♕ Today's Promise: “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” Psalm 16:11
Ministry Note: This Restored Marriage Testimony is very special to me. Even though I've never met Jana, when I heard she was one of the members of the WhatsApp group started by Valentina, who was once a dear close friend, our Portguese Minister and then was suddenly taken from us, after sowing seeds of hope into rich soil that are yielding a crop of good fruit as you will read. ~ Erin
“And the one on whom seed was sown on the good soil, this is the man who hears the word and understands it; who indeed bears fruit and brings forth, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty.”
Jana, how did your restoration actually begin?
I was a rebellious daughter and my husband had a rebellious streak as well. I had no real relationship with God when I was young. I was looking for other things in the world to make me happy and fulfill my needs of abandonment and depression, which were the result of an unstructured and disrupted family growing up.
After I married, I realized there was a void in my life and soon I found out that I was being betrayed by my husband. I felt rejected, humiliated, really thrown into the mire and I understood what says in Psalm 55:12-14: “For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was you, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We who took sweet fellowship together, and walked unto the house of God”.
The foundation of my life slipped from under me and in despair, I wept because I couldn't understand why my marriage was over. There were long painful years of crying, but also healing and deliverance.
To compound my distress, I was pregnant when my mother passed away, and I was angry with God because He had not healed my mother. I felt more and more alone.
We were blessed with a beautiful son, yet, I was very much alone at home and only took care of our son. I forgot that my husband was there and that I had a life besides just being a mother. Furthermore, I did make room for my husband to be a father, to take care of our son because I feared he’d become aggressive with him and was afraid of what he could possibly do to our child. I forgot that sometimes he was loving, I was too hurt to see any of his good qualities.
My husband told me he didn't want to go to church anymore because I had to stay with our son in the Children's Church Room and he couldn’t understand. He said that he did not want to have a child, he didn’t like that he did not sleep, and that he was very nervous due to these things. To cope he went back to drinking and doing many things that separated him from God.
I continued to go to church, mostly I cried. I simply didn’t have time to search for God in a quiet and alone time. I wanted to know Him, to listen to Him, but I did not know His Word, and I had never been taught how to seek Him. But when I found and read the book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage", I got to know Him intimately and His Word and then I was able to see myself and my sins.
How did God change your situation, Jana, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
I made so many mistakes before I found RMI that I saw my marriage die and could not do anything. I was too busy and stuck in my millions of sins. I did not renounce nor repent of them, I did not see them, I only saw the sins of my husband and others, I was selfishly thinking only of my personal salvation and happiness.
I even hoped that my EH would be punished. I wanted to be happy and without looking and “loving my neighbor as myself.” I thought I was the best in everything, I thought I was the most spiritual because I went to church. I often preached to my husband and became his “holy spirit.” I tried to force him to go to church so he would change.
In addition to all this, I lived in lies, I lied about the values of things, I lied to please, I lied to avoid discussion, I lied that I had won something when in fact, I had bought myself nothing but... devastating lies.
I was very impatient, I fought over a dirty glass, his clothes thrown on the floor, argued when my EH drank. In addition, I was gossiper (it was not about spreading rumors, but I talked about the sin of others and did not look at my own). I refused to be submissive to my husband or anyone else in authority. I would not take orders from anyone nor being contradicted by others.
I judged everyone and made myself a victim. I took what was not mine, for example. I ate at the supermarket and didn't pay for it or I kept the extra change that the cashier gave me when it was the wrong amount. I had a lot of anger, unforgiveness, etc ...
So God started to transform me and also to change my situation. I was able to see all my sins when the scales fell from my eyes.
Alone in my secret room, I went through the courses provided by RMI—courses that were my key to victory—He took me to my neighbor who became my prayer partner, as she was going through a situation similar to mine.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Jana, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
Won Without a Word, because before I wanted to win with a multitude of words.
