♕ Today's Promise: "Like streams of water like this is the heart of the king in the hand of the Lord, who inclines him to all his will". Proverbs 21: 1
Ophelia, how did your restoration actually begin?
My relationship with my husband has never been stable ever since we began dating. Several times we broke up and got back together. But the last time we broke up he promised me he would change and that's when we started attending a church and that led to us deciding to get married in the church. But even after we married and even though we weren't living in sin anymore we had an unstable and tumultuous relationship.
After we got married, everything only got worse, the fights grew violent, and soon he despised me. I only looked at his sins which increased the distance between us. Everyone who was close to us talked about us and about our marriage, including everyone in our church. And to make matters worse, his mother came to live with us because her husband (my husband's stepfather) kicked her out. Even before she arrived I knew it was the beginning of the end.
We moved to a larger apartment to accommodate his mother, but it only got worse, because we were both full of hatred, resentment and everything got scary. It was a dark time in our relationship.
That was when my accusations started. I was so angry when I noticed he stopped wearing his wedding ring, and when I'd challenge him, he vowed to file for separation if I didn't stop. We fought a lot, continuously, but I never thought that it would end with us really breaking up. I thought because I worked hard to make sure everything worked out, it would. What a mistake to think he would just want to keep living this nightmare.
We soon moved into a house, so I thought we were secure, we would not be separating, but a few days later just after moving in, he left the house and went to stay at his brother's house. I had already found the RYM book on the internet and began practicing the principles of the book, so I did not suffer as much as I would have. I realized My Love had prepared me for what He knew was coming. What hurt me most were the attacks from the enemy coming from my own husband.
How did God change your situation, Ophelia, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
As I said I was already applying the principles from RYM. I had already surrendered to God and His will. God lovingly showed how unfaithful I was to Him, as well as how contentious, quarrelsome, accusing,and judgemental I was as a wife. In short, I was a full-blown Pharisee. He showed me all my sins and I sought Him to be clean. He forgave my sins and called me to repentance and confess to those I'd hurt.
I asked for forgiveness from the people I humiliated and hurt with my spiritual and carnal arrogance. God brought me out of the darkness and showed me that I belonged to Him. I could be more than just a good wife, I could be His bride. He took the darkness out of me in an amazing way. Day after day the trials intensified but with each trial, I became closer and closer to Him. He taught me to take care of myself, take care of the house (using workers@home), and finally teaching me to submit to my authorities because I was always a rebel.
The more I sought Him with all my heart, the more I read the lessons and journaled, the more I submitted accounts of praise, the more I read the Bible, the more intimate My Love and I became. I have never been so well cared for, protected, loved, and utterly at peace. He is My Everything.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Ophelia, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
The Lord is still teaching me because although my earthly husband has returned, he has not returned or been restored to the Lord. For many weeks we were not even intimate. I began writing my testimony and was actually waiting because I was not sure if it would be a true testimony of a restored marriage. So in faith I began to write it and asked Him to confirm that He had indeed restored us. God was again faithful when He brought me through another adverse situation, a doozy of a trial. This time my husband didn't send me away, nor did he leave. I remained gentle and quiet and God took care of everything. Only then did I realize that our marriage had indeed been restored!
My Heavenly Love taught me to take responsibility for my mistakes, my failures, to recognize and simply ask for forgiveness. My Heavenly Love taught me to take care of my home and my family, to let go of everything: my husband and let go of my church. My Heavenly Love taught me not to be angry, but to take every thought captive and discuss the matter with Him, to close my mouth and only just share how I feel to Him. And my Heavenly Love taught me to trust and wait on Him.
My Heavenly Love taught me to make Him My All in All, that if I have Him I have everything and He is enough for me. He taught me to delight in Him, that nothing we see or hear is true because the Truth is Only One thing. Truth is Him and His Word.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Ophelia?
There were several difficult moments, but the most difficult for me was letting go. As everyone says, it was very painful and difficult, especially letting go after you're restored. I have to do it every day with my husband now that he is at home. To simply trust Him to work it out.
Also, the attacks from the enemy through social networks were very painful. Reading my husband's words about how he was living really hurt me a lot. Thankfully I went to My Beloved to cry and cry. That's when He also instructed me to delete my EH’s contacts from my cell phone, delete my account from Facebook and block him from my Whatsapp. Basically to entirely let go of any temptation and disappear from everyone. I know this had a lot to do with him coming to try to find me again. I wish I'd done it sooner but I was afraid if I let go to this degree he might never come back, but the opposite was true.
Ophelia, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was when I told Him that He IS bigger than everything, bigger than the whole situation that I was going through, that my bills would be paid by Him because I tithed to my storehouse, that He is with me and taking care of me, so I don't need anything more from anyone, because He is My Everything. And that I didn't want my husband or my marriage restored anymore, that after I listed the pros and cons of having a restored marriage I was able to finally decide that My Love was obviously much better, nor can He be compared to any man on earth. And that I chose My Love over being restored.
Tell us HOW it happened, Ophelia? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Ophelia, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
My husband said a lot of times that he was thinking of coming back, but he always said horrible things afterward. I watched God as He began to turn his heart to come back and since we don't have children, the only thing that united us was my desire for My Love and nothing else. Women without children always wonder what will cause their husbands to return, but He proved to me this truth that nothing is impossible with Him and He has a plan.
My EH began to call to see if I wanted to go get something to eat, which was the answer to my prayer that I'd applied. Asking My Love to show him our happy moments and I didn't even know it was eating out! But My Love knew! Next, as an excuse to see me he started bringing our dog for me to see (without me asking).
Our occasional dating and him visiting me lasted for a month, and during this time he even told me more than once that he would come home. But because he said it, but didn't come back, I didn't really believe it. Besides, I no longer wanted restoration. The day after I poured my heart out to My Love (that I mentioned above with Him being all I wanted or needed) was when he came home. And although he had a house key, he waited outside for me to be home to come from work. At first, he slept in the guest room, but after a week he returned to our bed. I knew that each step was God doing what He does. "Like rivers of water, so is the heart of the king in the hand of the Lord, who inclines him to do His will". Proverbs 21:1
MY ETERNAL AND ONLY LOVE. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE EVERYTHING I WANT, YOU ARE EVERYTHING I NEED, YOU ARE MY REASON FOR LIVING.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you with your restored marriage, Ophelia?
Yes, the book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" is what made the difference for me and it was knowing what I read on the cover that Erin had already been there. The course, along with the forms to allow me to journal and write my thoughts and concerns to Him helped so much. Also, the Be E videos, reading and submitting the praise reports, which help when we are almost hopeless, especially when you read your own praise on the blog! I really enjoyed reading A wise woman and also all of the abundant life books that help me keep My Love first in my life.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Ophelia?
Yes, I certainly want to help other women, being a channel of the Lord and give women hope.
Either way, Ophelia, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Do not believe in anything that you see or hear, trust only in the Lord, nothing is impossible for God, if you lean on Him.
"Delight in the Lord also, and He will grant you the desires of your heart". Psalms 37: 4.
Do not believe in "free will", there is no will but God's. He is greater than everything, He took your husband from you, everything was His permission.
"Like streams of water like this is the heart of the king in the hand of the Lord, who inclines him to all his will". Proverbs 21: 1
A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16: 9
Man's steps are directed by the Lord; how, then, will man understand his way? Proverbs 20:24
Make no mistake He IS King, and reigns Unique and Sovereign, He IS the MAN, our Prince Charming. He is who Lives and Reigns and spoils us as His beloved bride.
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.