☊ Listen to a SAMPLE
Kinsey, how did your restoration actually begin?
It is with tears in my eyes that I write this because when I was praying for my marriage to be restored, I would look at this form and wonder when I would fill it out and share my testimony with the world. I thought it would take a lot of time or it might never happen. Now that the time is here, I’m really doing it, my heart is so full as I sit here ready to give God the praise He deserves!
It all started when my husband left home for the 6th or 7th time. There were so many times that he left me, I lost count. In the early days, I even found relief when he'd leave because I was suffering a lot with him when he was home. But the last time he left, that night I inexplicably began to feel something different about me, I understood that God wanted me to fight for my marriage once again, but this time He was saying it would be different.
So I asked the Lord, still very lost in my feelings, for Him to direct me to something that would help me get through this painful situation once and for all. It was then that the Holy Spirit touched me and led me to look for an old testimony of a missionary that someone had sent me months ago. The testimony was on Facebook, and I was amazed because it was just that morning I reactivated my Facebook after I had disabled it for a few weeks. I was afraid to see things on my husband's profile that would hurt me (because I knew something was going on I didn't want to face). I finally found the testimony and in the middle of it, there was a link to a book called How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I was impressed with the statement of the title and decided to continue following His leading me, believing it was the direction I had asked the Lord for.
I started reading the book and realizing how wrong I was in my marriage, which was a shock because I thought that only he was wrong. I practically read the whole book in two days, writing down the verses and phrases that had the most to do with what I was going through. I felt an almost unbearable lump in my chest and throat. I cried all night, and I began to miss him for the first time ever.
At the same time, I remembered bad things he was doing to me and still felt like the poor victim. The first week I was also led to read the Bible sometimes until two in the morning plus reading from Erin's book and her website where I enrolled in Course 1. Erin's Be Encouraged eVideos were also answers to my questions and whenever I was going through something where I didn't know how to act, I watched the videos and there were all the answers I needed. God was in this, directing me, using Erin and this ministry as I traveled along this journey.
How did God change your situation, Kinsey, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
God was molding me according to His will and each situation I encountered served to change me day by day. I could already feel peace even with him gone and without any news of what he was doing or where he was. When I was distressed, I read the testimonies of other women who'd come through this or worse. Many touched me a lot and taught me how to have faith and just let him go.
Letting go was very difficult. No longer talking to friends about my situation was also very difficult, but ultimately it was a release and immense freedom. I prayed and read the Word every day, several times a day. God was beginning to show me where I needed to change. Then it was time to realize how that change would happen. Excitedly I approached my Heavenly Husband, this time with all my heart. Yes, He became everything and every One to me. This was the part of my journey when He was with me every day and throughout the night. When I truly became His bride is when everything changed.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Kinsey, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I learned many principles that I believe were crucial to my personal restoration and also for my marriage. One of them was winning without a word. I realized that our many discussions I forced on my husband did not change anything but actually made everything worse in our relationship. Another was letting him go. I disappeared from his sight, I didn't answer any of the messages that he had sent me during the first few weeks.
Unfortunately, I had a relapse and went back to his Facebook and saw that he had changed the status of married to single and removed all the photos of us together. I thought he was already living his single life while I was crying for our marriage, which was the final blow that convinced me I needed a Heavenly Husband who I knew adored me and would "never leave or forsake me." Once again I deleted Facebook and went back to dedicating myself only to seek God and do His will—making my HH first in my life and heart.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Kinsey?
The second week into my journey is when I found out that he had erased our memories from the social network and thought himself "no longer married." It was the hardest time, but through the Courses, the testimonies, the reading of Psalms and Proverbs, and both the devotionals, I came through it. I didn't have my HH then, not yet, so it was one of the most difficult things I needed to come through while staying on the right course. Erin taught me that I was rescuing myself, by no longer fighting in the flesh, instead, standing by while God fought for me.
Of course, several weeks later, I had another relapse (after my Facebook mess) because I was very afraid of him being with someone else. I didn't reactivate my Facebook, but I looked when someone showed me from their phone that he had added two strange women from his past. My world collapsed and I battled a thousand new things that went round and round in my head. It was the worst thing, so stupid I fell for it. After the battle was won, by turning to Him in a new and greater way (I was on the 2nd Abundant Life course by this time), I recovered and went back to doing everything that Erin taught and did not let the doubt overtake me. Believing that I'd messed up too much or that I should try something different than the course He'd set for me, I believed the truth that He brought me here for a reason.
That day, I watched a video and read something that comforted me, where Erin said that when everything seemed to get worse, it was because the restoration was near and the enemy wanted to take my focus off the path.
