♕ Today's Promise: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7
Cadence, how did your restoration actually begin?
Dear friends, my journey began about a year ago, when my husband and I began to have daily disagreements, but by the end of the day we were fine. Even at the time, I saw it as foolish disagreements, because I did not understand what I did that irritated him so much, and meanwhile, my husband was increasing his anger toward me day after day.
One day when I left work, I found a cell phone in the back of the car, and when I asked whose it was, my husband said he had given a ride to some friends of the company he worked for. I was very restless, and at the first opportunity I searched the cell phone, and what I found did not make me happy—because there were messages from my husband to a woman on that phone!! I was speechless; I fell to my knees in despair!
My foolish attitude took over, and I filed for divorce against my husband. I blatantly told everyone that I no longer trusted him, that, yes, I loved him, but that I no longer trusted him.
Beloved, I did this to my husband in order to punish him, because what I had discovered was serious, so I showed the phone to him when I got back from my attorney. At the time, I thought it was not right to act as if nothing had happened, not let him get away with it, so my only recourse was to file for a divorce.
At first, my husband was reluctant, but I pretended to be firm. Our marriage could not withstand the ongoing fights that led to us becoming farther and farther apart from one another. I knew that, but then one day, he suddenly told me that he no longer loved me and he wanted the divorce.
I fell into much deeper despair and changed course. I began to chase after my husband with text messages and phone messages where I would cry and beg him to love me again. I humiliated myself day after day, but he was adamant about his decision. He packed and left home, hoping to distance himself from me.
I prayed for my marriage every day, but I prayed wrong. I was distressed; I was asking God, “What have I done?” Nothing. “Why was my husband treating me that way, because I didn't deserve it?” This all was very painful, so I just heard what I wanted to hear.
After a few days, I went to a prayer meeting at my sister's house, hoping to find something to hang onto. While there, God “gave me a word” from a woman who came to the meeting. She told me that my marriage was not God's will, but then I remembered the Word of God, and I told my sister quietly that I didn't believe that woman because God's Word isn’t discouraging. My sister said, “I agree; God restores marriages!” Praise God!!!! The word that “God restores marriages” ran over and over in my mind, and when I lay down that night to sleep, I felt led to get back up and search Google for "Marriages Restored by God," and that's when my journey began! I found RMI!!!!
I read several testimonies, and each pointed to this ministry. I ordered Erin’s book, How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, and then filled out the Marriage Encouragement Questionnaire.”
at HopeAtLast.com, immediately getting an Evaluation offering me FREE courses.
I followed each lesson step-by-step. It was hard. I realized I was wrong so many times, but God in His infinite mercy comforted me and gave me chances upon chances to do the lessons over until I got it right. I actually asked God to show me my mistakes, and it was amazing because He showed them to me one by one, so I could be healed from them all. I saw how much bitterness was in me and that I was as guilty as my husband had been. I realized that I had allowed the enemy into my life to use my ignorance and lack of knowing His Word to destroy me and our marriage.
God opened my eyes and took care of me; He taught me to pray, to truly love Him, to seek Him for every answer, to fast, to be obedient and to forgive.
The more I prayed, the more my husband moved away. It seemed that restoration would be impossible. My husband went out with other women, got serious with one, but he hid her and their relationship from me. Praise God.
Today, I want to shout to the Honor and Glory of the Lord that GOD restored my Marriage! To God be given all Honor and All Glory!
How did God change your situation, Cadence, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
God changed my situation, as I sought Him with all my heart when I took my eyes off my husband when I let go. The more I exhibited a gentle and quiet spirit, the more “the contentious woman” died and was gone, the more I won my husband without a word, the less impossible I could sense my marriage was becoming. However, there were no signs, no improvement whatsoever. Instead, it was trust and what was unseen that led to restoration.
I stopped looking at my situation (that was getting worse) and looked only at what God could do, which was the impossible; that is when I stopped looking at my husband's mistakes and was given an opportunity to ask forgiveness for my mistakes. When I wanted my Heavenly Husband more than I wanted my marriage, I got closer to restoration.
I asked God to mold me, to transform me, to restore me to my HH. As a result, He gave me all of that and also my husband, and my marriage!! Only God could do that!!
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Cadence, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
Letting my husband go, looking to God and not considering my deteriorating situation was most important...to forgive, to obey, and to want HIM above all things.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Cadence?
There was a day that my husband went to take me to work, and on the way, he told me that he wanted to sell our home because it made no sense for him to stay in a property with me--because he needed to buy himself something new where he could live alone. At that moment, I spoke to my HH, asking Him to suppress the tears that were coming, and that’s when my husband said we would talk about it later. We were on our way to church, so when we arrived for the service, I went to the bathroom where I was able to cry out to God. I spent the whole morning saying: “Darling, HH, I trust You!”
At the time, I had the desire to buy my husband's part of our home in order to keep it, but when I spoke to my HH, He told me not to stand in the way of what my husband wanted to do. So the next time he brought it up, I immediately agreed with him, putting on a big smile (trusting Him), and I said, if he wanted to, we could go ahead and put it up for sale.
Beloved, I saw the miracle of God before me—my husband was silent, and he began to weep. My husband could not say a word. God turned his heart immediately because I trusted and obeyed Him. When my husband stopped crying, he began shaking his head, denying that he wanted to sell.
Cadence, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was when I wanted my HH more than my husband or marriage.
Tell us HOW it happened, Cadence. Did your husband just walk in the front door? Cadence, did you suspect, or could you tell you were close to being restored?
My husband never fully left me. He kept in touch, called and was always willing to help me. But at first, he was a bit gruff and sure in his decision to divorce. There was a short period when he seemed to hate me, but little by little God took the hate wall down. The more I fell in love with my HH, the more my husband came closer and closer to me. The more often he called, the more he wanted to see me, and said that he missed me.
An interesting thing: I always asked God in my prayers to remove every bad thought that my earthly husband had about me and replace it with never being able to forget me, no matter what he was doing. God did more than that because my husband reported that he couldn’t get me out of his mind, he said that once he saw a woman holding her hair away from her face, and it reminded him of the way I held it.
The day my restoration happened, I was working, and my husband sent me a very long message, saying that wanting to divorce me was the biggest mistake in his life and the big mistake before that was when he had separated from me. He said that I had changed, that I was a better person, and that he still loved me, maybe more now than ever. That day, he moved back home.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Cadence?
I recommend all materials!
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Cadence?
Yes
Either way, Cadence, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Don't give up on your marriage! Don't give up on your family! This happened for a GOOD reason. The reason was to change you, to help you find your HH and His love. Simply pray, fast and seek God with all your heart! Believe in the miracle He just longs to give you!
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
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