♕Today's Promise: "You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf . . . Do not fear or be dismayed . . . the Lord is with you.” 2 Chronicles 20:17
Hanna, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
My husband, Timothy, left me a year ago in June. He left very suddenly and didn’t want much to do with me. I was extremely hurt and immediately sought after God.
After about a month God told me to love my husband unconditionally. I tried (in my own strength) to do that and we kind of got back together for about a month. But I was still the same contentious woman wanting everything my own way. My husband started pulling away again.
I love and respect my Pastor and his wife, they are godly people but they advised me to cut off intimacy with him (at this time there was no OW) and we were still married. I did and then my husband, Timothy really pulled away from me. They also said to confront him and push him into reconciling or divorce. I did, and he said that he did want a divorce but he didn’t want to hurt me. He wanted to divorce with no attorney, I said that I would think about it but I didn’t think I trusted him enough to do that. Then a woman called my work (I had never spoken to her before), and somehow she told me about RMI. She invited me over to her house to borrow her materials that night. God bless you Debbie, you were used by God. Don’t forget that!!!!
How did God change your situation, Hanna, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
As I read How God can and will Restore your Marriage, God began convicting me about my own pride, unrealistic expectations, and judgment that I had heaped upon my husband for 11 years! I was broken. God showed me how to seek Him and His word through that book. The Encouragement videos and the testimony book enabled me to hope for what I thought was hopeless. God taught me about hope and faith and unconditional love. I realize now that He had been trying to teach me for years but I couldn't understand or imagine the depth of any of those things, although I sought Him. I started loving my husband no matter what he did or didn't do. I started putting all my expectations and hope in the Lord only.
As I sought God, however, things got worse. The RYM warns us this will happen and not to be shaken. My world shook as I discovered there was another woman. Day by day went by with no hope, no affection from Timothy. Nevertheless, day-by-day, God filled me with hope in Him and with HIS affection and HIS love showered on me as He became my everything. I'm thankful for this time because I learned to lean on Him only. What a miracle. I cannot even begin to tell you all the prayers that He answered even though I stopped praying for things. Little ones like having my husband offer to set up my computer (when others had offered--I waited!). Big ones like knowing how to handle talking to my kids about the OW. Just resting in my HH changed everything in my life.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Hanna, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
God taught me that the key to seeking Him is to love and meditate on His word, to breathe it in day and night and sense Him next to me. Let the songs you listen to be songs that speak of His love, regular love songs not religious ones, also, asking Him to remove the desire to watch or read love stories that would tempt me to take my mind off of HIM and back on Timothy. Only watch what He leads me to, watching things as a couple, just me and Him! It's not impossible ladies! And this is what taught me to wait for His answers!! As we discussed everything, He told me this over and over throughout the Bible, through songs, through the RMI materials and website, and through Streams in the Desert, which I read daily.
If you put Him first, make Him your First Love and speak to Him as if He is right next to you—He will answer if you will wait. He promises us that as His bride!!!
He taught me that it is O.K. to hope in Him. It is safe. It is assured. It is wonderful to speak in faith. It blesses Him. He will show you great and mighty things that you do not know just as Erin says. God assured me that He knows what is best for me. He wants my future to be filled with love for Him.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Hanna?
When I found out about the OW, which was confirmed, by a comment made by my 8 year old, immediately the darkness began to engulf me. I wanted to give up, and sadly I even spoke it out loud. But then, He would not allow me to continue to feel this way. That is the weekend that I experienced the peace that passes all understanding in a depth that was new to me!! After that peace came, one week later my husband told me that he loved me and he missed our kids and he wanted to come home. Isn't that amazing? Once He knew I was His, and that I would come to Him for everything, He turned my husband's heart back, just as Erin and all the lessons say will happen.
Hanna, what was the "turning point” of your restoration?
When Timothy came over, he admitted to me there was an OW and that he wanted out, but he was trapped. It was sudden. Again everything RMI says will happen and what's happening that we know nothing about. Even though I thought it was over and was fine with just me and my HH, He had it all planned. Two weeks went by and I heard nothing personally from Timothy, but I was fine with just my HH. Then I found out he had moved in with the OW, next he started introducing her to his family, yet my HH held me up and more than ever I felt His love. And what's amazing is that by the grace of my Lord, I continued to love my husband unconditionally channeling the Love I got from my HH.
Shortly after he moved in with the other woman, he then gave me the divorce papers. At this point most women would abandon restoration, but that's not how He works. He leads us through the valley, wanting to be right by our side. And this is when He covered me with more grace and mercy and love for my husband and the OW. Isn't that remarkable? Remember this is a process of cleansing us, removing every trace of our earthly husbands being first in our lives, where HE is the center of our everything. I won't lie and say there weren't gut-wrenching tears and failures and prayers that seemed unanswered in between all these highs, but each time I found myself closer and closer to Him.
There were sweet things my HH did for me too, like when my husband cried when he handed me the papers. And how I was able to shower him with reassurance of my love that I knew he needed. I hugged him. I told him that he was an awesome dad and had been a much better husband than I was a wife to him! Trust me, that was not me. That was Jesus using a broken vessel to pour out His love on a lost sheep! Every time a new paper would have to be signed (custody, court release) I smiled and didn’t question. I didn’t fight anything he wanted. Then a few months later he gave me the final paper. It was over. I was sad. I wept. But my HH gave me hope and more hope and I again remembered He was all I wanted anyway.
Tell us HOW it happened, Hanna? Did Timothy just walk in the front door? Hanna, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
It was about a week after the #divorced was final when my husband unexpectedly came by to put the kids to bed (he had never done that during the year he was gone). He started weeping and I walked him outside and talked to him to comfort him, saying everything would be alright. He started talking about me and how much he loved me and how he missed his kids so much. He said his life was ruined, he was in major debt and there was no hope for him. He said that there was no way he could leave this woman although he wanted me more than anything! And as prompted, I spoke about God's hope (very gently) to soothe him.
I told him he was welcome home any time (which I had told him many times before when he would ask). I reassured him of my love. I was amazed at this personal conversation and at the amazing amount of affection from Timothy. Does God answer exceedingly, abundantly beyond all that you can think or imagine? Yes! Yes! Yes! My husband left suddenly that night, without a word, but I praised the Lord for hours after he left. Later that night, the phone rang. It was my husband asking if he could spend the night on my couch. I said, "Of course." We talked all that night!!! And he stayed a full month before we found out there was still one divorce paper that was never filed correctly!! Praise God, the divorce didn't go through as either of us thought, and all I can say is ONLY GOD could do that!!!!
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Hanna?
As I said previously, How God can and will Restore your Marriage. The Encouragement videos and the testimony series enabled me to hope for what I thought was hopeless.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Hanna?
Yes
Either way, Hanna, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
My situation was hopeless; it looked like my husband was happy. It looked like he was set to his course no matter his distress at hurting me and leaving our children. But God tells us not to believe what we see. So ladies, do as RMI says, let go of your husband, put the Lord, your HH first, and when things then begin to get worse, get closer to Him, don't turn back to being unfaithful with your earthly husband first. Your earthly husband will need HIS love that can come through you.
God says that He fights this battle for us whether we see the battle or not! God says to believe His promises and receive His blessings. God says to wait on Him only!
