RYR – CHAPTER 2

Restore Your Relationships - Chapter 2 - Trust and Obey

Stop all arguing! This one principle will be a deciding factor as to whether your relationship will be restored. There are so many Scriptures on this topic, pages and pages I could type out for you. Here are just a few: “Agree with your adversary quickly!” (Matt. 5:25, KJV). “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1). “The beginning of strife is like letting out of water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out” (Prov. 17:14). “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise . . .” (Prov. 17:28). STOP talking to the other person about the problems in your relationship—just be quiet, and if you must say something, say something kind!

How long? Many women have asked me “how long” their situation will linger or “how long” their trial will continue. It may help you if you think about this crisis as a journey. How long it takes often depends on you. As the Lord shows you an area that He is working on, work with Him. Do not become sidetracked with everyday life. Satan will bring in “the cares of the world” in order to choke the Word out of you. He also will bring situations, emergencies, and other crises that will divert your attention away from your destination—your restoration and testimony!

When I started with this course, I didn't think I needed healing much with the relationship that I have with my parents, but I just love the plans my Darling has with me doing this course.

I have to admit when my dad would fight with my mother, I always wanted to protect my mother, but by arguing with my dad to stop him, it really just made my dad very angry and of course did nothing good to the situation. I was a fool that quarreled!

The last time I visited my parents I have to admit I couldn’t keep quiet when my dad got upset (my dad stresses quickly and grew up with abuse) and I made things worse because I didn’t keep quiet, I just stirred up a lot of anger. After a huge fight my Darling reminded me of Won Without a Word. This time my parents came to visit me and we are searching for a place to stay but it is taking long so both my parents are so stressed and again my dad got upset, but this time my Darling helped me keep quiet and I ran to spend time with my Darling and it was He that helped me to keep quiet and win without a word. And guess what, the situation didn’t explode, all because of my Darling.

I understand now why so many situations in my life took so long, because it really depended on me, because it took so long for me to work with our wonderful Lord and because I tried it too many times my way and yes it was the bad way. I give my Darling Lord all the glory and praise for letting me realize that I had to change and that He is the One helping me to change, because I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own.

14 thoughts on “RYR – CHAPTER 2”

  1. Dear Janine,

    thanks for posting this chapter. For me a confirmation of what my Heavenly Man recently placed in my heart. Recently, the communication between me and my former husband has become more and more verbal. Where previously communication often took place via messages or emails, my Beloved has opened the door for more physical and oral communication. This is going quite well. However, I have noticed that at times I feel in my heart that He is letting me know that I have used too many words. Or tried to defend or justify myself. Just as you say. Winning Without Words is what He desires.

    For me a reason to re-read the chapter from the book “A Wise Woman” chapter 6, https://hopeatlast.com/c3/day-5-chapter-6-a-contentious-woman/ and chapter 3 https://hopeatlast.com/c3/day-8-chapter-3-a-gentle-and-quiet-spirit/

    Both very wise chapters that we as women adorn ourselves with when we please Him with this.

    Much Love

    1. Kristine being in the same situation as you, having to co-parent, I know it can sometimes be difficult. My fh and I have a peaceful co-parenting relationship, but since I moved here and see him more often (I am not in the protective bubble with my HH anymore 😁) I am bombarded with the reality of the situation, having to hear all about their happy life. The first month it was difficult, but I gave everything to my HH, while keeping quiet and remaining gentle and quiet. (https://hopeatlast.com/c3/day-8-chapter-3-a-gentle-and-quiet-spirit/ and https://hopeatlast.com/c3/day-10-chapter-5-won-without-a-word/). But I realized during the last month or so that my HH took everything away and it doesn’t bother me anymore, I can just listen and agree enthusiastically 🙂 (https://hopeatlast.com/c3/fda-chapter-5-beyond-agreement/).

  2. Dear Janine, I love this course because we need healing in every single relationship we have! And I learned a lot about healing my relationship with a lot of family members. I must confess is hard. Because our family knows how to push our bottoms better than anyone! This chapter is so good and helped me to understand a lot of things better: Chapter 16. Verbal Vomit: https://loveatlast.org/ryr/c16 and of course this one Chapter 6. Tell it to Your Husband: https://loveatlast.org/ryr/c6, they keep giving a lot of encouragement through my daily life journey! Praise Him!

    1. I also love this course dear Isabella, I love this journey with my Darling, He is learning me so much. I will for sure due the courses, thank you.

  3. Dear Janine, thank you for sharing. I could relate to so many things mentioned in the chapter. From this journey I realized how much healing I needed to move forward.

    1. Isn’t it wonderful how our Darling gives us the necessary tools to help us realize where we need healing and He does all the healing, our best ever Healer dear Gioia.

  4. Thank you Janine for sharing . 💕 A reminder to me that our weakness is when His power is made perfect in us.

    I begged the Lord three times to take this problem away from me. But the Lord said to me, “My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, then my power is made perfect in you.” So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can live in me. So I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles. All these things are for Him. And I am happy, because when I am weak, then I am truly strong. 2Co12:8

  5. Thank you Janine for sharing your heart, winning without a word was difficult for me. Also having to watch my parent fight and later on working in a man’s world (engineering) I thought I had to fight back and stand up for myself, and I carried that mentality into many areas of my life, including my marriage. But during my journey my Husband changed so many things in my life, and I must say I was shocked the first time I kept quiet and actually had no desire to say anything or fight back or to stand up for myself. But that is when I realized how much my Husband changed me, not me, Him when He placed me on the Potter’s Wheel and I am still a work in progress. But I saw the incredible power of winning without a word and how it can change situations around, especially in my co-parenting relationship with my fh.

    1. Dear Adina, I also thought I must stand up for myself and for others, but I was so wrong, because didn’t have to fix any situation, I see now I can just let go into the hands of my Darling and relax.

  6. ciertamente Él es maravilloso, si tarda algo en nuestra vida es por nosotras no por nuestro amor.
    Él ha venido cambiando cada relación de mi vida, y aún queda mucho que me ha pedido hacer y me he distraido en el camino, en el afán de los días, pero hoy me comprometo a no soltarme de mi amor hasta que me transforme en la mujer que Él está creando en mi. basta escucharlo y obedecer.

    1. Eli’s comment: Certainly He is wonderful, if He takes something in our lives it is because of us, not because of our love.
      He has been changing every relationship in my life, and there is still a lot that He has asked me to do and I have been distracted along the way, in the rush of the days, but today I promise not to let go of my love until it transforms me into the woman that He is creating in me. just listen to it and obey.
      ——————–
      He is for sure very wonderful precious Eli, I can never ever be one second without Him. He is all I want, He is all I need, He is all I live for (https://loveatlast.org/).

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