Kinsey, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
At this point in my journey, I read in the book that I needed to find two people to fast with me because the three-fold cord does not break. That day I received another message from him saying if he could come to our house on Saturday to get his documents. I said yes, and I contacted two people I trust to fast for three days with me. We fasted and waited for Saturday to ask God to direct me in everything, what to say, how to dress, to listen more than speak and do everything that God instructed me to do.
Tell us HOW it happened, Kinsey? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Kinsey, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Although he had arranged to pick up the documents to file for divorce, I was very afraid of ruining everything, but God had already done the hard work in me, completely changing me. That contentious woman had died, and I was ready to forgive and ask for forgiveness, even if he insisted on divorce. I was ready for anything because my trust in my Heavenly Husband was greater than anything—I knew that He would do the best. I had determined this would be a new harder phase of my journey. I never thought for a moment that this would be the day, my restoration would happen.
So on Saturday, I prepared my house, bathed as Queen Esther had to prepare herself for her task. I asked if he came, if he did show up, my husband would walk in and feel overwhelming peace. I finished getting ready and perfumed myself because my HH told me that we were going to have a wonderful night of love. Even though I thought it was crazy, I obeyed my Lord. He also directed me to go to the bakery and buy his favorite snack because he would be hungry and would lunch with me that day. Again, as crazy as it felt, I did so, fully trusting what my HH was saying to me. I turned on my Love Song and began to fall in love with my Beloved like never before. I told my HH that I wanted Him. He was all I wanted, all I needed, all I lived for.
When he finally arrived, I asked him to please come in using a sweet voice. He said he was just there to get his documents. He was calm but I could see he was afraid. So I felt that I should ask him to sit down and talk. To my surprise, he accepted and listened to me. I said I didn't want a divorce and I apologized for some things I did that I remembered at the time, but that if divorce would make him happy, then I would be happy to sign. I told him he was free to go and how happy I was. He listened to me and after I finished, he said he forgave me. He said that during those weeks away from me, he had been thinking a lot and that he had seen how much he had been wrong what he'd done to me. He asked me to forgive him and the hate-wall fell.
As I continued to listen, winning without a word, he asked me if I would accept him back. I smiled and knew that I was witnessing the beginning of the restoration of our marriage. Feeling my HH again, I got up and walked over to sit next to him, and without saying a word, I stroked him on the cheek. He was reluctant at first, but then tears filled his eyes as he caressed my face and we hugged each other. It was all so beautiful and romantic, I could feel the presence of my Heavenly Love there with me. I was loving my earthly husband with the love of my Heavenly Husband.
We had our moment of love as if it were intimate for the first time. Afterward, we listened to the praise music (he'd ask me to turn it on) and peace washed over us. We said nothing, just felt each other's presence and His presence was there with us.
A few hours later, he said he was hungry and I laughed when I remembered what my HH had told me to do. I prepared his lunch and sat in silence as he ate. In my heart, I thanked my Heavenly Husband over and over that day because my earthly husband was there, with me. While laying on his side of the bed, he said that he loved me. It was the dream He'd promised. It was faster than I thought and what I had prepared myself for. All I can say is that everything Erin teaches in her free courses, in her books, and in her videos work. I obeyed and trusted God, not Erin because I knew that all the principles she lovingly taught were for me to learn. I came to my appointed time in my life and trusted God to restore my marriage.
My marriage was restored to the honor and glory of the name of the Lord! Thank you, Erin and all the women who make up her Ministry Team. I keep taking the courses and reading the materials because my husband is not saved yet, but I think he will soon be after completing the SS course. Each of the courses aren't just for restoration but helping us be better women and find true love at last. A love only our HH can give us!
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Kinsey?
I recommend the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book and even if you’ve read the book, go through Course 1 to get started. To stay on course, reading Psalms and Proverbs and devotionals daily. Be Encouraged eVideos for comfort. Then, it’s important to find your Heavenly Love by going through each of the Abundant Life Courses.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Kinsey?
Either way, Kinsey, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Give your life totally to God. Next, give your heart to your Heavenly Husband. Only He cares for you and will never forsake you. You need this kind of love to make the changes necessary. Get away from people who tell you to give up and take care of your life yourself. Don't investigate his life, let him go. Get off Facebook until you can use it for good to minister to women. Follow everything that is taught in the book. Do not listen to rumors or lies. Do not doubt why God brought you here. Remember, nothing is impossible for God.
Find more encouragement and overcome the hurdle of #WWW "won without a word" #Letting Go “letting go” and #Contentious Woman “Contentious Woman” by clicking on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.