♕Today's Promise: “No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married.” Isaiah 62:4
Mariska, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
My journey began 4 years ago, but 6 years ago I opened the doors to the enemy by having an extramarital relationship with another man and well, although I repented at the time and stopped doing it, the consequences remained. God is a God fair and good because although my sin was hidden it had to be brought to light because he who covers his sin never prospers. One afternoon on the day of our 13th wedding anniversary and after an interrogation from me because Gerald confessed to me that he was seeing the OW (other woman), it was the most devastating day and after many suspicions on my part because I already heard it from his mouth.
I found out about the Ministry a year and a half after knowing this and I started the book on How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage which says everything we should NOT do. Well I was arrogant, contentious, controlling, domineering, rebellious etc. I started taking the courses, the sister insisted that it was what was going to renew our minds and that we had to be radical and well these words resonated in my head until I finally started doing them and wow, everything started to change.
First of all, my life and above all I started looking for the Lord with all my heart to make Him my HH (Heavenly Husband), and there was a whole year of which most of the time Gerald and I had almost no contact, but my restoration started after that, 6 months totally we had no communication at all trying to apply all the principles learned, after that period God began to turn his heart bringing him here from time to time communicating, allowing intimacy, and well it was a year totally full of putting into practice what I learned in the courses and trying to pass the tests at all times knowing that God is in control. That He does not leave the throne nor do the situations that happened to me take me by surprise. He was still in control of this journey of restoration of salvation and redemption.
How did God change your situation, Mariska, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
I fell in love with Him, with my beloved Lord, He began to fill me with love songs, He began to talk to me about real love. He became a romantic boyfriend, we spent a lot of time together in adoration, in prayer, learning, reading, and above all, bringing Hope to other women in despair and many times He reminded me that my eyes should only be on Him, that I should not turn around so that I would not sink like Peter.
He also told me that when I searched for Him with all my heart I would find Him and well I understood that to search wholeheartedly was to stop looking for Him because of what He could do for me or for my marriage, but to go looking for Him because of who He was, because of His person for making it so evident as a Heavenly Husband. We began to have communication as Husband and bride. I wanted to get to know my Beloved more and more every day. I began to ask Him things, like what His favorite color was, what He liked about me, He really answered all that, because He is sweet. We talked like 2 lovers. One day He told me that He sees me beautiful, I told Him you are beautiful and divine. He told me that He is in love with me and I answered Him I want to love you until the end. He sees me as something worth dying for, and I told Him that He is my reason for living. Your words make me feel loved, alive, happy and joyful.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial, Mariska?
Confess my infidelity and also ask for forgiveness for my way of being manipulative etc. It wasn't easy but I prayed to the Lord and he set the right time.
Apologize to my relatives. God directed me to ask them for forgiveness for speaking only of the sins of Gerald and not speaking of mine.
Leaving the church was something that I did. Since course 2 I understood it and God confirmed it to me in His word and well I was leaving ministry by ministry asking God for direction. The last thing I left was the group at home or cell.
And well, the course tells us that this principle of letting go of the church, and our indecision is the same as they have to leave the OW, within half an hour of handing over this position, God supported me and brought Gerald to visit.
Beloved, I did everything that are fundamental principles, and one of the first that I obeyed was leaving work and being a housewife.
I left the church and well it was a hard process but today I thank God for giving me the courage to do it. For not being afraid of what my sisters from the church were going to say. I know that God will speak to each one of you about this. I am only an instrument in His hands because it pleases Him. Because without Him I am nothing. I opened my heart so you can understand what it is like. It is something totally not half with the Lord.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Mariska?
Well there was a stage of letting go that was six months. God let me know in a dream, it said 6 weeks but it was six completed months in which I did not see Gerald at all. I did not speak to him at all. God controlled my circumstances and it was a very very difficult process because I have a 4-year-old who cried and told me that he wanted to talk to his father.
I told my Beloved to help me because I decided to obey Him and let go. Although I saw my baby crying for wanting to talk to his daddy because, well, in this process he has lived with him very little because when the process began he was 3 months old. Well, at the time God brought him and from there he began to come a little more. I began to see the move of God in him although even so many things did not seem to change. Once in a while he would come and he would call us a little more often. This was the most painful moment to see your children wanting to know about their father and you believing God with all your heart, obeying.
Mariska, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
Well, the crucial moment of my restoration began approximately Christmas week. God put it in the heart of Gerald to spend that day with us, he told me what he wanted for dinner and what he wanted me to buy. Gerald even agreed to come a few days before but exactly one week before Christmas they sent him to a course which, well, made my heart sad. I trust in God and I told Him that even if it was true or not, that course, I would stay with Him and that he would support me in this test.
I did not comment on anything I did not say anything and God showed me that the course was true that my husband spent the whole week there coming out of each class because he called me. God showed His favor enormously but exactly a few days before Christmas God confirmed to me in His word in Isaiah 62:4, that the restoration was already coming, but my husband did not show signs for about 3 days. And that was when God spoke to me, I told Him, Lord, speak to me, and well, that is what my beloved HH told me.
Tell us HOW it happened, Mariska? Did Gerald just walk in the front door? Mariska, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Well, after he spent Christmas at home plus 3 more days giving us the opportunity to spend time together, he commented that he would bring his suitcases, he had to gather his belongings and, well, God allowed him to come back. I trusted Him and His word confirmed the One who began a good work would finish it, Philippians 1:6.
Well about 2 months ago one afternoon crossing a street I remembered how many walls had already fallen, between Gerald and I, and I said well my Beloved, if we talk more, if you allow intimacy and we get along better every day, well then it could be said that we are already Restored. I practically told Him like this, otherwise it could be said that my Marriage is Restored.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Mariska?
I recommend all courses absolutely, but especially God spoke strongly to me through Course 2. I found many answers of spiritual laws that I did not know. How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage because it brings conviction. The Wise Woman is a manual to build your house on the rock. Finding the Abundant Life is a delight. There is something beautiful in each of the courses.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Mariska?
Yes
Either way, Mariska, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being and with all your mind, so he can protect every area of our lives. He will protect our thoughts, and he can also protect our heart and if our whole being is in Him then there is the safest place.
