Today, while reading my devotional, the word was “I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in His Word do I hope” (Ps. 130:5) This word made me think that that’s how I feel today. Just waiting for the Lord to do whatever He wants to do in my life. Ten months have passed since my EH left me, telling me that he didn’t love me and that he didn’t want to be close to me. And last night, he came to visit me and opened up his heart to me. He talked about some trials he is going through. Meanwhile, as my EH talked, I was talking with my Beloved. I told Him that I want to see my EH falling in love with Him again. Meanwhile, as I was thinking in all that, my EH was sitting next to me, asking me whether I want him or not. He thanked me for always being there for him even though he didn’t deserve it because all the things he did to me. I just said, “Don’t worry. Everything is fine.”
I thanked my Lord because He has changed my heart. He was with me last night. In the past, I would have loved to hear the words that my EH told me and maybe I would have looked needy. But my Beloved kept me quiet. I was not able to speak. I said, “Lord, what do You want me to tell him?” “Nothing.” My EH wanted hugs, I gave him hugs. He needed someone who listened to his trials. I was there for him. But because my mind was with my Lord I had everything.
That’s how I looked at my EH and I saw how much he needs Him. As I need Him. I need my Beloved every second of my life. Without Him, I can do nothing. “I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in His Word do I hope” (Ps. 130:5) I’m waiting for the Lord, I know He is moving. I know He will do His perfect will in my life and my EHs.
Reading one chapter of the Abundant Life, I learned that how we wait for our promises is important. Shall I cry? Shall I get desperate? No, I have to enjoy this journey. Months ago, I just wanted to see my EH doing what he did last night, but when that day came, my Beloved showed me that what’s more important than those words or attitudes, what really matters is that my EH gets to know HIM deeply. He is moving in his life now. He is doing something. I will be happy when I hear him telling me how important my Beloved is to him. Meanwhile, as this happens, I want to keep enjoying my time with my Lord. I still have too much to learn.
“I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in His Word do I hope” (Ps. 130:5 ESV)
~ Camila in Argentina