My boys

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." JER.29.11.KJV

Last week I received a phone call from my oldest son. He informed me that him and his brother are moving out of state, well, half way across the country, to go live with my brother and mother.
This caused so much emotional turmoil. My son has been away from my home for a few years now, though he is only 16. It brought up so many painful memories, regrets and overall sadness.
To which my Love faithfully helped me through, He brought me peace and soothed the pain that felt like it would rip through my chest.
Yesterday, I received another phone call from my younger son, 15, saying that he would like to spend some time with me and his little brother and sister before he left ..this weekend! Again, waves of sadness have been washing over me. I've been trying so hard to remind myself that this may not be forever, they may move back, they may not even leave. Praying fervently, asking my Love to help us. But I was still just sad when their faces came into my mind.

My Love showed me last night, that it's okay to just be sad. That I don't have to try to convince myself not to be. He doesn't want me to live from a place of sadness, but it's okay to be sad, He wants me to bring it to Him, crawl into His arms and not do mental gymnastics to try to force myself to not be sad.

Because of His faithfulness of moving big mountains in the past, I know that He has a good plan for us and for my boys. I know that He loves them so much more than even I do. That they are safe in His hands and that they know have their life to go into. I homeschooled them, and they are both working full time construction, with very successful companies. When I think about how the Lord has blessed them, I am amazed. I am excited for their future, and know that they will need the Lord through it, but they both know what they want, and they want to go have more career opportunities in a bigger town. We do live in a very small town.
I received a phone call from my son's mentor, he is a Mennonite man, a successful multi-business owner, who loves the Lord and is a man who helps his community so much, he told me that he wants to be the one to help the boys move down to Texas, but also will continue to check in regularly with them. Flying down their regularly to be with them and continue to mentor them like he has been doing for the past couple years.
My boys don't have a father, and he has been like a father to them and I know that their Father made all of this happen. The truth is, my boys haven't needed me in a long time, I raised them to be men, and I have found them to be successful in that way.
I know that every mother who has a big turn into a man, must face this when they leave her home. I always assumed I would have til they were 18. But, I know that my Love has His own plans and I know that He cares deeply for my pain.
So this is another opportunity to continue to crawl into His arms, to praise Him through this storm and to meditate on Him and see Him do a beautiful work through this situation too.