True Freedom

I have been putting off submitting praise reports for a couple of months, and I am sorry for that.

I only just started Day 1 of course 2, but just going through course 1, "How God Will Restore Your Marriage" and the restored marriage testimonies, I am so encouraged. When all this started, I had no idea what to do. I love my (technically ex-)wife so much. She is the only woman I have ever truly loved, and I want to spend my life with her. I didn't know how to proceed. All I knew was that I needed God in my life.

I grew up in a Christian home, and I knew many Bible verses and often studied through YouTube and other sources various Biblical topics, but I did not really have a personal relationship with Him. I didn't know how to. But the Restore book showed me the way. As a sort of road map to relevant scripture, I became so convicted of my sin that I began to really seek God to change me, to change my heart, and He is doing just that!

When my wife first started this divorce process, I didn't know what to do at all. Should I look to get remarried quickly? Should I wait a couple of years? Should I wait until my children are adults? What does God want me to do? This ministry and the Restore book taught me exactly what God wants me to do. SEEK HIM! Nothing else, but Seek Him. "But Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:33)

If I had been seeking Him from day 1, I'm sure that none of this would have happened. But just as every other restored marriage testimony I have read about, God has allowed this for a time so that I can draw near to Him, and He can work in my heart. He has taken away the things which have distracted me from Him, giving me no choice but to lean into Him. Though this pain of my wife leaving me and breaking up our family (we have 2 little boys, 4 and 1-1/2) seems impossible to live through, His strength has made me strong, and given me the ability to make it through this, and even come out stronger on the other side BECAUSE of His strength in me. I've even learned to be thankful to God for allowing this trial to come into my life so that I can learn how to lean on Him truly and completely so that I can be sure of my salvation like I never have been before.

As I read the Restore book and lean into God, learning what His word really tells us, I learn that His will is never for remarriage. When God revealed this to me through this book, I realized how incredibly free that makes me. I don't have to worry about when God wants me to move on, I don't have to worry about dating someone and it doesn't go well, or we connect really well but she doesn't get along with the kids, or everything seems great for a year or two of dating, but then we go through the heartbreak of breaking up, and my children never get to see her again and they're heartbroken. I don't have to worry about any of that, as long as my (ex)wife is alive. I just worry about me, God, and my boys, and God will take care of the rest. If He wants me to be with someone who isn't (ex)wife, then He will call (ex)wife home to be with Him. Until then, I am free to focus on Him, myself, and my children. The word of the Lord is true freedom.

Matthew 6:33, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

Psalm 88:8,18 "You have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out." "You have taken from me friend and neighbor—darkness is my closest friend."

Malachi 2:14-15, "'Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.'"

~ Reuben in Oregon