♕ Today's Promise: “Fear not, for you will not be put to shame; Neither feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; but you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.” Isaiah 54:4
Malena, how did your restoration actually begin?
Dear brides, it is with great joy that I am here to tell you that I have been restored since the beginning of the year. Forgive me for the delay in submitting my testimony because I know just how important it is for us to read the testimonies. The testimonies encouraged me to keep going, to set my focus on my HH and then I failed to submit my own! Due to the suddenness, the complete change in my life, lack of internet time with a husband home (as they warn us will happen) and the mistake I made when I stopped the courses (now I'm back with a new more intense focus on Him and am determined to stay here!!) is why I failed you all and did not send my testimony until now. But Praise God that our HH loves us so much that He forgives us when we simply ask and gives us chance after chance to get it right. Your mercies are new every morning and have no end. Hallelujah!!! 🙂
After being separated for more than eight years, in January my husband called me out of the blue saying he wanted to come back to us (me and our 4 children). I was living with my mother at the time and he was living with his mother (after many OW's came and went through his life). So we decided we should live together and stay with my mother-in-law to avoid paying rent after my husband said it was time to start building our dream house, a new home where we could have a new fresh start. We had already purchased the land and the dream I'd thought was dead and gone He made alive again!!
How did God change your situation, Malena, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
After being with RMI for forever, I finally decided to stop holding onto my "dream" of a restored marriage. I never let go. I said I did, but I held onto my EH in my heart and God knew it. Then one day, I simply gave everything to my HH, I could no longer live without Him as so many testified to Him being in their lives. He became my First Love, my Everything, my Provider, my Comforter, my Savior who would save me from myself and my selfish desires. The Beloved of my soul. Whenever something happened to discourage or hurt me, I would give it all to Him. I would cry to Him and rest in His arms of love. When the pain was so strong that I could not even talk to Him or hear Him (because just as Erin says things are going to get heated when you get close) I sang love songs to Him and He enveloped me—oh, what a sweet Presence I bathed in!!! When He was all I could see, I no longer could see my afflictions but only saw by faith, through His eyes.
Certainly, I cared nothing for restoration anymore, truly knowing in my heart of hearts that it did not matter because I had who I wanted and who I lived for—that's when all things work together for good to those who love God. It's when everything in my life changed.
One thing I am sure I LOVE my HH for who He is, not for what He can give me, not anymore!!!!!!!
When I think of how long I held on, ignored the main principle of letting go, of thinking I could hold onto my dream, my promise of a restored marriage, while all along I was missing out on the real pearls (like that story that I read somewhere on a praise report or lesson).
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Malena, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I learned that I wasn't as submissive to my new Husband as I needed to be. Instead, I realized that I was in spiritual adultery, my restoration, my estranged husband, were both above my Heavenly Husband in my heart.
I learned that I must be a sweet, kind, virtuous woman and stop pretending to be. I told everyone (including myself) that I was doing everything, following all the principles, when deep down I was committing spiritual adultery. This ministry was God's vessel to sustain me on this journey and teach me to be His alone. They never give up on what is important. I know they get a lot of women who attack them on this, and no wonder. It's life-changing becoming His bride. Everyone wants their man back no matter what they have to do. But to do it HIS way, with HIS priorities is going to mean you're setting yourself up to be under enemy attack and lies to try and stop you.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Malena?
There were so many over these past 8 years. Probably the most difficult was when I learned of 2 OWs who my husband got pregnant. Later I found out they were lying (though they could have been his). The other that I battled through was when my young teenage son was spending the weekend with his father and came back really quiet. After he agreed to let me pray for him, he told me he saw his dad kissing one of the OW. He was literally sick to his stomach. At the time, I thought I could never forgive what he'd done. After several months of being away from my HH, not feeling His presence (due to not forgiving) I realized there was no way out unless I forgave. That's when I found Erin's truth "who can forgive but God alone" when she explained how she forgave her husband. How we just need to be real with the Lord, tell Him how we feel, that we don't want to forgive, that he doesn't deserve to be forgiven... just tell Him everything and then say, "You need to do it, I surrender" and that's when immediately the burden was lifted. I also relapsed a few times and had to repeat this but each time I felt so clean, so at peace.
Malena, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
At dawn, my husband texted me from his cell phone. At this point, he had stopped talking to me almost entirely. If he did text it was to spew out angry harsh words of contempt to hurt me (that was due to not letting go) and then he said he was desperate, asking me not to give up on him, that he loved me, to please never stop praying for him and begging me to wait for him. He texted a couple of hours later to please not to get someone else (I did not reply to his first text). That's when he told me he had just dreamed that I was radiant with happiness because I was in love with another man, a man who took good care of our children and was supplying all our needs. This new man in my life took such good care of me that he woke up sweating and shaking, desperate to find out and that's when he sent me a text message.
Our HH has a sense of humor, sending my husband a dream that caused him such a feeling of losing me, which is nonetheless absolutely true! The entire turn of events happened once the Lord was my HH and first love! Once I was honest, that restoration no longer mattered. When I was honestly and truly happy with my life as it was, without my earthly husband is when God saw I was ready to have my marriage restored!! The moment I no longer wanted restoration, as soon as I began to focus my HH as the most important in my life. Yes, that was the turning point, when I no longer thought about anything or anyone and I just wanted my HH!!!!!
Tell us HOW it happened, Malena? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Malena, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Never in a million years did I think it was close. I think it was because I no longer cared or I would have seen the signs. Without noticing any of the signs, when he texted then came over, standing there in front of me after not seeing him in years!!! When I didn't even want restoration, I loved living alone with my HH. I wanted time alone with Him, to sing love songs to Him, to meditate on the Word, realizing each was His promise to me, love letters to me.
As of today, we've now been together for almost a full year. Next month we will celebrate our anniversary for the first time in 9 years. I am a new woman and he is a new man, husband, father, son, brother. Imagine, a new man and I know the best is yet to come. I can only say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to my HH, to Erin, to the ministers and to each of you who continued to share your praise and love for Him!!!! He used you all to give me a new life!
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Malena?
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Malena?
Yessssss! Yes I would!
Either way, Malena, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Look at Him only. Have your HH as your main and only focus. Let go of your restoration, your EH and everything else you're hanging onto. Your life is His. What looks like an endless desert will suddenly change to streams in the desert once you stop ignoring what you know you must do. Let this ministry teach you to depend on Him and to live His perfect and pleasant will for you, your family life and your marriage. Trust Him and follow EVERYTHING in this ministry as it is 100% Word-based. Listen to no lies, rumors or anything else that is meant to steal what He has for you!
Find more encouragement and overcome the hurdle of #Letting Go by clicking on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.