Dear Brides, please take time to devour and read Chapter 2 Finding the Abundant Life if you are having difficulties in your walk with the Lord as your Husband.
Matthew 6:33 King James Version (KJV) “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Revelation 2:4 “But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.”
Isaiah 54:10 “For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and My covenant of peace will not be shaken,” Says the Lord who has compassion on you.:
These verses had helped me gone through this chapter of finding my life. The past few days had been very steady for me and sometime later, I have experienced an attack from the enemy where I felt so hurt in my heart it is physically painful and the tears had just kept flowing it drowns me. I just lay in my prayer closet, speaking to my Love about everything that I am feeling and quoting ng his words when these feelings started to dissipate all over me.
I felt that as i become closer to my love and seek him for everything as He is my life and Husband, i was experiencing tougher emotional and mental attacks from the enemy and my faith was being tested for me to reach a point where i just give up. But i will definitely hold on to my love, i know i cannot do it but i pray to Him to not give up on me when i became weak in the flesh.
Like the author of the book, i came to this ministry because i was wanting my marriage restored and still, a part of me until now still longs for it. So i know my intimacy and relationship with the Lord as my HH is not yet where its supposed to be and i pray for him to help me get there, not because i LONGED for my EH, but because I’m tired of rejection and pain. I know how much i had forsaken and left my first love, the Lord, my HH but He never got tired of showing his compassion and mercy towards me. He had chosen me and i am deserving of this love and i accept it fully so i pray to Him to break me and change me, according to His will in my life, for me to be a Godly wife He wanted me to be.
Since starting this RJ, i had been through a roller coaster of emotions and did everything the world is telling me to FIX and FIGHT for my MARRIAGE. now i understand better, that this is not a Marriage Crisis but a SPIRITUAL one and i was the one who was weak and needed strengthening. My Marriage would not crumble if i had laid a foundation on the Rock but my faith was lukewarm and i fall into the net of my own sins and iniquities and a slave to the enemy back then.
When my Love took hold of me, the world and the life i knew turned upside down and before i knew it, everything ive held on for dear life has been taken away from me, only when you lose everything you will find something and TRUE MEANING of what this life is all about.
I thank my Love, the Lord that He still blesses me and provides for me, that i am not suffering financially and he sent people to aid in my condition but things are not the way they used to before. Somehow, i find contentment in my life and my walk with Him in this journey is becoming more fulfilling as days passes by. As trials get more difficult, i managed to get through each and every one of them gracefully than before, all i know is because of i have my faith and trust in him that He will not leave my side and that he assures me He is always there for me. I dont go to church anymore unless my EH asked me to go which is very very rarely, and i am much more at ease and at peace talking to my Love, my Lord and my saviour, the son of my father and my husband, at the comforts of my own room, my prayer closet, pouring everything out to Him. As a matter of fact, what excites me to go home is the fact that id be spending alone time with Him in our special place where i just can pour out my heart to Him and nothing makes me feel safer.
I’ve mentioned that the past few days had been very steady for me, i woke up one day, asking my Love, are You preparing me for something big because i know you are resting me. Although it was foolish to even try to understand His will for my life, He is the only one i can talk to and id rather talk to so i just pour out everything to him.
Later that day, when my love had showered me with abundance just like what i prayed for, Praise Him, i was put on a test of faith. I received a bad report from my PIL and they are asking me to do something which contradicts to my faith and believes as it will cause me double-mindedness and fighting in the flesh because they believe that there’s no harm in trying anything to get my EH back. I refused and declined politely.
Since i am at work, i rush into my prayer closet there, a bathroom actually!, began pouring my heart out to him. I prayed to him to deliver me from this test and the pain i felt when i had heard about the bad report and that my PIL can forgive me if they felt that i did not want to cooperate with them in fixing my marriage. I told my love that i did not insist anymore the faith i had believed in for it will only cause adversities and this is not the best time to become a Pharisee. I was battling in my mind all day long as the enemy whispers in my ear “go ahead and try it there’s nothing else to lose, you already lost everything right?” But my heart, my mind, my spirit were all saying what my love had been telling me to do, “do not be afraid and let your heart take courage, wait on me. Be still and know that i am God”.
It was such a tough battle within me as i was on my way home, i was talking to him in my heart and the moment i got to my prayer closet is where i just break down. I lay everything at his feet and cried my heart out to him and after that it was all better. There is still pain but definitely, there is peace.
I slept through the night listening to my Bible and was awoken many times during the dawn and i talked to him and he told me to just pray in between half eyes and my sleepiness, i prayed and called out his name, he is all i want and needed and i love him so much.
If you don’t have a relationship with the Lord as your Husband, don’t try to blame yourself. All you have to do is just seek Him and ask Him to put the love He longs for you to have inside you. If any thoughts of restoring your marriage, your EH and your fears came across your mind, just tell Him that you only want and need Him, and that He may forgive you.
Dear Brides, have faith in the things you are not seeing. These courses were designed not just to restore your marriages but to restore your relationship with the Lord most importantly so please take time to carefully read and seek Him for understanding regarding these lessons. It will all be worth it.
This had been very helpful for me in my walk with knowing the Lord as my Love. Please read this to strengthen more your relationship with Him.
~ Cherie in Manila
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