♕ Today's Promise: "Enjoy life with the woman you love, every day of this meaningless life that God gives you under the sun; all your meaningless days! For that is your reward in life for your hard work under the sun." Ecclesiastes 9:7
Cordelia, how did your restoration actually begin?
Just days after we got back from our honeymoon, my husband disappeared on a Sunday after he said he was off to fly a kite. He didn’t bother inviting me and then he didn’t come back home until it was well after dark. From that moment on I realized that he did not want to be married. The desire was just to have someone to live his life and bring him contentment, without the worries or responsibilities of being a husband. One day, I was ill and stayed home from work. I had horrible back pain but rather than stay home to help me, without saying he was leaving, he just left me to go play ball. I was very upset and in my anger I took some pain medicine and just got busy cleaning the house. For hours after he came back, he just sat on the sofa relaxing. I was frowning but didn’t say anything hoping he’d apologize. He finally asked what he could do to help me and I was fighting the urge to just lose it and scream at him. He saw the state I was in, so he nervously said he was leaving and would come back when I was in a better mood. So I grabbed his arm and ended up hurting him.
My many reasons for why I had assaulted him just made him more angry, so he simply left and took all his clothes! I remember crumbling right there on the floor and crying to our Lord, I opened the Bible and the Lord brought me to 1 Samuel 2:1 [ Hannah’s Prayer of Praise ] Then Hannah prayed: “My heart rejoices in the Lord! The Lord has made me strong. Now I have an answer for my enemies; I rejoice because you rescued me." So I stood up and began rejoicing, praising Him with thanksgiving.
By the Lord's mercy, the next day he returned home, but the fighting didn't end there. I will briefly say that twice God spoke to me that the pain would be great and the tears would be great, but everything would be difficult in the beginning, but if I would let Him change me, in the end, we would be restored for good.
My sister and I became ePartners on that day because we were experiencing many difficulties in both our marriages. So I started going to her house to pray and in the same week, my husband left again moving to his parents' house. At that same time is when I found the RMI ministry and let him go. I did not say anything. My pastor went to talk to him and everything that the book, How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage said he repeated, telling the pastor that I was: contentious, quarrelsome, and a huge Pharisee! Glory to God, for showing me this and I knew God was giving me the opportunity for a spiritual transformation, to become a new woman, wife, sister and daughter.
How did God change your situation, Cordelia, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
First, I looked for a church that believed in restoring marriages. For nothing is impossible with God and He hates divorce. After that, I asked for prayer on an Internet site and that's when someone sent me the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage by email. I searched the Internet more and found the RMI site.
I devoured that book. I read it at work during my breaks, during every bit of spare time I had, and put everything into practice as far as possible. Later, I received information from my pastor that my EH called with the intention of returning home. I was very happy, but it still took a couple of days for him to call me and say he was coming back. Later I discovered that he had already filed for divorce. He’d contacted a family member who's a lawyer. Later I discovered he never even referred to me by name but simply called me the "problem." Since he does modeling besides his regular job and said that the "problem" (referring to me) just wasn't worth stressing over.
Even though he was adamant about divorcing me, in the end, God prevented him from filing the papers! The day his cousin called me, saying she was sending someone with the papers, I replied that the next day I'd be here and would happily sign. I'd just read how important it was to agree and agree enthusiastically in the facing divorce again book, so I trusted God and did what it said without reservation. I told her I would contact her once I signed them. Then right after hanging up, I called my sister who I knew was suffering. My brother-in-law left her because he had fallen in love with a woman who lived in another city. He was a salesman and he was always away offering "his services" to women as he went from city to city. But during one of his regular stops, he met this particular OW. There was a long period of time when he'd come home reeking of her perfume. My sister would be so horribly upset, she'd make him sleep in his car, which caused him to despise my sister.
So I called to encourage her, to share as many principles I could, reading from the book several the pages I had highlighted and shared how I happily agreed to sign the D papers. My sister said I shouldn't, that I should fight it but I told her, no, God will fight for me so let's just begin to praise Him for all that we both were going through
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Cordelia, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
During that time of so many trials, my sister and I got together more and more in prayer and then doubled our time rejoicing, dancing before the Lord, thanking Him for our trials. I cried to my HH in secret sometimes because I was worried about my sister. I told Him to show me that this would pass and at least as a sign, to please do something for my sister who was the one really struggling. Soon afterward, GOD brought my brother-in-law back home and I watched God do it. That's when my sister, restored, began encouraging me, because my husband had still not returned. My faith was high and so I focused more on making my time alone count for more than just focusing on myself and what I knew...that I could simply trust God to do what He’d promised.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Cordelia?
The most difficult thing was when my husband called saying that he would never return after he heard my brother-in-law had returned. Then he told me he'd met another woman he was modeling with and they were better suited to each other. Almost the very next day she showed up on all of his social networks and changed her last name to his and uploaded dozens of pictures of herself with him. It was the same day that God delivered my miracle to my heart. I wasn't meant to see all of this, it was someone at work who ran to show me and before I knew what I was looking at, the enemy had made his way in.
So I did as I always did and praised Him even more, knowing that if it was this intense God was battling and needed my praise to win the victory for me. Praising Him was my part.
Cordelia, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
With God nothing is impossible! When my husband returned to his mother's house to stay the night, he went to his boyhood bedroom and opened the Bible that was still on his nightstand. And for the first time since he left home, He opened his Bible after He heard God speak to him. He said he opened the Bible to Ecclesiastes 9:7. "Enjoy life with the woman you love, every day of this meaningless life that God gives you under the sun; all your meaningless days! For that is your reward in life for your hard work under the sun."
Tell us HOW it happened, Cordelia? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Cordelia, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
I understood that my fight was coming to an end because it had become so difficult. I had no idea what had happened to my husband, but I knew I'd praised God so it was very, very close.
I spent Friday night as what I believed might be one of my last days alone with just me and my HH, so I wanted to cherish it. The very next morning, my husband called me and said he had prayed on Wednesday and God had spoken to him through the Word. How beautiful, because just the night before I'd opened to that same verse and highlighted it. That day I prayed to ask God that my husband would return to rejoice in His goodness with me.
Well, he came back that same Wednesday, five months ago and we began by thanking God for His goodness and faithfulness to us. My sister and I continued together in prayer because her marriage wasn't restored fully. I told her she needed to let God work and that her part was to praise. I told her that God was committed to those who were committed to Him and that He contemplated us both in the early morning, throughout the day, and as we slept. That if we trusted His purpose, our God would honor us. And so He did.
My brother-in-law asked my sister for forgiveness right after God closed the door on his job. Because he was unemployed and without a vehicle, we knew he would not be able to continue his normal life. We simply witnessed what He was doing while we praised Him. Then we heard that God told my brother-in-law that he needed to want another job, a job to which he could return to his wife each night. How beautiful is our God! Now he is a different man.
As far as my testimony, God continues to work on both of us. Months after my husband returned, he confessed that he cheated on me, not with just one person, but with several. He said he was sorry, and yes, even though it was difficult he was thankful because things between us became good! God used it all for good.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Cordelia?
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Cordelia?
Either way, Cordelia, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
It is not by force, nor by violence, but by my Spirit, says the Lord. Praise, praise, praise Him rather than begging and worrying because that quenches what He's promised to do. Let go and let God restore you. Because if you do, the One who started the good work will be more than faithful to finish the work He started. Think of others more than yourself. Don't just strive to restore your own marriage, find someone else and watch their marriage restoration to build your faith. We simply must believe in His goodness!
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.