RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “Challenging and Wonderful Journey of Your Life!”

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Erika, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Erika, how did your restoration actually begin?

When I saw this happening, I started becoming irritated and depressed, in such a way that I too went to live my own life. I began going out alone or with our children. Making friends with mothers of their friends, spending a lot of time with these friends (and most of the time drinking, gossiping and talking badly about our husbands!). In addition, I alone remained faithful to attending Sunday services, by myself or with our children.

Then someone gave me the book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage". My life changed the moment I read it. Then I read it over and over again!

I was able to start applying the principles immediately, especially "letting go" because I was consumed by looking for my husband. I was so desperate that had it not been for this wise counsel, I would have driven him away for good.

In fact, even without knowing His word at all in the beginning, "getting out of the way of the sinner" made a lot of sense to me! I wanted to obey the God who stretched out His hand to save me and save my family! So, Hallelujah, from that moment I stopped pursuing him and ultimately found Him—my HH!

Reading those words in Erin's book I could recognize myself, recognize my mistakes and understand what was happening and the mess I had made of my life! I saw that I was not alone and that God had a perfect plan for me!

How did God change your situation Erika as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

During the holidays, I tried to plan a family trip - in fact, I was always the one who did everything, and especially to plan this vacation. I knew the crisis in our marriage was very serious, we did not understand each other at all!

Even though we agreed to take the vacation, my husband did not want to go, but I insisted. I fought him on this. I tried blackmail, I tried being the victim of the situation, crying, and saying how he was making me suffer. But he'd had enough—my husband did not care anymore! And so I then told him that I would pay for the trip! So, against his will, we went!

He had already warned me that he would take us, but he would not stay with us and then he would just come back to get us after the vacation. Although I'd gotten my way, the vacation was days with a mixture of joy and fun with my children along with deep sadness. I knew something very bad was going to happen. Something different, something scary was happening and I was right. The culmination of my bad behavior showed up in a message from my husband saying he could not come back to get us!

The pain I felt was huge. I remember walking into the ocean and crying non-stop, begging God to save me and save my family! I looked at the enormity of what had happened and I knew I would have difficult moments ahead and I needed God more than ever by my side!

Today I realize that God began His work there, on that day. Before, I was living a life filled with thoughts of hopelessness. I began to feel that God would act in my situation ... and I was able to begin my journey for my children. For the first time, I began to feel some hope for my marriage.

When I got home, I thought my husband would be expecting us and at least would have missed the children, but that was not the case. He was late and indifferent that day towards all of us.

From then on, things only got worse. I discovered the existence of an OW and without a thought— I threw everything in his face! I felt so lost and confused that I decided to look for a psychologist to help me be different and face what was ahead!

I remember that during my consultation, I began to identify my mistakes and she told me that I could not feel that way and that the culprit was my husband.

After my first consultation, I had the worst argument with my husband! The psychologist told me that I should feel anger and that I should demand that he choose whether it was me or OW he wanted to be with. My husband has not returned home this day ...

God was already showing me how I had been contentious and built my home on the sand and did not climb the Rock! And in his infinite love, He was already showing me that only with Him could I face what was happening.

On a morning of despair as I walked aimlessly, lost and praying, asking God to help me, even though my family gave me "strength" so that I would abandon my husband - because they knew I was suffering! I knew there was something bigger reserved for us!

This morning. I heard, "God of covenant, God of promise, God who is not man to lie ...". I went to church, crying and asking for counsel. Thank God, the priest who talked to me, gave me hope, but I need more! I need to know what to do!

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Erika, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

It was when I began hearing of a testimony about someone's healing that I thought, there must be testimonies of restored marriages! And so I found the RMI site and began to read that it was possible! God be praised!

I studied them each week as they came in on the Encourager and went back looking at similarities of each one. What I saw was that those who found peace right away and then had a restored marriage found and fell in love with their HH, so that is what I told Him I wanted too!

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Erika?

The most difficult times the Lord helped me to go through were with my children who asked for their father. They're worry for him caused them to become sick all the time. I held on so as not to cry and when I asked my HH what to do, He gave me encouragement in the RMI material. I read that a mother told her children that daddy was solving things that only he could solve and that as soon as possible, he would return home! Thank you, my sister, who shared these wise words, because they comforted my children too!

Besides this difficulty, there were also my parents who suffered with me. I know that they were very worried, yet HE helped me to comfort them and despite everything, I did not complain about anything to them or anyone. I had my HH to go to and that was enough. I also learned not to ask them for anything and of course, God took care of everything. I was never alone, nor will I ever be alone or without help. I will always and forever go to my HH!!