“In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise”. Proverbs 10:19-29
I went to church 1 or 2 times a week, but I didn't know God and what it was like to have an intimate relationship with Him. I had religion, but I didn't have God.
I often rejected my husband in all situations, anytime I was very angry, hurt and sad. Knowing about the Intimacy while Still Married was fundamental for our restoration.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Jana?
I saw my husband drinking more and more, smoking, using drugs, being aggressive towards me and my son. Every year it got worse inside my house, and I being a fool talked about his sin to everyone and to his mother (the worst mistake I made), and I always said, “I can't take it anymore”, “I'm tired” and just didn’t pray anymore. I wanted to disappear and go back in time to erase everything before all this started—back to my wedding day.
But in the midst of so much pain, I lived with the best and greatest Love in the world, I lived my own restoration and God rewarded me with a restored marriage. ? In fact, I will live the restoration daily, until I meet My Beloved Heavenly Husband here and for all eternity.
You can be happy in all areas of your life when you first find joy in God and meet your Beloved Heavenly Husband.
“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” Psalm 16:11
Jana, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
While I was fasting and praying I started looking for restored marriages on the internet and putting on the armor of God—daily and in prayer, I also covered my husband in prayer instead of in my words to Him. I really prayed without ceasing.
I found the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and read it in 3 days and then I prayed the prayers found at the end of this book.
I started the courses but I decided to do Course 2, because I thought: “as I already read the book, I don't need Course 1.” But then I came back and I did course 1 and saw that it was very different from the book.
I was transformed daily, I no longer looked at my husband's sins, or what he did, I declared that my joy came from the Lord and I could live contentment in any situation. I let go of attending church and started to meet the Lord in my prayer closet instead. I spent hours studying and praying after work and my focus was to be transformed. Everyday I cried and asked God for help, I did not fear bad news or what I was seeing, I lived by faith towards my victory.
One day I got home, I was doing course 2, and I went to bed, I prayed and said: “I don't want the restoration anymore, I just want You, Lord. Enough, I will live to serve You!” I started to take care of myself more, I dressed up and went for walks with my son, I started to enjoy his company (because before sadness wouldn't let me!). And I liked to teach him things, and wow, it was wonderful! My Beloved has dried my tears, He has become my Husband, and the best Husband! Everything was perfect between us!
Tell us HOW it happened, Jana? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Jana, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
While I was restored from inside out, my husband was also changing and looking at me differently. The scales began to fall from his eyes, and he became more affectionate, asking me for forgiveness for what he had done and we are together as a family again!
He stopped taking drugs, drinking alcohol, or causing fights and and he went back to church, sometimes he took us with him.
My husband is more and more transformed and is a new man. I am grateful for everything and I wait for God to finish the good work that He started!
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Jana?
YES! I became a RMI partner, and I know that this way I can help women from all over the world to learn what I learned here.
I also have an encouragement group on WhatsApp, where we share the lessons of the courses and support each other in prayer as ePartners. I am also part of the “Beloved Children of the Father and Go Restoring Ministry”, which are branches of RMI. We are women who meet in person and online to study the book, A Wise Woman ?
The important thing is to live His love abundantly and share that love and faith with everyone to whom He sends us.
Either way, Jana, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Dear friend, don't forget that it is a spiritual battle! Even after the restoration, sometimes, my EH arrived home drunk, but I trusted Him. I waited on my EH, and served him, took off his shoes and took care of him. Calmly, I sat with him and just talked, I didn't judge him. Other times, he went out to concerts and pubs, and as Erin said, so did I, I went with him, but I went praying in my spirit! But quickly he stopped, my husband didn't want to do these programs anymore, thanks to my Beloved because I honored rather than judged my EH!
“And whosoever shall ask you to go a mile, go with him two.” Matthew 5:41
Don't be a spectator, live the restoration! Take care of the children of God and then He takes care of you! Never give up on your restoration!
Find more encouragement and overcome the hurdle of #WWW won without words by clicking on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.