♕ Today's Promise: "And now let me speak to the wives. Be devoted to your own husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the Word of God, your kind conduct may win them over without you saying a thing. For when they observe your pure, godly life before God, it will impact them deeply." 1 Peter 3:1-2 TPT
Marabel, how did your restoration actually begin?
My relationship started about 8 years ago, we started as friends and in a short time we were in love. He was my first boyfriend and then after yet another fight, it all ended. I thought he loved me and that he could never leave me, but I was very wrong. I was nasty to him so how could I ever think he wouldn’t leave me some day? I was quarrelsome, controlling, contentious, proud, and most of the time I was cruel, abusive really. I find it fascinating that women believe we can be abusive in what we say but if a man does it to us, it’s entirely different and unexceptable.
I knew I really loved him but my pride was huge. I didn't treat him as someone of any value. So in this fatal fight, I stayed weeks without contact and was shocked that when I finally got in touch, he didn't want to come back. I found out later that he was already in a relationship with another woman. It was a blow I didn’t see coming. Like he’d stabbed me in the heart. I was inconsolable, I begged, I cried, but all the pleading was in vain. He said he was happily involved with the other woman and everything I did only made the situation worse. I even went to talk to the other woman, but that only increased her interest in him. Every day after work he went to her house, every day without missing a day. He didn't care about anything but her, he was blind and even a bit bewitched.
How did God change your situation, Marabel, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
After I saw everything fall apart, I went into utter despair, I did not eat, I did not sleep. In my depression as I cried out to God, I began to remember what I heard so many people say, that God who could do anything. Nothing was impossible with Him. Although I believed that He existed I did not believe that He would be so alive, so present in anyone's life, and had no understanding that He loved me. So I cried in desperation and begged God to help me, to let me know Him so He wouldn't let my dreams die this painful death.
Guided by God, I knew it had to be Him, I went to a website and saw a phone number of a person who was going through this situation. I sent a message and she replied and told me about the book (how God can and will restore your marriage) and soon after searching I found it and found my way to RMI. Like a stream in the desert for the first time I thought I may not die after all. It was like God put a balm on my wounds. At first, it hurt a lot, I thought I would never be able to endure so much pain, but I flung myself at the feet of the Lord, cried out for relief, and little by little I discovered the truth in His Words and I managed to get up and begin to live again. God treated me as His own. I learned about His Son and witnessed how He is faithful in everything He promises and gives you more than your own dreams.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Marabel, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I remember that I spent hours praying that God would remove him and take him away from OW grasp. Praying that he would love me again. I wasted a lot of time until I got to know God, then I became my Heavenly Husbands' bride. I felt so much joy in His presence, I heard praises and rejoiced—in the joyful times I praised Him, and I learned to praise in difficult times even more. That's when my life story started to change. Once I was seeking my HH above everything else, at all times. Brides you must trust and trust and then trust Him some more.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Marabel?
The worst moment was letting go. I was reluctant to let God work. I thought that if I disappeared that he would forget me, but I began to understand that staying in touch made him loathe me and want to escape even more from my grasp. God needed to show me my errors after gently trying to coax me to let go.
It all happened one night when I went over to his house. He'd asked me to say away but I went anyway and just walked inside the unlocked door. When I refused to leave, he left, he texted me saying he said he wasn't going to come back, that he was going to sleep at her house. That night, listening to all these hurtful words again, left me raw. I left and went to my parents' house because I didn't know what to do and that's when I decided to leave it to the Lord—because I saw that I didn't have the strength and could do nothing.
Marabel, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point happened after I got to know God, meditated on the Word, poured myself into each of your courses, prayed, fasted, cried a lot at the feet of the Lord, and struggled not to look at the situation. I was receiving confirmation that God would restore but that's when I no longer wanted it. I know that this is often when marriage restoration happens, but I wasn't married. I had been living with my boyfriend who had no intention of marrying me (and while living together I didn't even want to be married either). The turning point was A Wise Woman, specifically when I got to Chapter 7, "Chaste and Respectful."
