♕ Today's Promise: "For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7
Alessandra, how did your restoration actually begin?
I was willing to get a divorce to stop the way my husband and I were living. I thought this was my only option. So I searched on Google about the types of divorce. I saw a list of lawyers who specialized in divorce but then I was kind of curious, wondering: What does God think of divorce? My heart along with my lack of understanding made me believe that God wanted everyone to be happy and if we were not happy, it was ok to divorce. Even so, the doubt did not leave me...I decided to research about God and divorce and so I was directed to the passage in Malachi where it says GOD hates divorce. When this path was no longer an option, I started to research on how to restore my marriage and that’s when my Heavenly Husband guided me to RMI.
Reading the book, How God can and will restore your marriage and then reading the Bible to confirm that what was said in it was true, convinced me I was now on the right path. Before, I didn't even know where to start, but the verses quoted in the book were essential for me to head in the right direction. In the beginning all I wanted most was for God to restore my marriage ASAP but as time went by and He healed / transformed me, I wished for all of Him in my life and no longer desired restoration. I started to love our moments together: talking to Him, singing to Him, meditating on His Word. My every waking moment was filled with utter joy. My focus changed little by little and then I began to ask for a restored marriage if this is what God wanted for our lives. I didn't want my marriage anymore! Then I began to really want my earthly husband back but with my Heavenly Husband being the center of everything in our lives!
How did God change your situation, Alessandra, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
As I read the book, I saw all my mistakes and I went from victim to villain! I didn't know that I was so foolish, my heart was wide open and totally surrendered to the hands of my Beloved to guide me, and when I read each verse from the Word of God I was being transformed, and I fell in love with Him. I wondered how I could have lived so long without enjoying this abundant life and missing out on a life that was always available to me??? My Beloved was transforming me from the inside out, He filled me with a joy that I didn't understand because the world continued the same way but it didn't affect me anymore.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Alessandra, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
For sure, win without words! I always had to be right, I always had to have the last word, so being quiet was not easy for me. As it says in the lessons, I began fasting because it made me weaker, I didn't even have the strength to talk about anything, let alone argue. Agreeing became easy and when I saw the results, wow, I was hooked. Peace and contentment. And there was another great benefit for me because besides keeping the peace with my earthly husband and everyone I always argued with—I lost 21 kgs or 46 pounds!
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Alessandra?
My earthly husband began asking me for a child, we had no children because we decided when we married we would never have any. But then, as I dreamed of GOD restoring my marriage, I decided that restoration needed to come first. But my earthly husband insisted saying he wanted a child and didn’t want to wait, so I decided to submit and gave everything to the Lord and thus I became pregnant.
Throughout my pregnancy my earthly husband said he would come back but he did not come back during my entire pregnancy. If I had agreed just to please my husband, rather than submitting “as unto the Lord” I would have been bitter. But there was no greater Husband or Father to my preborn daughter than my Heavenly Husband was to me! It was a glorious pregnancy!!
Then, when I was about halfway through my pregnancy I received a call from my mother-in-law informing me that my earthly husband was involved with and had a girlfriend. I replied to her: “The Lord's will be done!” I was a little sad, of course, but I knew that the Lord was in control of everything. When I met up with my earthly husband and I didn't confront him and I didn't even mention it because I had the full conviction that God was taking care of it for me, I could see in my husband’s face that he was stunned! That’s when I just smiled a knowing smile because I knew my Husband was with me and smiling with me!
Alessandra, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
It happened when I let it go completely. Whenever I needed something during pregnancy, I simply had to ask and my Beloved would give it to me! Even in the daily needs of all the small repairs that were needed in my home (I live in an old home). Each time He guided/enabled me to do it! Whenever my earthly husband and I said goodbye, he asked me to call him for anything I needed but I always preferred to look for Him, my Beloved! His mother confronted me to do something to stop her son because I was being very "permissive" with him but I always replied that only God could control a grown man. She couldn’t control him as a teen, how could I control him? I also reminded her once that in our fights he complained about the lack of freedom in our relationship, so now, I wouldn’t and couldn’t interfere. In my heart I knew that My Beloved would do anything for me, all I had to do was pray and trust!
Tell us HOW it happened, Alessandra? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Alessandra, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
The Lord wanted to restore my marriage at a specific appointed time. It all happened during surgery of all places!! My earthly husband told me he wanted to accompany me at the birth of the daughter. So during my delivery, which was cesarean because the baby was breech, he sat down next to me and whispered: “I'm coming home!” I was already beginning to "fade" from the anesthetic, but I remember that I replied: “You have said this so many times…” Then he replied: “But today it is for real, my bags are already in my car!” When I was discharged, we went home together, he had already moved in most of his clothes and a day later he went back for the rest when he knew the other woman was at work! He told me that the other woman had “held him hostage during my pregnancy threatening to tell everyone details of his life with her, posting intimate pictures of them on facebook.” So he’d stayed away from me, but now he said he “loathed her and every harlot.” PRAISE GOD only He could have done this. I had prayed these exact words just once and He did it!
I want to take this time to apologize to my Beloved for not having shared my testimony before this. Our daughter is 18 months old already! However, I know He will use this for good because I am here to say when you wait for GOD to restore, it is restored for good!
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Alessandra?
The book, How God can and will restore your marriage. I didn't have a Christian walk even though I was a Christian and went to church religiously. But that was the point, until I came to RMI I never had a relationship with the Lord! It wasn’t spoken of in the church, nor did the emphasis reading the Bible, which is both our life’s roadmap and love letters from our Beloved all rolled into one! Therefore, when I read that I should let him go and win without words, they seemed to me to be a bad joke because it was completely the opposite of what I was willing to do. But dear brides, believe! Submit! Do what His Word says, do what each lesson says to do. If you’re not yet restored, go back to see what principles you chose to ignore and do them. Better yet, ask Him which you ignored and ask Him to help you do them.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Alessandra?
Yes, for sure!
Either way, Alessandra, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Do not give up! Many, many times I felt tired and wanted to give up. So often it "appeared" as if nothing was happening and I thought about giving up. But never forget, we live by faith not by sight. “For we walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor. 5:7). “The sacrifices that please God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” Psalms 51:17
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.