RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “I Thought about Cheating to Make Him Suffer”

♕ Today's Promise: “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison." Matthew 5:25

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Andrea, how did your restoration actually begin?

It all started just after returning from a trip that I went on at the end of the year. I went to my sister's and I stayed there for 3 days. It’s when I came home that I noticed that my husband was totally different. He didn't talk to me nor would he meet my eyes when we talked. I'm ashamed to say that the moment he went to sleep, I took his phone and went to find out that he was cheating on me. Because he had cheated on me before (with this same person), I made up my mind that I could never trust him again. What's interesting is that I found out here at Restore Ministries International that Erin says not to trust our husbands, but for an entirely different reason. 

Jeremiah 17:5-10 “Thus says the LORD, 'Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD. For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD and whose trust is the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.’”

But at the time I didn't know that. I also didn't know what a mistake it was to confront and ask your husband to choose between us and the other woman, because that's what I did and heard the words "I never loved you."

How did God change your situation, Andrea, as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

That's when I started looking for something I could do to get my marriage back and saw a comment that mentioned marriage help online. It was clearly GOD who heard my cries for help, and after this exact moment, He started to transform me. I downloaded the book God restores your marriage and I saw everything I had done to contribute to my situation, causing a crisis and making it worse by doing what everyone says you should do. Each page was like it was written just for me!

Before I found RMI, I just thought about cheating to make him suffer, teaching him a lesson. I thought about finding someone else, someone new and I would use it to get my husband to come back. How foolish and shocking now thinking back to me even considering something so sinful. I'm just so thankful that I started by looking for God with all my heart and then asking Him to change me, change my heart and to teach me how to forgive. This led to how He continues to transform me and give me the gentle and quiet spirit, which He knew I needed to deal with my earthly husband and the other woman.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Andrea, did the Lord teach you during this trial? 

The principles were: stop all discussions with your husband and forgiveness because that was fundamental to my journey. Letting go was the hardest, but once I let go I grabbed onto my Heavenly Husband with both arms and that's when I really changed and so did my journey and my restoration!

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Andrea?

The most difficult was when I started to go through needing an income. I'd not worked prior to this and without a job, things started to lack. Yet this was such a blessing watching the way God supplied all my needs (Phil. 4:19). The moment the Lord became my Husband, He led me to tithe from some money I'd gotten from an accident I was in and that's when the floodgates opened over my life! I was able to pay each of my bills and I became debt-free!!

Luke 6:38—

“Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

Andrea, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

The turning point was when I let go of everything and came to the point of not wanting my marriage restored. I wanted and needed only Him (after taking the Abundant Life course). That's when my earthly husband began contacting me but I wouldn't respond to his texts or calls. Then I finally surrendered to His will and my restoration began.

Tell us HOW it happened, Andrea? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Andrea, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? 

After I replied to his first text, he started to come over every day to have lunch. It began by just being friends again. There were no fights whatsoever. I would mostly nod and listen and if it was something that normally would spark a fight, I was just agreeable (Matt. 5:25). I was shocked just how powerful this one principle is to any relationship!

This entire time we were never intimate, which was fine with me because I didn't need it. I was in such a state of sheer contentment. After this, he asked me to go on a date with him, which was lovely, and later we were intimate again. Before he left he asked me to go to his mother's house over the weekend and while on a walk on their property, he told me he was thinking of returning home. He asked what I thought and I said, "Do whatever makes you happy. I'm really more than fine." He looked hurt but I didn't feel like I had anything else I should say and told God, "I want Your will to be done."

A week later he arrived holding a suitcase and asked if he could stay. I said, “Of course, this is your home." That weekend he asked if I would go to church. I told him I no longer went but that I would go with him. That day he spoke to the pastor after service and in the evening service, he was baptized. I thanked God so much because it was one of my earlier prayers that I stopped praying and told Him I just trusted Him to turn his heart to want to do it and told God that I'd never mention it again nor pray, I would just trust Him.

The other part to complete our restoration is when my Earthly Husband came to me and said he wanted to let me know that he hadn't spoken to the Other Woman for many weeks. He said she kept contacting him, begging him to get together and “just talk” but he said No and blocked her from his phone and social media! Praise be to God because He is God, He alone is faithful and HE fulfilled all He said He would do, every promise I'd believed for He did!

Thank You my God I will never be able to stop thanking You!

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Andrea?

Yes, I recommend God can and will restore your marriage and a wise woman that I read first and continue to read it and will until my last days on earth. I loved the abundant life series too, the encourager, devotionals, psalms and proverbs to stay spiritually fed and spiritually healthy.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Andrea? 


Either way, Andrea, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Have faith and believe in God's ability to restore your marriage. Don't you try, instead, focus on Him. Remember He is the God of impossible and what He did for me He will do for you too once He is first in your life!

Find more encouragement and overcome the hurdle of #Letting Go, #Gentle & Quiet Spirit by clicking on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.

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