Our dear Heavenly Husband sure knows what we need even though we do not!
A week ago I woke up in such a bad mood. This seldom happens to me. I will not call myself a morning person but if I wake up before everyone and just take some time alone with Him I am good to go for the rest of the day:)
But this morning, for some reason, I just felt that I could not face the world. So I said, “Lord please lead me, what can I read to make me feel better/” Oh, and I have to laugh because He led me to Genesis, not Psalms.
And of course I know what is best for me, so I said, “Lord, what will I find in Genesis to help me feel better!?!” Still, I went to Genesis and read about Cain and Abel. “Lord, how can this be You, why would You let me read this?”
And then suddenly He showed me. I even marked the passage in my bible a few years ago. You all know the story, but what the Lord showed me is that when Cain had all these emotions of anger and downheartedness – I translated this word from what is in my Afrikaans bible “neerslagtig”. Such a beautiful word that just explains it all – downheartedness.
So what the Lord showed me was that when Cain felt like this, instead of running to God and telling Him, he acted on these feelings by killing his brother.
Hahaha, so instead of cheering me up, He decided I need to be taught something. I needed to be taught that feeling this way is sometimes okay, but acting on it is not!
I kept on feeling that way the whole day and only started feeling better the next day. But with His help and it can only be Him, I kept my mouth shut. Not saying anything that I might later regret.
I love Him so very much, the way He guides and teaches me. The way He knows me and knows what I need. The way He provides for me.
There is a poem I have always loved and when I think of my Heavenly Husband I always think of the first few lines of this poem. It says: “How do I love thee, let me count the ways, I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach…” There will never be enough words to count the ways in which I LOVE You my dearest Lord…
Genesis 4:6-7 (NIV)
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
Look at the last part: “It desires to have you, but you must rule over it”