Dear Brides, this Chapter 15 “Utterly Lovesick” is especially for those of you that have been on your Restoration Journey for a very long time and you are perfectly happy with where you are now in your life. You may have asked the Lord so many questions, please read this chapter to help set your mind at ease.
The first RYM book I read did not have the back cover story in so when I found out that the writer went through a second divorce, I was shocked like I am sure most are when they read it and then the enemy comes in to try and convince you of things, but when you are near the Lord and you trust in Him alone then you know that we each have our path to walk with Him and my path may not be the same as yours or the next person, but as long as the end result is the same: You finding your Heavenly Husband and spending eternity with Him, then the road to this destination is between You and Him and the world will judge you, but if you have that peace that surpasses ALL understanding, none of that will matter.
LOL, what have I been struggling with? For a long year, I felt utterly exhausted and to tell you the honest truth I am still recuperating from driving myself mad with overthinking everything. I went through all the scenarios with my Husband because I came to a point where I felt so happy in my life that I did not want restoration anymore and it’s still not my heart’s desire. My head was spinning with so many thoughts. Lord, I am letting you down because I don’t this? Lord, what about my dear children, they are still so young? Am I pitching my tent outside the promised land? Does this mean that I do not have faith in my Heavenly Husband, that I do not think Him capable of doing this? What about my FH’s “Former Husband” soul, am I doing him an injustice of not wanting this and a million more questions. I believe I made myself sick with worrying about all of this. I felt so guilty for not wanting restoration anymore. And you know it is not that I am angry with my FH because I am not, in fact, I still love him very much and I respect him for taking such good care of our children. He has many great qualities, but I am happy. I am perfectly content to spend my life with my Heavenly Husband alone. And then after wrestling with the Lord about all of this and making myself sick and tired as amazing as He is, one day came and He showed me that I should not have faith in having my marriage restored, I should have faith that He loves me and He will do what is best for His kingdom and all I have to do is trust Him and know that He knows best:)
My beloved is mine, and I am His . . . When I found Him whom my soul loves; I held on to Him and would not let Him go . . . For I am lovesick. —Song of Solomon 3:2–4; 5:8
I love this verse, it always reminds me of the book Hind’s Feet on High Places. I can see the picture in my head of myself and my Beloved walking on the green fields covered with flowers:)
So this is what I will do, I will wait on Him and I will trust in Him and whatever He decides to do. I will have faith that it is part of His plan. And lately, He has revealed some of His plan for me, but now is not the appointed time to share this.
Let’s pray as we each walk with Him: Oh my dearest Heavenly Husband, thank You so much for showing me that I am not the only one that feels this way and I know our circumstances are different but I also know that You are in charge of everything. You have it all under control. All I have to do is be still and know that You are God. My Heavenly Husband, my Everything. I also say as I always do my dear Lord, I will do Your will no matter what You expect from me. I am Yours.
Dear Brides, what is very important to know is that we each have our own walk with our Heavenly Husband. He made us all unique which means each of our circumstances will be just a little different. Our destination though is the same, having to spend eternity with Him.