♕Today's Promise: "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” 2C105
Elda, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
My restoration journey started around 23 months ago. My husband, Rayno, left me after I had unknowingly become a contentious woman. I was arrogant, rude, and proud, plus so many other ungodly traits. I caused division and arguments on a regular basis. I left my him feeling alone, unloved, and disrespected. I would tell him daily if he wasn’t happy then he should leave. Well one night, he did decide to leave. I cried and begged him to not leave me and our daughter. I tried physically blocking him and hiding his keys so that he couldn’t leave. But that only made him angrier. After leaving that night, I told family and friends that Rayno had left us again. I wanted everyone to take my side and point the finger at him for why my marriage was destroyed.
The first couple weeks, Rayno wanted no contact with me. He wouldn’t answer texts or calls. This had never happened before. He would always get mad and then come back, but not this time. After some time had passed, we started talking a little bit more. I hate to admit it but I was still obsessed with him and would often beg for him to come to me because I was so lonely. He would sometimes, but then when he leaves, that only left me feeling even worse than before. Shortly after I found a book of how to save a marriage through the flesh, but as we all know that didn’t help my marriage. After finishing the book on my Kindle, Erin’s book appeared as a book suggestion. I read How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage so fast and realized so many truths. Truths that I had never seen or heard before. I stopped looking at Rayno’s sins and really took a hard look at myself.
The changes in me started to become noticed by Rayno. He noticed how I was taking care of myself, our daughter, and household. I had lost so much weight that I was smaller than I was in high school. The house was always put together and there was always something yummy cooking in the oven. This began to draw him near because I never was able to keep our home clean before or do it without complaining. He started coming by more and more. We started doing things as a family again. Everything was going the right direction and then he announced he was going to get his own apartment. I cried honestly for days thinking how can this be. See, my faith wasn’t strong enough to believe God can move or change any situation. I helped him pay for the deposit to his new apartment and offered whatever items he wanted from our home. I began surrendering things over because I knew there was nothing I could do. God was in control and only He could change things.
Rayno’s mother had planned on visiting us during the summer prior to him leaving. We had never gotten along and I didn’t know how she was going to stay at our place without Rayno. I thought for sure he would come home just for that week she was visiting. Rayno didn’t and left us many nights to be alone during her visit. But praise the Lord, He restored my relationship with her and she became someone I could share the gospel with. She knew how important it was to save our marriage and she truly was the only person who believed it could happen. We made plans to see her again during Christmas time, little did I know that would be the last time I would see her. After her visit was over Rayno moved into his new apartment about 10 minutes away from our house. I didn’t know there was an OW at the time. I had my suspicions but didn’t really think about it. But my suspicions were shown correct when one day he showed up in a different vehicle that wasn’t ours to visit our daughter. I remember I immediately left and drove to a nearby park and cried and cried.
This was another turning point in my journey where I truly realized I was on my own. I stopped trying to reach out to Rayno and really began to get quiet with my Heavenly Husband. I started to realize how much He loved me and was doing all this to help change and mold me into His Bride. About a month after moving into his apartment, Rayno realized he made a mistake. This was also the time of our daughter’s 2nd birthday and he expressed his love for me still. I was so excited of how quickly things turned around as soon as I started doing things God’s way. However, his stay was short-lived. He again moved back out after a month of being home and went to be with the OW again. This time divorce was brought up and he told me to “move on”. At this point in time, I truly wanted to give up. It was a very low place for me. I had so many terrible thoughts. But thankfully this was also the time that my Heavenly Husband truly was able to speak to me and show me the love I needed.
Another month passed, Rayno and I had very little contact when he would pick up our daughter and take her over to their house. But one night, he came over and we were intimate. I had already moved on and decided maybe it was best to just be on my own with my Heavenly Husband. I had also given up on having any more children and was happy with having one daughter. But my Heavenly Husband knew my true heart’s desires. I knew after checking my app calendar that I was ovulating and would become pregnant again with our second child. Once I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited. I knew this was my chance to enjoy my pregnancy with my Heavenly Husband and to do things differently than my first pregnancy. My excitement of course was stolen by the devil because a couple weeks later the OW announced she was pregnant as well. I later found out she had stopped taking her birth control in order to become pregnant with Rayno’s child.
Overall, there were many trials during the pregnancy and birth of our second daughter but it all made me so much more stronger and able to truly be ready for Rayno’s arrival back into our house. I knew deep in my soul and spirit that things would become bitter between them as soon as both babies arrived into the world. However, I never knew it would be as bad as it truly would become. Rayno called me one night to come pick up our oldest daughter from his place, I could tell in his voice something wasn’t right. I hurried to his place and just as I was arriving so was the other woman to take their child. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but the OW attacked Rayno causing multiple body injuries. The police showed up and since that night everything has changed.
I’m so thankful to have my family back and to also have an additional daughter. Rayno loves me more than he ever has before. He has told me that he needed all of this to happen to truly realize what he had and never wants to lose me or his family again. He still struggles with everything that has happened, but it has begun to make him question his relationship with God. I am still praying for the Lord to finish what he has started in my Rayno. I want him to be our spiritual leader in our family. I will continue praying for strength and encouragement to know that God will restore all that’s been lost and will create an even better future for our family.
