RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “Celebrating our Son’s Birthday He Introduced Me as his Wife”

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Vanessa, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

I was completely lost, trying to find sense in my life. I felt rejected and was full of shame, so I tried to run away from everything —working, making money and also leaving my hometown, so I could be far from the shameful memories that made me feel sick 🙁

In the midst of so much despair and fear, I looked at my son, and I began to cry out for more of God and His help to get out of this situation. That’s when I found RMI on the internet, it was such a light to me, I really feel so very grateful!

Vanessa, how did your restoration actually begin?

I guess it all started at the very beginning of our marriage, as we didn’t know each other very well. Actually, we met, got engaged and married in only 10 months and one of my greatest fears happened: one month after our marriage, I became pregnant.

My husband and I didn’t have any kind of support or example from our families. Both of us were living with unsolved problems and very heavy emotional baggage that we brought to our marriage.

Being pregnant led me to emotional crisis. My EH didn't know what to do or how to deal with a brand-new wife, a wife who was now pregnant. By this time, there were a lot of people counseling us, mainly the pastor of the church we used to attend together. He did in an isolated way, I mean, he never talked with the both of us at the same time, as a couple, he always talked to us separately.

I complained about his methods to my husband, but since he admired him so much, it was like my EH put him on a pedestal, so everything I said seemed to be against me. We just quarreled about all of this!

As time went by, things began to get worse 🙁 We were living in a rented place, and there were a lot of things happening, all the same things many of the ladies tell us about here in our ministry. First of all, we left the church. Then we preferred being with friends instead of being with each other or our family and there were a lot of quarrels in the process. Finally, unemployment hit us, and we had to go live in my parents' house. This is when we separated.

As I didn’t have any kind of instruction nor wisdom, I didn't know what to do or how to act and react even when I was doing something right. On the other hand, there were a lot of problems and lack of wisdom, I received "help" from my family, encouraging misconduct and separation.

How did God change your situation Vanessa as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

I knew that there were a lot of bad and wrong actions and feelings in me, and there was also the lack of wisdom and an emotional imbalance. At that time, all those things together made me decide, agreeing with my EH, that the best thing to do was to ask him to leave our home. By this time, we accepted the sentence of separation ... yet, that’s when my transforming began.

It was the day I really saw myself alone, with a newborn baby to whom my EH used to say he loved more than life, but he was not there anymore. Now he was with other people, living his life with his job. I stood before God and opened my heart with all the strength I had at that moment. I cried for days and days, but I presented myself completely to the Lord.

So, I sensed that I was being transformed, getting closer to Him, facing my mistakes, and being released from my physical and emotional traumas. Soon the Holy Spirit guided me through the tears to find the RMI, and it was the most beautiful prayer response I received that my life changed. Then I saw that it was God's will, and not just mine, to restore the marriage that He gave me as a gift. Yes, my wedding was a gift – and now I knew!

With the help of RMI, I could see that much of what I had done until I found this ministry was right. Things like when I was led to ask for forgiveness, to give my troubles to God, and especially to allow Him to really, fully and deeply change me. And also, that I had recognized my mistakes and failures.

I had been a very bad person, quarrelsome, disrespectful, hurtful, yet wounded, proud, full of vanity, and I could not give genuine forgiveness to anyone. And in everything, God was working, and He keeps on doing so, everything is happening in His perfect timing.

Soon I could see myself in a lighter, happier life, with another vision for my future and a new heart. I have seen everything begin to make sense, I have really seen what it is to love and be with my Heavenly Husband. And I started to live one day after another joyfully. Soon, I began to live the abundant life and receive the daily miracles that my Beloved has for me and my family.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Vanessa, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

The Lord taught me and confirmed all the principles I learned here at RMI. If it were not for these teachings, I would not have been able to go far in my journey and to be here today, living the best time of my life! Being meek and gentle helped me a lot to get rid of the bad feelings that I had, concerning my EH.

Letting go of the church was the best thing I did, because I became totally dependent on the Lord and totally close to Him alone. This helped me to fix my mistake of making church my spiritual leader.

