Tierra, how did your restoration actually begin?
I was never a person to remember dates, but the day of February 24th is marked forever in my life because it was the day that God chose to take everything bad that was in my life and show me His power. Several months ago, my marriage was not going well; my husband had changed a lot. I noticed he was depressed, but it was actually due to guilt for committing adultery.
Friends and colleagues who knew what was going on told him that if he did not tell me, someone would and that would be worse. So, he decided to tell me and leave the house, because according to him the shame was so much that he could not look at me or our son. He said he needed to get himself straightened out and, when he was better, he would come back.
It was 5 months of not seeing him, along with coldness when we needed to talk, that shocked me into finding hope. He was not the same man I once loved. But this opened the door to meet a new man, the Man of my dreams.
How did God change your situation, Tierra, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
On the day he left, I felt a hole open beneath my feet, trying to swallow me. But I felt a certain relief because now I knew why my husband was so different. The first day was very strange as if it were a nightmare, but after the second day it became hopeless; my son and I would cry in each others’ arms. The pain was so much, I could not eat or drink; for many days I did not eat, and as a result, I lost 13kg (28 lbs) in less than 2 months. But the most surprising thing was that I could only think about and talk to God. I prayed all the time, fasted, and sought help on the internet. That's when my life changed. God began showing me that I'd lacked wisdom, so when I searched I found the book A Wise Woman on Amazon. Immediately reading just the first few pages, I realized how foolish I was, that I did not take care of my home; I'd pulled it down with my own hands! I made room for the enemy to come in and steal from me, to destroy my life, my son's life, my husband's life.
At that moment, I asked God to forgive me, and I asked Him to change me because I did not want to be that same woman anymore. I asked Him to teach me how to be the wise woman He wanted me to be. And so my journey began. I discovered your HopeAtLast.com website and began taking the courses, being fed spiritually, feeling stronger than I'd ever felt in my life.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Tierra, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
Through the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, I began to truly know the Word of God, because every teaching in the book was one Bible verse after the other. I was being "washed with the water of the Word," and it soothed every part of me. It seemed that the book had been written for me; all I had to do was insert my name.
Each day, I began with praise, with singing a love song, and put into practice everything I learned based on the Word of God. This wasn't anyone's opinion; it was what God said but what I'd been ignorant of. First, I let my husband go and learned to seek God with all my heart for every decision I made.
The days and months passed, and I began to feel stronger. I began eating again and to smile because in my heart there was Someone who loved me—loved me unconditionally. I also knew God would restore my marriage, though I did not know when it would be. I knew it would happen, so it was easy to leave it to God to restore, while I focused on my new Love relationship with my Heavenly Husband.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Tierra?
The most painful moments were when I needed to talk to my husband or receive an email response, as well as the distancing of our son, who at the time was a young adult, so he understood, and therefore felt, the whole situation very much. The coldness in his words chilled me to the bone because I did not recognize him as the loving caring man he'd always been, not just to me, but to everyone.
In the early days, my prayers had no words, only tears, but I knew that God would harvest each one of them, keeping them in a bottle (Psalm 56:8) and that no matter what difficulty I was going through, He was using it for my good. The tears washed bitterness from my heart, and His Word washed away the guilt and shame I'd lived with since I was a young girl. I was being given a makeover; my Beloved was treating me to a spiritual spa and healing me from the inside out.
Tierra, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
There wasn't one turning point, but several that changed my life. The first was when I gave up fighting in my strength and gave my battle into God's hand (Exodus 14:13). That’s when I asked for His will to be done and not mine. When I could say this to people who inquired what was going on and I was willing to accept the will of God in my heart, I knew I would be fine, regardless of the outcome.
My greatest turning point was becoming His bride; this is when I was fully able to rest and enjoy my life, like never before. Ultimately, it is also what led to my restoration.
Tell us HOW it happened, Tierra. Did your husband just walk in the front door? Tierra, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
One day, I drove by a small church near my house (one I'd seen dozens of times) and felt led to go in. As I was sitting, speaking to my Husband, the preacher came up and told me that my husband was there that afternoon! He told me he'd come to confess and get himself right with God.
That night when I got home, I began telling my son what had happened, and my son said, "Mom, Dad put the picture of us back on Facebook,” and he'd messaged him asking about it. Our son asked him about that picture, and his dad said he wanted his family back. That same night, he called me, just to talk, but never mentioned anything about going to church or the messaging with our son.
The next day, we did not talk. On Saturday, as I was singing my love song, the phone rang, and it was my husband inviting me to lunch. It was the first time in five months that his voice was calm and composed. I accepted the invitation, and after lunch, as we walked along the river, he apologized for everything he had done and asked if I could ever forgive him because he was ready to come home. I smiled and said, "Of course," and he seemed very relieved. I said, "Didn't you think I would?" and his answer surprised me. He said, "I thought you might, but I wasn't sure if you'd want me back. I knew you'd met someone. Everyone's been talking about how happy you are, how beautiful you look, so I was hopeful but prepared for you to say no."
So we sat down, and I was able to tell him about my relationship with my Heavenly Husband and how it had healed me. He didn't say much at that time, but I could see he was listening, trying his best to understand.
What surprised me was that he already had his luggage in the car to return home, so that's where we went, home.
Like Erin says, the next few days were not easy. Both he and I were apprehensive of what it would be like to be living as husband and wife again. His biggest fear, he told me later, was not getting my trust back, and he was also struggling with accusations I'd made about him in the past. I feared the possibility of not trusting, or being cheated on, as I'd been in the past.
Yet, each time when my mind was filled with evil thoughts, of fears about my husband or my restoration, I would run and find my way to a quiet place to talk to my Beloved Husband. I would ask Him about each concern, and each time He would replace the lie with the truth. This pattern started long before my restoration, so I had practiced it so much that it was instinctive after restoration.
My husband soon began feeling more comfortable, and I can see him every day living in a way that makes me happy to see. We just received our Couple's Packet, and we have set this weekend to begin studying the workbooks together.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Tierra?
I recommend all the materials from your bookstore and the online courses to everyone I know! I am very happy to have the gift of the couple’s book for my husband now. Thank you, partners. I have already given away many of your books to the many women I know because after what happened to us, I run into so many with difficulty in the marriage that needs these books.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Tierra?
Yes
Either way, Tierra, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Women who go through some difficulty in marriage must first seek God, and from there God will direct them to the relationship with their HH that will change everything. In addition, we each lack wisdom, so learning to be Wise Women and Wise Men will help change the course of so many lives that are intertwined with ours.
Do not be carried away by what the world preaches (and many churches also preach). It’s a lie that God accepts divorce; it’s a lie that once betrayed, the sinner will betray again. Trust in the God you serve, not in what the world speaks. We are told to trust Him and no one else. And when we do, He is faithful.
“Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength…”
“Blessed is the man who trusts the Lord.” Jer. 17:5, 7.
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