Thank you to my Heavenly Husband for preparing me for my husband’s return. I would not be the woman I am today without His love and I would not be able to endure all that has happened and continues to happen without Him. Praise the Lord for breaking the cords of adultery and restoring our marriage. Rayno has been home for over a month and I know this is only the beginning. I’m very hopeful for our future and that our testimony will encourage others to look to God to help their marriage.
How did God change your situation, Elda, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
God changed my situation every time I turned to Him only. When I began to truly depend on Him is when there was more contact from Rayno. I had experienced so many lows and highs throughout this journey but there was always a constant and it was Him. He never left me and I was always encouraged by knowing my Heavenly Husband wouldn’t leave me behind. I was being taken care of when I had no money. I was being loved when I had nobody. I truly experienced a completely new way of living when all my hopes, needs, and desires were being given to my Heavenly Husband. My Heavenly Husband never disappointed me and always knew exactly what I needed, even when I didn’t know what I needed. He took such great care of me and He still does.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial, Elda?
There are so many principles the Lord taught me, but the biggest ones I’ve learned and continue to apply in my daily life is respecting my earthly husband, not being argumentative, and not telling him what to do. I have gained a lot of self-control due to my Heavenly Husband’s help and am able to take whatever I’m feeling or thinking to my Heavenly Husband instead of saying everything to Rayno. There have been times when Rayno will just do or say exactly what I have asked my Heavenly Husband to place in his heart. I know if I hadn’t ever learned the principles taught by this ministry, I would not have a restored marriage, additional child, or a relationship with the Lord. I am beyond thankful for this ministry and the principles that are taught. I want to pass down everything I have learned to my daughters.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Elda?
The most difficult time that God helped me through was right after I had our second daughter. Rayno was with me in the hospital for the delivery, but the other woman was texting him and calling him the whole time. Then Rayno stopped showing any attention to our daughter once we were able to leave the hospital. There was a huge disconnect between the two and very little time was spent together. It broke my heart many times because I could handle the rejection from Rayno, but to see my daughter facing that same pain, it hurt me. I knew that my Heavenly Husband was using it for good and things would be okay.
Another difficult time was when I had to go to the emergency room a couple weeks after having our daughter. I was bleeding very much and it was scary. Due to COVID, I couldn’t have anyone go with me. I also had to take my baby with me as I’m breastfeeding. I called Rayno because he had our other daughter at the time. I told him what had happened and was crying. He showed no emotion and seemed to not care. This is a time when I realized I couldn’t go to him for anything. I later found out that the other woman said I was faking and was just trying to get Rayno to come back home.
Thankfully after all is said and done, Rayno loves our second daughter more than I could ever express. All the time lost between them has been restored and he loves her very much.
Elda, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The “turning point” came when I had truly moved on and was doing great taking care of both daughters and getting to spend more time with my Heavenly Husband. I would get so excited when the girls would go to sleep so I could have more alone time with Him. As soon as I no longer cared is when I noticed Rayno truly struggling. He had always been in good shape and health. But his appearance had gone downhill quickly. He was also experiencing a lot of roller coaster moods and emotions. However, the crazier things got, the more I knew I had to show him that I would be there for him whenever he needed.
That time came when a domestic incident took place against him. He truly saw the other woman and began to see a different side of her. Just as the scriptures tell us. Rayno had no body to turn to. His mother and grandmother had just passed away a few months ago. He had lost his job. He had nothing left. But through it all, he said he could feel a love flowing from me that pulled him in. We all know that was all the Lord’s doing. It is His love that helped Rayno return home.
Tell us HOW it happened, Elda? Did Rayno just walk in the front door? Elda, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Rayno returned due to the police getting involved with the other woman. I could feel however he felt forced to come back home and it wasn’t truly what he wanted to do. I gave him space to decide what he wanted to do next. He stayed at our house for a week and we got to spend Christmas together as a family. But then Rayno decided he needed to go stay in his apartment to figure out what he wanted. I didn’t get up surprisingly and let him go. As soon as I let him go, he was constantly texting, calling, and spending time with me. It only took 2 weeks for him to realize he wanted me as his wife again and our family. He has been home ever since. We are now packing up everything from his apartment and will be moving everything back into our room this weekend. Only God can do this!
I suspected things were close because it has been so incredibly intense. There were so many things happening and I could truly see the battle taking place over our marriage. It was very intense and felt like I was on fire, but now things have cooled down.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Elda?
I would recommend every resource available. I wouldn’t have become the woman I am today without this ministry. It has changed who I am as a woman and I now get to change my family tree. I am so thankful that I can pass these down to my daughters to help them with their future marriages and families.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Elda?
Yes!
Either way, Elda, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
I would say to never give up on your marriage. God can restore any situation. I never thought I would have to go through all that I have in order to be ready for my marriage. But the thing is, God knows what we need and also what our family needs. The world tells us to give up when things look awful or that husbands can’t change. Please don’t believe the lies. God can change you, your husband, your marriage, and your family. All you have to do is surrender it all and be willing to let God work. He can do it, He just needs you to believe and obey. I beg you to not give up on your family. There isn’t a better man out there for you. Your children need a steady foundation built from your marriage that is founded on the Lord’s’ love. Be encouraged!
