Pilar, how did your restoration actually begin?
My restoration journey began a year ago in April, when my EH, over the phone, told me we needed to take some time apart from each other. He told me he needed his freedom and was tired of all the fighting and all the arguments. I was shocked especially since this had happened 2 years before but back then I didn't know about RMI, so I didn't know what to do (but thanks to my Beloved) I know now.
My HH did restore my marriage to my EH once before, but once again I was that foolish, contentious women who tore her house down with her own hands, and once again there was another OW.
As the days went by, after the conversation we had over the phone, I began asking questions, demanding answers, screaming, snooping on Facebook, telling EH he was going to regret everything and it would probably be too late, and even though I never told my family about what was going on. Back then, I did get my in-laws involved (we all live in the same house) since we had gotten really close and they weren't always ok with the things he did. I also let my sister-in laws know what was happening and right away they took my side. Even though I am very grateful with them for always being there for me, I now know I did everything wrong and I have repented for it because I put my EH's own family against him.
I would try to put a strong face in front of everyone, but inside I was broken. God was using the most important thing for me to catch my attention, the thing I would even brag about loving more than anything in this world, which was my family. My heart was with my family before being with my Beloved, but sure enough My Love got all my attention:)
How did God change your situation Pilar as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
I began to search, asking God for answers. I was very confused and hurt. One day as I was searching the web for prayers, I typed in the word restoration (can't remember and I'm not even sure why). There were several testimonies of women whose marriages got restored all thanks to the love and grace of God. I kept searching and then I came to the RMI website, which right away caught my attention and that's when God began His work in me. He opened up my blind eyes to the truth and I began to see that all these years I was the one who had been wrong. It was hard not to see what my EH was doing, but now I was seeing the faults that were in ME and I no longer wanted to point the finger at him.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Pilar, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I began to keep my mouth shut just like my HH was teaching me to do. Believe me it was (and still is) very difficult but not impossible, Matthew 19:26, “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’”
I also began to agree and be submissive to my EH and that was not easier either. We had different conversations about what was going on in our marriage and the first few were very difficult because I would hear from my EH how he had fallen in love with the OW and no longer had any feelings towards me. But praise the Lord, once I began to agree with him, and tell him that I loved him and just wanted him to be happy and I respected his decisions—he went from telling me he no longer loved me, to him feeling confused and then not being happy ever since he left the house. I could see the hate wall come down right away. At times he even told me he only felt comfortable and happy being home with us (me and our daughters) but he just couldn't come back home and wasn't fully sure why. But I did know why, it was because my Beloved knew it wasn't time. For his time is perfect.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Pilar?
The most difficult was when I found out about the OW. I felt like my whole life was falling apart and the enemy with his schemes and lies made me believe that my EH was moving on from me and our three daughters, and that his heart now belonged to her. What I realized after I got farther along in my journey, was that what my EH was doing to me, was what I had done to my lovely HH it hurt me to realize how unfaithful I had been to Him! I cried and repented for it and I know in my heart that my HH forgave me without a doubt.
Then my EH began spending more time with the OW and her kids than with his own. I couldn't believe he was wasting money on them and riding them in the cars that (back then I used to think) were "MY DAUGHTERS, MINE." It was hard to let go of all of that, but thanks to my Lord I started to and that’s when things changed.
Pilar, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
Through my RJ (only the Lord knows why and I know that's where HE wanted me) I was able to see, hear, and witness a lot of the things, text messages, happy moments, arguments, just the whole relationship with my EH and the OW.
I began to pray, asking my HH to help me just let go of my EH and our marriage, that now I knew in my heart I only wanted HIM and didn't want anything to bother or hurt me anymore. I would talk to Him about how sometimes I felt more comfortable with my EH being away than at home, things just felt awkward when we were together.
Tell us HOW it happened Pilar? Did your husband just walk in the front door?
My EH did go live with his sister, but never completely left. He kept going back and forth from his sister’s to being back home with us. He would also go back and forth from telling me to move on and find someone better than him who deserved me, to telling me I wasn't allowed to be with anybody else and not to even think about talking or texting with anybody, meaning another guy.
Like I mentioned before, I was able to see and witness a lot of what happened in my EH's relationship with the OW, and with that I was able to see how sour their relationship began to turn. “Bitter as wormwood.” They would have fights more and more. My EH began to stay home more, even though he would say in many different occasions that he would not be coming home anymore (me just leaving it in my Love’s hands) he would always return for one reason or another. My EH's arguments with the OW would only get worse and worse until one day she just came, and she went, just like that, completely gone and my EH completely returned home. All glory, honor, and praise to God the Father and His Son, my HH.
My marriage has been restored and there's still a lot more about my journey, but it would take a long time to write everything down. But what I can tell you is that our HH husband loves us and He is, has and always will be here for us! Ladies we must believe, have faith and trust in our Lord and Savior and Husband, who gave His life for us to live abundantly.
Pilar, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
I already had my HH's promise that HE would restore my marriage and I believed in His promise, so I knew it would happen. But I honestly thought it would take longer and didn't feel completely prepared. I felt and feel that there is still a lot more work to be done not only in my family but in me, especially me! But I trust that God will finish the work He began in me and my family.
Things have not been easy since EH returned home as our lessons tell us over and over. It’s a new season in my restoration. I am faced with new difficult trials— but I know my Love is with me and He will not leave me nor forsake me. And now I tell my HH all the time "HE is all that I want, all that I need, and if I have Him, I will have everything that I need."
Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Pilar?
I would recommend the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book and A Wise Woman book. I would also recommend the free RRR online courses, even though I confess I've struggled with finishing the courses, but will continue Finding the Abundant Life, because it has been such an incredibly big help —so definitely I recommend them all.
Do you have favorite Bible verses Pilar that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?
Mark 10:27
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”
Luke 17:33
Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Ecclesiastes 3
[ A Time for Everything ] There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, ...
Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Pilar?
I am absolutely interested in helping other women!!
Either way Pilar, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
My marriage has been restored and there's still a lot more to come in my journey, but it would take a long time to write everything down. But what I can tell you is that our HH, our Husband loves us and HE is, has and always will be here for us. Ladies we must believe, have faith and trust in our Lord and savior, who gave his life for us and experience His love while we journey.
