RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “Brought Me Low to Have Me All to Himself”

 

Kristy, how did your restoration actually begin?

My EH decided to leave in 2014, but came back a month later, but left again 8 months later. We were fighting, and there had been infidelity by both parties. I was devastated, and I was a part of a standers’ ministry for one year, before praying for my eyes to be opened. I came across this ministry on Google. My EH had up a huge hate wall. I was very contentious, manipulative, demanding and bossy. I had demanded attention, and I would not stand for anything less. He was fed up, packed his bags and moved in with a coworker, who was the OW.

When did you first come to our ministry and why? 

I was at my lowest and thought that there could be no hope for my marriage since it was my second marriage. Every other Christian marriage ministry said that my marriage could not be saved, because I was committing adultery. I had been praying for a sign that the Lord actually wanted to restore my marriage, and was about to give up, but then I came across your website while searching...but the funny thing was that I had searched many times before and had never come across this website.

When I first came, I confessed in my third journal that I was still angry with my EH and the OW. But I said, “I want the anger and bitterness to be removed from my heart, and I want to see them as God sees them.” I prayed in my journal, “Lord, thank you for bringing me this far on the journey. It feels so long, and yet when I read other people’s testimonies, I feel guilty, forever complaining about my situation. Please change me to be a loving wife and woman and to be able to see my EH and the OW through your eyes.” I also prayed, “Lord, turn my heart completely to you and heal my broken heart. I desire you to be my everything...remove my desire for my EH, and let me Let Go of him completely. I can't do it alone, Lord. I need you.”

I am interested in becoming a PARTNER because:

I want to have fellowship with others and be able to help others if ever the time comes. I live in a rural area and know absolutely no one.

Is Jesus your Savior, Lord, or more? Please share.

I have had a hard time with this one. The Lord is my Savior; I am sure of that. I want so much to experience what all these other women are talking about, as seeing the Lord as their HH. I desire that, and I am moving toward that daily, by fasting and leaning more and more into the Word and all my lesson studies.

With what other ministries/churches are you involved? 

I am no longer involved with my church unless my husband initiates going, which he does from time to time.

Please write a short note of encouragement to the women who come to RMIEW.

Thank you so much to all the women who came before me. Every single woman has inspired me to dig deeper, to search with all my heart and to surrender my life to the Lord. All of the books and the online courses have given me hope, and I desire to see my Heavenly Father as my HH. All the encouragement that I find with this ministry gets me through my days. Every minute, I grow closer and closer to the Lord.

How did God change your situation, Kristy, as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

He broke me. I fasted a lot and got rid of cable and Facebook. I took long walks. He drew me to Him. The pain was more than I could bear, but it became a little easier daily. He turned me into a submissive wife, but then I became almost too quiet, and my EH was very skeptical of the changes. After filling out my MEQ, the next thing I did was to Become a Partner and began giving 10% of my income as an offering. I didn’t let go of my church until later on in my journey.

Write a "Letter to the Lord."

Lord, change me to be a woman that is after you and only you. I am desperate to have all of your love. Lead me to people that you want to be brought into my life. Show me how to be the woman you want me to be.

What would you say to His newer brides to Encourage them in regard to what you LEARNED?

Dear Brides, I'm right back at the beginning again, and I feel like I've failed, but after reading more, I realize He brought me low to have me all to Himself. Surrender your heart to Him. He loves us all so much.

What would you say to ENCOURAGE women to READ our books? 

These books are uplifting and they help you get through the darkest hours. Continue to ask God to change you. It is very, very painful, but there is a plan. Even though we don't understand it, He is lining everything up in perfect sequence to fall into place at the right time. Yes, people have said I have become very Quiet. Often they ask what is wrong because I am usually a very peoples person. I just don't have anything to talk about anymore, because I realize I was a gossip, and a lot of my relationships were built on slandering others. It is so sad and makes me want to tell others: please do not fall into that pit.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Kristy, did the Lord teach you during this trial? 

Let go, and stop snooping. Stop being demanding or making ultimatums. Let my Lord make the changes in my everyday life and with my EH. I also began tithing to my storehouse, after signing up to be a Partner--which was the second form I submitted after my Marriage Encouragement Questionnaire. I just knew that verse in Malachi was true, and I stayed faithful all these years--seeing just how faithful He has been to His Word.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Kristy?

Most difficult was knowing that my EH was with the OW and that she was everything he ever wanted. I also spent all my holidays alone.

Kristy, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

Things turned when I stopped pursuing my EH, let go of my church and started focusing on other things in life (Jesus, my family, and others). The hate wall came down. We started out as friends...we started doing things together, and it has taken 5 years to become somewhat close again.

Tell us HOW it happened, Kristy. Did your husband just walk in the front door? Kristy, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? 

At times, I would think something was about to happen, but after 5 years, I honestly was close to giving up and accepting I was to remain alone.  As of today, I still am not sure if I want to live together, but I never want to take for granted what the Lord has done, and I repent often to even have such a negative thought.

Tell us HOW it happened? Did your husband just walk in the front door? 

No. My lease was coming to an end, and my EH asked me what I thought about moving in with him to save money and to finish remodeling his home. At this moment, he has told me he is not in love with me, is afraid for the future and is not sure we can last, but he thinks it is financially beneficial. I praise God, because even though it is not the fairy tale I was dreaming of, God is opening the door, and I know He will take care of the rest.

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Kristy?

Every single thing that can be offered through this ministry! Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;

How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage also A Wise Woman. All the By the Word of Their Testimonies, and going through the online courses. Daily Encourager, HH, the Abundant Life courses Finding the Abundant Life, and HopeAtLast.com.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Kristy? 

Yes. I don’t have an encouragement partner, but I kept a journal since my phone was too small to turn in reports.

Either way, Kristy, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Don’t ever give up. Never take for granted any small or big miracle from the Lord. He is in control of everything--right down to the hair on our heads.

Dear Brides, I know many of you do not feel this love for the Lord that so many women talk about, but I believe if we stick to it, make a commitment and lean into our Lord, we will all find the abundant life that so many of these women talk about.