♕ Today's Promise: “So keep the words of this covenant to do them, that you may prosper in all that you do.” Deuteronomy 29:9
He is Good! Even when I see nothing going on, I need to trust that He is at work and has heard my prayers.
My youngest daughter has graduated from college and has moved back to town and lives with me for now. She is a mechanical engineer, does not like the company where she is currently working (for good reasons) and is making plans to leave and build her own business, with her father's support. Meanwhile, she is struggling a bit with her faith. Her childish faith was solid, but now, rather than just the faith she had growing up, she is being called to make those adult moves to stand solid and build a deeper relationship with Him.
All of her siblings were already married when her dad divorced me. She seems to have been hit hardest by confusion on how her dad could do this while claiming to be a believer, etc. She was at home and watched him come and go and act strangely. She was at home and experienced much of the pain I went through before I found RMIEW. (I had tried to hide it from her, but she tells me now that she knew.)
I try to model faith and trust in my Heavenly Love. She sees that I am truly happy, even with the unknown of getting this house repaired and sold and where will I live. I have lost credibility with her, though; she does not want to hear from me on relationships--it's something at which I failed. All her friends are focused on careers and finding the "right man." She's already been a bridesmaid in several weddings. Her best friend gets married later this month. Her siblings all married young--right out of college--and she has expressed some panic about not knowing how to find "someone who won't run off on me before it's too late."
I have spoken with her about the most important relationship--with her Heavenly Love. She "hears me," and she is well-schooled in Christian doctrine. She was homeschooled and we walked every morning together, praying and sharing scripture. I visualize her as trying to stand with her feet on both sides of a crevice--trying really hard to be faithful AND to be successful in the world. I see the same striving that I used to have--striving to be VERY, VERY good and successful, in order to please God.
When I think about this (like while I am typing now), I feel my emotions pulling me toward striving and working hard to say the right things/do the right things to "make" her see. But then I breathe--slowly in, and more slowly out, focusing on my Love--and then He reminds me, gently, to turn it all over to Him. He does not long for me to strive, nor does He long for my daughter to strive!
Once I discovered RMIEW and I learned that I could trust in Him and PUT DOWN THE LOAD--that He did NOT want me to fuss and fret my way through life--I have longed for my children to learn this, too. I have spoken with Him about it daily. Sometimes, it seems that nothing is happening. It's been five years.
Yesterday, she came to me with a problem. She has not yet found a new church here in St Louis. "I have tithe money building up, and I remember you said it was a mistake to hold onto it." [I guess I haven't lost all my credibility.] I encouraged her to give to her storehouse--where her faith is fed. She responded, with a laugh, "Then I'd have to give it to you, Mom."
Wow. Of course, I laughed with her, and we talked about many options. But I feel this was my Love's way to encourage me...that turning things over to Him does NOT mean I'm not doing anything to help my daughter. It is exactly what I need to do to help my daughter because HIS power is infinitely stronger than mine!
The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him (Lamentations 3:25).
Sometimes it SEEMS like nothing is happening, but we must trust Him. He works in His own timing.
~ Beverly
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