This chapter got my attention when I read, "We are told that respect is something we should demand from others. We are told that we should have respect for ourselves. To learn the true meaning of respect, let us look for a deeper understanding. Our husbands are to be won “by the behavior of their wives, as they observe [our] chaste and respectful behavior” (1 Pet. 3:1). The word respect is defined in the dictionary as “special esteem or consideration in which one holds another person”! It is not what we demand for ourselves!"
What is chaste? The word chaste as: clean, innocent, modest, perfect, pure. Webster’s Dictionary defines chaste in two ways: 1. Innocent of immoral sexual intercourse (fornication); innocent of a manner of speech (reread lesson 4, “Kindness Is on Her Tongue.”) 2. Dress, modest, restrained, pure, unadorned.
I began to search for help as a single woman, a brand new single woman who was now washed pure and a woman who didn't want to be polluted. Having a HH made me realize I didn't need a man in my life and when it was Him I wanted. I yearned for more time with Him, I wanted to trust Him and I wanted to wait until I was married to be with a man. I so wanted to be treated kindly now that I had a gentle and quiet spirit and had experienced His gentle love. In the process, I also moved back in with my parents to help with any temptations and that’s when God restored my relationship with them!
Tell us HOW it happened, Marabel? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Marabel, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
After I moved back in with my parents and found such contentment wanting to remain single and pure is when my boyfriend began texting me. After ignoring him, I realized I needed to block him. Since I let go of Facebook, there wasn't another way to connect to me, so that's when I found out he went to where I used to live. I would never have imagined being pursued by a guy who always has women chasing him. He always said it was beneath him, but nothing is impossible with God.
It took a couple of weeks for him to track me down (I'd changed jobs too). He showed up at my parents' door one night and I told my sister to tell him I wasn't available to come to the door. The next morning when I left for work I got to the sidewalk and there he was waiting for me. He asked me what was wrong, why was I avoiding him and when I didn't really say anything, he said he'd missed me. I still didn't say anything, then he said something I thought I'd never hear him say. He said he was sorry for running after the other woman, that he should have come back when I'd asked and that he was ready to be together again. He asked if he could move in with me at my parents or did I want to come live with him at his mom's house?
From the moment I saw him standing there I started asking my Darling to know what to say, to speak through me, to give me the words to say and to remain strong and resolute. To not fall into temptation. When I opened my mouth to speak I heard myself say, "Thank you for all that you said, but I am not the same person you left. Not coming back was the best thing that could have happened to me. I found Someone else too, a relationship that makes me so happy and Someone I don't want to lose." Then I turned and hurried away to catch my bus that had just pulled up. As it drove off I saw my boyfriend just standing there staring, stunned.
So my restoration is with my parents and most importantly with God. And when it's the appointed time, I will build my new relationship on the Rock. I will remain pure and vow to treat my earthly husband as a wife with a gentle and quiet spirit
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Marabel?
Even though the book HOW GOD CAN AND WILL RESTORE YOUR MARRIAGE is for women who are married, it really helped me a lot to know God had everything under His control. But I first recommend reading A WISE WOMAN to really make sure that all you believe is founded on the Rock. I also recommend the bible app to read through the bible and listen as you read. All your courses are amazing as are the praise reports and devotionals.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Marabel?
Yes, probably helping single women who think themselves married.
Either way, Marabel, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
The desert we go through is used to get to know Him, God, then to know our Lord who washed us with His blood, who came into the world to forgive, not condemn any of us. Knowing the Lord as a HH is wonderful, I wish I had this relationship sooner but trust I will be in love with Him and Him with me forever. Forever with Him. Thank You God for choosing me, for having restored my heart, and opening my eyes and plucking me from living in sin and despair. I believe that Your work in my life will continue long after You bring the right husband into my life. I promise to seek You and not look for any man but allow you to choose. I hope the most wonderful blessings flourish in your lives, dear sweet sisters. I love You, thank You Father and my most Precious Love.
Find more encouragement and overcome the hurdle of #Contentious Woman, #Letting Go, #Gentle & Quiet Spirit by clicking on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.
Filed under hashtag #: contentious, fasting, gentle & quiet, letting go, NeverLegallyMarried, RMT
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
Read MORE Using the Translate >> Portuguese RMTs and Spanish RMTs
There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.
