Through a new lesson I have learned that the abundant life my HH wants for me is what my soul longs for, but I did not understand. I acknowledge that letting go is difficult. We also face the obstacles of the world and all those “thoughts” we also believed the path we should follow as modern women. But if I’ve got my HH, so I have everything; nothing else really matters in my life.
My fight is mental, my whole battle has been in my mind, between thoughts and darts of the enemy, my feelings, and then there’s the Truth I learn that calms me. I see that I can help by hiding the truth in my heart and when I do, I find I have an even more intimate relationship with Him. And He can generate a much greater confidence in me. When I begin to see that there is more communication, more answers from Him, I see my personal transformation and know what’s most important is to love our HH with all our hearts.
Well, so, this Sunday something happened. I read a new Abundant Life chapter first, and I was so excited after having spent a night crying because my EH lied in order to leave for 4 days. I want so much to no longer have my EH hurt me, but unfortunately, it still hurts. The fact is while suffering in my pain I asked my Beloved to do something for me. I felt tired and I really wanted to just pay for my lunch.
Sunday, I read the lesson again on tithing and I decided to re-read once more and pour out my heart into my journal about my fear to begin to tithe. But before I cleaned my house and I started to do this, I decided to buy my lunch. Well on my way back home, someone robbed me and stole my bag with my license and my cell phone! When I saw that my bag was being carried away by the mugger, I decided not to run after him (also he was on a bike), and then I remembered the verse, “Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.” Matthew 5:42. Although the man didn’t “ask” He did remind me He also says before this in Matthew 5:39 “But I say to you, do not resist an evil person.” I did not really understand, so the first thing I said was “Lord, why did you allow this ?” And that’s when I remembered He had been speaking to me about tithing so often, but I pulled back, and this how it happened, that the devourer had permission for this horrible thing to happen!
Immediately I repented and told the Lord that I would tithe the moment I was paid again, and go back to pay from the time He’s first told me to. Immediately He began to cause incredible things to happen.
But first, I realized that in my bag were my keys too, so I could not enter my house, which was terrible. To make everything worse, remember I said my EH had gone away for 4 days, and where he went was really far away. He told me he would return on Saturday, but I knew this wasn’t true. I heard from friends he wouldn’t come back until Monday night. That’s when I thought about my dog that had been locked up in the house and I had to ask for help from my neighbors. (Later I found out) that they kindly tried to communicate with my EH, but he did not answer them. Nevertheless, with the help of my neighbors, I managed to get into my apartment.
Then I realized my credit cards were in my purse, so before my neighbors left my home, I contacted my sister on her facebook to help me to call the bank to block the card. She was very distressed (and I found out later) that she began calling my EH, but he did not respond. When he finally answered, she rebuked him yelling “Why aren’t you at home taking care of my sister?” She did not know that he was home so many nights. My EH had asked me not to say anything to his mom or my family. I knew I would be embarrassing to him, so I told him I would never tell anyone anything. But things came to light in this way. Soon everyone was talking, no one believed he was working on the holiday!
The robbery was a few blocks from my house, and for the first time, my EH felt bad, felt horrible for leaving me alone for so long. For the first time in so long he asked me to forgive him, he felt guilty, and he said he knew he should have been with me. I spoke kindly and told him not to worry. He reached into his pocket and gave me money and told me to buy a SIM card for another older phone we had, so he could call to my other phone. So I did, and he called several times to find out about me.
When he returned on Monday night (yesterday) he rushed right in and hugged me, which I knew meant he still felt bad and I thought I had passed some sort of a test.
I realized that the love of my HH is infinite and forgiving, and He used this situation to teach me how important tithing really is, while at the same time He put the burden on my EH too. This loving act, after my rebellion, brought me so much comfort, and it proved that He does anything for me because I am His bride.
Although the storm has intensified, He has not abandoned me, but He’s still my side encouraging me and loving me! Oh, how good are you, Lord! Rather than complain, I praise Him because He did not let the enemy take my life, he only took my possessions, AND I know that the enemy can never take away my HH’s love!
Cultivating an intimate relationship with our HH is essential, so is following every principle. Now it’s something I’m more serious about, what I’ve been doing much more often. I also stopped asking for so much and focusing on what I wanted for my life. I feel much better knowing that He knows what is best for me, so now when I pray I just talk to Him more, about how I feel and what I think about, talk about the things that happen to me. Clearly my wisdom is nothing compared to Erin’s, but this praise report is the way I want to let everyone know what’s inside me and how He’s changing me with the help of this ministry.
~ Helen in Colombia