I’m Currently Separated, taking Course 2 and want to Praise the Lord … Because things are changing in my life…it has been more or less 3 years that i have been battling and struggling with my marriage. But it was not until 2 years ago when things really went south and my husband unexpectedly said he did not Love me anymore and did not want anything to do with me and no matter what i did i just pushed him away even farther. he could not even stand being in the same room together with me. And like
And like many i thought he was seeing someone else and i was simply torn to pieces. my emotional state was awful, i cried myself to sleep and woke up the same. i could not fathom how my marriage was going down the drain. And of course i blamed everything on him simply because he did not want to work things out. it was not until i came across this wonderful material and this ministry did things began to be different.
I have experienced impatience, anger, hate, rudeness, resentment etc etc etc. in myself. I was there and it fell disgustingly horrible, to say the least …but when i started to read How God can and will restore your marriage book, right from the first chapter i was blown away. a huge weight had been lifted i instantly felt at peace. i discovered that there was still hope. I was already talking to God, praying getting on my knees and all that, but coming here i was able to attain a more in-depth relationship with my HH. my meetings with my God and my new HH got intense and i finally let go of the control. i was trying to have control over my life, my EH, my finances, everything. so in short, i gave in to all to my HH.
i also have been applying everything i can from the best course that i have taken. Let me tell you i have felt so much peace tranquility, grace, love, TRUST.
EVERY TIME I GET IMPATIENT. .. I just go over the promises HE has for us. with all this it is so hard to put in writing but i want to let you know that just like i just described how i feel NOW is how He responds to us. I have had many GOD SHOTs it’s incredible.
but my reason for today is this, my EH and i have not been intimate for more than 2 years (remember he couldn’t stand being in the same room with me). things have been going smoother between us but somehow i really felt like i needed that intimacy part with him ..you see for many reasons my husband does not live at home ..but he does come home on the weekends to spend time with his girls.
And at times he too comes 1 or 2 days during the week. This has been going on for about a year ever since our last conversation “about US” we remained friends so as hard as that has been i learned to respect that when he stays over he began with sleeping on the couch as time has transpired he occasionally would sleep in the same room with the girls and me. My girls and I had the bed and he was on the floor next to me, and that’s a huge progress, right?
I have continued to stay connected to my now HH, then a couple of weeks ago, i asked GOD to take what love i had for my husband and turn it in to love for my HH. all i wanted was my HH. I even felt like i no longer wanted to be with my EH and i was okay with that. I had finally felt content.
Now for whatever circumstances the moment I told God I only wanted my HH, things just turned around. Yesterday night my husband laid in the same bed, so i asked to my HH, i said “take over me, my body, my actions, my words. Let it be Your will, not mine.” Out of nowhere my husband immediately hugged me and asked if he can hug me.. i felt in heaven and said thank You, my HH… After I thanked my HH, my EH and I were intimate after almost 3 years.
This morning i woke up and did as i normal did, i did not mention anything and my EH didn’t either, but that’s okay. i know i have a long way to go on my journey but today i just felt victory for the first time. thank You, HH, for being with me every step of the way. i just felt like i need it to share this and to say to everyone, dont give up. We must continue believing in what we’re learning and continue on our journey and to each thank RM ministries. If God is with me who is against me?
~ Emma in Sedona