Erika, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

The turning point in my situation was the moment I started applying the principles of "letting go" and "winning without a word." And, of course, this was possible when I embraced my HH and put both my hands into His. This was the key because my husband said to everyone right away that I was behaving differently! And actually that I was glowing, which made him nervous there was someone else.

One day he sent me a message saying: "You do not call me anymore, what happened?" Brides, this change happened right after one of the lessons on the letting go, when I asked and told my HH that I really wanted to let go and look only to Him! He was all I wanted and needed. A moment later I heard a ding and there was the message on my cell phone! God is wonderful when we become His Son's bride!

Tell us HOW it happened Erika? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Erika, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

Yes, in fact, I just realized my marriage has been restored, even though this all happened some time ago! Yes, I was deceived because I always dreamed of telling my restoration as a love story, where my husband came back begging me for forgiveness. It didn't happen that way so I thought it wasn't actually restored!

My husband left home one day, not saying what he was doing, took some clothes he'd hidden, after telling me that we had made a great mistake in getting married! He told me everything was wrong between us, that we did not mesh as a couple should. He said my family would not accept him and many other things. Yet, at this time he was actually involved with another woman!

Soon after I found the book by Erin, and immediately began to apply the principles, everything began to change. Suddenly one day I heard a noise in the door lock and I saw my husband coming into the house! My kids ran screaming "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy." Seeing this brought tears to my eyes because I know He had him come back for my children, not me because I felt fully loved by Him! I still hear my little boy say, "Daddy, you disappeared and I was so homesick for you!" So sweet. My husband sat down and hugged them both and I saw tears streaming down his face! He was sad and confused, and never really said much to me.

At that moment, I did not thank him as I'd planned so many times in my head when I used to dream of my restoration. But I thanked God and my HH.

Had this happened like this, before I met my HH, I am honest when I say my heart would have turned to stone. Before my HH I wanted and demanded so much more from my EH. I would have wanted hugs and beautiful words, but thankfully, and I know you brides would agree with me, that our HH gives us loving words and hugs every moment of every day!

Had I had the "model" restoration that I created for myself before meeting Him, I would have failed to understand what is says in Isaiah 55:8–9: “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.’”

And I love how the Message Bible says it,“I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work. For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think.”

“Just as rain and snow descends from the skies and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth, Doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, so will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.”

In the end, my husband was away from home for less than ten months, but the days were long days, and so intense— until I found my Bridegroom. Then the moment I found Him things changed.

He, through this Ministry, gave me the understanding that I started the Journey of my entire life and I do not, will not, go back! After all, where could I go? Nowhere He isn't. His whispers to me the words of eternal life and abundant living!

I continue my Journey with Him at my side, holding my hand. And for those who are still seeking restoration, stop. Seek Him, your HH. Because just as Erin says, the more and more that I approach Him, my HH, the more my husband approaches me and wants me! But at any time I take his eyes off my HH and trust my own understanding or try to please my husband—immediately my husband moves away from me!

Our hearts must be fully His and this is something you can’t fool God about. He knows and tests your heart to know if you're ready for restoration. Are you ready?

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Erika?

Start with How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage then go to A Wise Woman next. Study all the Testimonies, and go through online courses. When you’re ready to open your heart to your HH it will happen by reading Finding the Abundant Life Course.

The book A Wise Woman is so practical and has specific teachings for a woman who wants to be ready for her husband when he returns, to be the wife that pleases God!

I highly recommend the courses as I said and reading the Encourager blog. Oh, how could I have started the day without that encouragement! And besides reading, I highly recommend that you write your praise reports and not wait. Pouring out your hearts into praise to your HH not only helps other women, it makes God take notice of you. Share how He is transforming you through His love! How He cares for you.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Erika?

Yes. Thank God today I know there is no greater joy in helping other women! Sending them to HopeAtLast and encouraging them to continue on their journey. To not ask me but ask HIM!!

Either way Erika, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

God has a perfect plan for your life! And this plan is unique, it's special for you! Yet, for all of us brokenhearted women, His plan begins with finding our HH. He is the Beloved of our souls, is anxious to be kind to you, to pour His love on you and be your HH in every way! Many of you have been chosen and will be blessed with the restoration of your marriage because He has promised and He is faithful! Believe! Get busy being ready for the most challenging and wonderful journey of your life: your Restoration with HIM!