He has done for me, and believe me when I say that I am far from perfect—I am still being shaped by Him. Right now, I am learning to remain quiet and face the challenges that come with a restored marriage, but now I know that He will never leave me nor abandon me. We may be forgotten by parents, spouses, siblings, or friends, but He will never forget us. I believe this journey has left me with a lesson for life: His love and His truth endure forever. The most beautiful part at the end of this journey is having found Him and continuing to desire Him more each day so we may be filled with Him. Do not give up, and do not lose heart. You and your household shall be saved! And I will be here to read your testimony too, because He is faithful and never fails to fulfill His promises.

~ Rut from Panamá

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