I Realize how NOT Alone I Now Feel

Church was always part of my life, both as a child and as a married woman and mother. It was often stressful--hurrying to get dressed in an acceptable way, fussing over 5 children and trying to get them in a car looking "perfect" enough for the church body. I was often so exhausted and preoccupied with containing children that I truly couldn't worship. Once my FH left (my children were all grown and married or in college), I felt uncomfortable at local churches. I always knew someone, and they would ask about my FH, then--if I could get the words out--I would be the recipient of much contradictory advice. So, I began to stay home on Sundays, and that became a beautiful thing.

Having been a mom of five and used to a house full of busyness, at first I was uncomfortable in the quiet, and I felt very alone. Yet, from time with Him, I remembered how alone I could feel when surrounded by many, and I realize how NOT alone I now feel, with my Heavenly Love at my side.

I was FREE to speak with my HH. I read His word, sang along with my music. Often, I was led to go for a walk in the botanical gardens or a local park. I would recite memory Psalms, using my phone as my index cards. When exhausted, I even stayed in my bed, reading my Bible and listening to Him. I truly felt His presence--and the comfort of His presence.

The “turning point” for me actually ENJOYING these times with Him was that I had to be humbled first and come to the realization that all my exhausting WORK was not going to hold the world together. I always felt responsible for everyone. I thought I was supposed to be exhausted, dragging my load. It was foolishness to try to do it myself. I was foolish enough to think our HH admired my hard work. 🙁 Instead, it was when I put down the load and acknowledged that HE is in charge and that He longs to carry our burdens...

Sundays can differ for me. Sometimes, I am visiting adult children, so I go along with them to their churches. I help with my grandkids and enjoy my time with other believers, but I am eager to be back spending time alone with my HH. Sometimes, He wakes me early and I am led to drive some distance to a beautiful place. Sometimes I sleep later and just spend a quiet time at home. I allow Him to send things my way, and I realize that He has plans for me, so I go with what comes my way.

My HH and I have a love song, “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion. Here are some of my favorite lyrics I would like to share with you:

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Dear Radiant Bride, the more time you spend with Him, the more peace and joy you will feel and the more your face will GLOW.

~ Beverly U. in Iowa

Prayer Team

I’m a tithing partner. Learn more.