♕Today's Promise: "You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.” P865
Velma, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
After only 5 months of Marriage my husband, Terron, said he wasn’t happy and wanted a “break.” From previous experience I knew what that meant and immediately proclaimed “I wasn’t going to go through that again” and that I was done, if that is what he wanted. That didn’t deter him as he decided to go stay with his friend. He stayed away for two weeks then came back home. Within those two weeks I realized all the wrong I did in the marriage and told him I would do better but his mind was already made up and my empty words meant nothing. He said he resented me and didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t know what to do, I tried showing him I can change but he became even more distant. He put me out of our bedroom and was hardly ever home. On Christmas Eve I found out he had a “girlfriend” and I was devastated. I had no one to turn to know where to seek help so I looked up to God.
How did God change your situation, Velma, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
It first started with me. God changed me. I had a desire to change but couldn’t do it without my Heavenly Husband. He gently convicted me of my selfishness, contentiousness, laziness, ungratefulness and so much more . It was difficult to face these truths, but my Heavenly Husband is so loving, He help me through each step on the way to be a better me. He taught me how to be a wife even though at this moment Terron had left the home. I was a bride to my Heavenly Husband. He helped me to forgive Terron and showed me how to love him unconditionally. Soon my once resentful husband began speaking to me again and our relationship became better, more civil and friendly. He started confiding in me again, coming over to spend time with our son and it escalated to him becoming attracted to me again and we were intimate. He was still in an adulterous relationship and it was somewhat of a roller coaster ride of emotions but our relationship was getting better as time passed. Through it all the Lord was with me helping me, guiding me and holding me secure. He was and is still my Rock.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial, Velma?
So much, so so much!! The biggest and truly the greatest command of love and how from it, everything stems. Patience, forgiveness, grace, kindness and so much more. Everything you need when trusting for your marriage to be restored. I had to trust that love conquers all and never fails. When something came up to shake me, I applied a heavy coating of love to it.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Velma?
One of the most difficult times was when Terron moved out and I knew it was to go live with the other woman. He then told me he wanted a divorce and was just waiting for the two year mark to pass. The Lord later revealed that he put it in his heart to wait instead of just filing to give us time to restore. How sweet is my Heavenly Husband. The day came for him to leave and I felt peace when I should have been devastated. It was truly something wonderful. My Heavenly Husband said Terron would come back so I knew he had to leave to come back.
Velma, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was actually when I misplaced my faith and put my trust in Terron. We were intimate and I started to lose sight for a moment on who was fighting this battle. My husband's birthday came around which he spent with the other woman, I got Covid and I felt completely empty and lost. I knew I was in a moment of separation from God and I felt horrible. I repented and begged to be back with my Heavenly Husband. It was from that moment I knew who had to be first in my life. Things started to change deeper within me and my situation at that point. I even reached a point where life with just me and my HH was so sweet I didn’t need my husband to come back .
Tell us HOW it happened, Velma? Did Terron just walk in the front door? Velma, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
It was slow and gradual. He first stated that our divorce was a “maybe.” He then expressed that he wanted to come home. He moved back to the friend he had stayed by at the beginning and then over the course of maybe two weeks he brought his clothes home and moved back home. Praise God!
Something did happen that I felt was a test of my love. Terron went away with the other woman and I knew about it. He even posted a video and all I said to myself was: “I forgive him”. That same night he posted the video he video called to see our son and I allowed him to with no display of anger or hurt. A few days later when he returned he expressed that he wanted to come home. I had truly learnt to forgive and love like my Heavenly Husband wanted me to.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Velma?
A Wise Woman. I was truly a foolish woman who destroyed her home and this resource brought to light so clearly all my mistakes. I am so happy I clicked the link when I did. After my Heavenly Husband had already worked on my heart, my submission and trust for Him. I was ready and open to receive the teachings in that book. The testimonies all spoke to my heart in different ways and I could relate so much to them. They really helped me! Thank you so much. God bless you all!
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Velma?
Yes
Either way, Velma, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Submit to God and the process He wants to take you through. It starts with you. According to a chapter I read in a Wise Woman, we wives are the heart of the marriage and the man is the head. God must turn and fix the heart first before he can turn and fix the head. Hold onto your Heavenly Husband, He will get you through.
