♕ Today's Promise: “In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:6
Charlotte, how did your restoration actually begin?
I was divorced for almost a year, but in the beginning, I did not want my marriage restored—I wanted a divorce, and I followed that painful route for my life. I had another relationship with someone I’d met while I was married to my husband. My ex-husband also followed this same path for his life, he, too, had several other relationships after we divorced. At the time, I knew God, but I was far from being a believer or follower, even though I called myself a Christian.
Then one day, by the grace of God, He turned my heart back to my husband. The first step was to go back to God, and so I did. After this, the desire to have my marriage restored became even stronger. That’s when I began my restoration journey.
After so long (and it was me who cheated and divorced my husband for another man), it seemed crazy to everyone when I actually became desperate for restoration. I simply had no idea how to get my husband and marriage back. I had to face the truth that it was impossible, which is when a friend who began praying with me sent me the paperback book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I started reading, and for the first time, I had hope.
What I didn’t know is that my husband was no longer in a relationship with any other woman, but he had in fact come under deep conviction, knowing his lifestyle was wrong in God’s eyes. He had joined a men’s group at a church, and it was there that someone gave him the men’s Restore Your Marriage.
How did God change your situation, Charlotte, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
What happened is that God began to work, but not in my marriage, in me. Of course, today I understand why, but at the time it made no sense. Changing me, introducing me to the RYM and then the website, I learned so much. I came to know Him as my HH. Gently and lovingly, He showed me how wrong I was, how I was a foolish, Contentious Woman who tore her house down, and how (by living in sin), I had turned completely away from God—which was the worst decision I have ever made in my life.
Soon, I began to understand that all that was happening was His plan. God turned my heart, gave me a desire for my marriage so that I would turn to Him so that I would truly love Him above all things, and it worked! Dear Reader, this process lasted for 4 months, but it seemed like years because I cried a lot. I suffered in a way I had never suffered. The journey was not easy, but it was invaluable at making me a different woman entirely.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Charlotte, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I learned a lot from the trials. I learned to trust God all the time, to rest in Him and to know that He cares for me more than I’d ever imagined, so I was able to entrust my life and my daughters to Him. The most astonishing thing was how He took care of us. Soon after He called me on this journey, I lost my job and the unemployment benefits barely covered any of our needs. Yet, when I asked my Heavenly Husband or Heavenly Father—God made sure we were never once lacking in anything we needed.
During this, I read the Word of God; I fasted; I prayed, and I had so many wonderful hours with my HH that would not have been possible if I had been employed at the time!
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Charlotte?
The hardest time was when I applied "letting go," because just after he turned my heart, my EH began calling to talk to our daughters, and it made me sad because as soon as my heart wanted to see and spend time with him, I needed to let go. And as I did, it seemed that the more I prayed the more complicated things had become.
Soon after this, my ex began coming to stay all weekend to see our daughters. Neither of us spoke to the other, but my heart was hurting. I knew the Lord was in control, which calmed my heart and helped me to rest in HIM. It was not easy, but it worked, and thank God I met a woman whose marriage had been restored, sent to me by God, who helped me focus on my own journey and not focus on what was happening around me.
At the time, I had no idea my ex had been hoping for restoration and was also letting go, focusing on becoming the man of God and spiritual leader of our family.
Charlotte, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
It’s when I really and truly let go. When I decided to make that decision, that very day I told my daughters that when dad called they should only tell me if there was something I needed to know (because prior to this, they made it a point of telling me everything, and I asked many questions).
I knew it was going to be hard for me to let go each weekend, to win my husband without a word, but God helped me and showed me how to act when he was there, but my HH also gave me a way of escape, when I was invited to stay at a friend’s cabin that was almost like a honeymoon retreat for my HH and me. This actually happened two weekends in a row, with me gone when he came to see our daughters, so we spent almost three weeks without seeing each other or talking to each other.
It all changed on our oldest daughter's 19th birthday when my youngest daughter asked if we could invite her father to come to her birthday party. My daughter said he immediately said he’d love to come, which was such a surprise, as it was scheduled for Sunday, and he always said he had to be at church, that he could not come because he led a Bible study and worship. So I honestly did not expect him to come. On her birthday, when he arrived at the door of the house, I greeted him, and when I hugged him, he started crying. I got worried and asked what had happened, but he said nothing.
A few minutes later, I saw him sitting in my room, on the bed, and felt led to go ask him if he was okay. What he said shocked me. He said that from the moment he stepped onto the doorstep, he felt the presence of God so strongly, just like it had been at a revival he’d recently attended. That’s when he told me how much he’d missed me, missed being a family, missed us all living together! After the party, he slept at home, but as we were divorced, he slept in the guest bedroom and not with me. But I knew we were close, very close, to restoration. I just needed to wait and watch what God planned to do next.
Tell us HOW it happened, Charlotte. Did your husband just walk in the front door? Charlotte, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Yes, I knew I was close, with everything that had happened at the birthday party, but I prepared myself for some testing.
I heard that he’d moved out of his apartment and was staying with his mother because she can't be alone for too long. So after work, he’d go get her fed, but then he came straight over here every day for a few weeks. At first, he focused on seeing the girls and almost ignored me. I knew it was my test, so I chose to get closer to my HH and often left just to get a coffee or go for a walk with Him. That’s when my ex began talking to me again. We began talking a lot, and soon we began talking about our wedding and getting married again.
We decided on a simple wedding in a chapel, with just our daughters and a few family members who had been supportive also in attendance. We were both different people than the couple who married so many years before. I had a gentle and quiet spirit and my husband was a true man of God.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Charlotte?
How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and each of the testimonies were great to read, and they were what inspired me to keep going and helped give me the strength to continue. Of course, the Word of God is unmatched.
And Erin, if you ever read this, I am very grateful to God for your life, for helping you through your journey, for your love for your neighbor, me, and all the many marriages that have been restored and lives like mine changed. I praise God for your life!
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Charlotte?
Yes
Either way, Charlotte, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Trust in God, and make sure you give everything to Him because even when everything seems to be going wrong (because you will have so many trials), you can be sure God is in control—the Creator of heaven and earth. He is the God who specializes in miracles, the God who truly loves you and will not let any harm happen to you. Just believe that even adversity will bring you contentment in the end. "For my power is made perfect in its weakness." Always trust, and do not give up, because restoration is a desire He put in your heart, and this desire in your heart is from God. Just believe and obey everything He commands. God is faithful. My testimony is proof.
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
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There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.