Moving away from social networks helped a lot during those very hard days—this was very effective. It helped me to be free from the pain that I had created when I saw something that had the power to hurt me by believing in something that did not really exist.

To let go, definitely was the best of all, because it was when I really became a totally happy and loved woman. At that time my EH was living in another state with a friend, and I was living a very happy life as His bride 🙂 It was and still is an incredible time after I was able to let go for real.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Vanessa?

The entire time was very hard! When you have feelings for someone else, it’s easy to feel hurt at being apart. But the moments that struck me the most, were the days I saw myself in the hospital with my sick baby, also when I saw a framed photo of my EH with an OW - no doubt that was the worst day! Then when his "friends" came along just to give me "news", but I could feel the love of the Lord sustaining me.

There were also financial issues that the Lord helped me through a lot— infinitely surprising me and saving me in every situation, and even today, He keeps on moving in my favor.

Vanessa, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

The turning point was when I truly let go and became happy and in love with my Heavenly Husband.

At that exact time, my EH began to talk to me and began approaching. We began to have a relationship as friends again. Amazingly, I began to experience good dreams, dreams that were becoming true.

I also received the gift of being part of a team that I love so very much, and I have them as dear friends. Here on our Portuguese Ministry Team!! ^^

Tell us HOW it happened Vanessa? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Vanessa, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

Well, I did not suspect it would be so soon— even though I could see the signs. Then came the month of our son's birthday, and my EH said he would come, because he had to work with some colleagues. He also said he would not be able to arrive as soon as he would like to do. At that time, we were closer, friends again, some issues from our past had been solved. Sometimes he would declare himself in small sentences and say that he missed us as a family and missed me as his wife.

When he arrived in our state, he stayed in another city and we talked for as long as possible. At that moment, he opened his heart telling me of his dreams and wishes for our family. He said how much he was thinking about me and us together again and that he wanted to get here soon ... When he arrived in our city, he surprised me! He phoned me when he was at our front door, he said: “I arrived, I’m here”! I felt like a young girl in love again!

At that moment, there was no room for anything from the past, only the Love of God among us. I opened the door and my heart started pounding, because it was too surprising for me, for the first time after 1 year and 8 months, I was near him and I could hug him like my EH.

Since then, God has restored our family. The next day we went out to celebrate our son's birthday and for the first time after this long period of time, he introduced me as his wife.

While he was here, we stayed all together at my mother-in-law's house, because I was living in my parents' house. But soon he needed to go back to where he was living and working. At that moment I had the full certainty that God had given me a rest - a “Selah” - to be prepared for what was to happen.

One month later and totally by surprise, my EH came back to live in our city 🙂 He is considering us a family again, calling me “his wife” and wishing our family together. And within a few months, he changed the status of his Facebook page to “married” again and he is using our pictures. We have also returned to being husband and wife as it should be after so long. God answered our prayers!!

I believe that soon, very soon, we will be living in our own house, not with relatives, and giving much more value to our home and family! Then I will have a new testimony to share with you 🙂

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Vanessa?

I recommend all the materials! Use as many as you can and get as much as the Lord gives you and retain as much knowledge as possible!

In particular, the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, and the Be Encouraged videos, using the lessons for our online courses, and absorb the encouragement in our Daily Encourager in a daily basis 🙂

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Vanessa?

Yes!!!! It will be a great joy to be able to help more and more., as I’m already part of the Portuguese Team!

Either way Vanessa, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Beloved brides, I know it is a painful time at first, but keep on going! Do not give up!

Go forward and cling to the Lord, truly let go of everything else, for thus you will discover the true happiness and love that our Beloved yearns to share with us all the days of our lives.

And it does not matter what you see and hear, ignore this and give yourself fully to Him and rest. For God has all the power to restore and He will ... He has done this for me and is still doing so and He will also do the same for you!!

Open your heart and let HIM in, let Him transform you completely and then you will see your life completely transformed for better—much more than you could imagine!

~ Vanessa

#Vanessa